Customer: “I need some help locating the item that this coupon advertises. I’ve looked everywhere and just can’t find it.”

Me: “Let’s see if I can help you here…” *looks at the coupon* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell this item anymore.”

Customer: “Why not? I have a coupon for it. I wanted to get it for my husband for his birthday next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon was expired fifteen years ago. They no longer make this product.”

Customer: “Can’t you go look for one? I really need it, it would be perfect for him.”

Me: “…sure! It just so happens that I developed a machine that can warp the space/time continuum. Would you like to accompany me on the trip or would you like to stay here?”

Customer: “REALLY? Thank you so much! I’ll stay here and wait for you.”

(I go into the backroom for a couple of minutes to let my manager know what I’m about to do, then come back out running.)

Me: “MA’AM! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! I MESSED UP AND WENT BACK TOO FAR! I ENDED UP GOING BACK TO THE AGE OF THE DINOSAURS AND THERE’S A PISSED-OFF VELOCIRAPTOR RIGHT BEHIND ME!”

Customer: “OH, NO! I’LL GO CALL THE POLICE!” *runs out of the store*

(I went back to my manager after the customer ran off, and he was literally rolling on the ground laughing.)

Customer: “Do you have a copy of [Book] in stock?”

Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?”

Customer: “Yes. Also, I was emailed a coupon that I’d like to use to buy that book, but my printer is broken. Is there anything you can do?”

Me: “Sure, just write down the coupon code and the amount you’ll be saving. As long as we can verify these two things in the system, our computers will allow the discount.”

Customer: “Should I draw the bar code for you?”

Me: “I’m sorry? Come again?”

Customer: “Would it help if I drew the bar code?”

Me: “No… the coupon code will do just fine.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(We are running a little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)

Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “What about sale items?”

Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”

Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But it’s marked down!”

Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”

Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”

Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”

Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”

(A woman had been coming in every day and paying for venti drinks with all the trimmings using service recovery coupons. This went on for about a year and a half, and finally, we were told to stop taking them from her. They were old, we had never given any to her, and she could not have acquired so many of them legitimately.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t take any of these coupons, they’re outdated.”

Coupon Lady: “…but I use these all the time. They always take them!”

Me: “They’re outdated. There are new ones now, and we’re not allowed to take the old ones anymore.”

Coupon Lady: *pays for her drinks, leaves*

(The next day Coupon Lady returns with her husband and tries the same thing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I told you yesterday, we will not accept any more coupons from you.”

Husband: “I want to speak to your manager.”

(I go and get a manager; the husband commences shouting at manager.)

Manager: “You’ve been using these coupons almost daily since this location opened. We are not going to accept them anymore.”

Husband: “We know the man in charge! WE GOT THESE FROM THE HEAD GUY!”

Manager: “Sir, if you’d actually gotten these coupons from the man in charge, you would know that the man in charge here is a WOMAN.”

This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Times Retail Workers Got Short-Changed By Their Bad Customers

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(The company was running a coupon special for 20% off one item ONE COUPON PER PERSON. This one heavily made-up woman caused problems at every coupon sale I ever worked there and this time was no different. She made one purchase and then this happened.)

Woman: “How many of these can I use?”

Me: “It’s one per person, so no more today, but there is another coupon for tomorrow so you can come back and use one then.”

Woman: “What if I send my husband in? Can he use one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. He is a different person so that’s fine.”

Woman: “Well, how many can he use?”

Me: “One. It’s one per person.”

Woman: “What if I buy something else?”

Me: “Well you can buy whatever you want, but you can’t use another coupon. It’s one person for the whole day, not one per transaction.”

Woman: “What if I leave and come back in?”

Me: “You’re still the same person.”

Woman: “What do you mean? I’ll have left and come back.”

Me: “Well our doors are not equipped to change your genetic make-up upon entry, so you would still be the same person.”

(The woman stormed off, then returned 20 minutes later wearing a different top. For some reason, she decided to come through my lane again. I refused to let her use it, so she screamed at me and my manager. Eventually, she just wadded up the coupon, hit my manager in the face with it, and ran off cursing…only to return the next morning and repeat the scenario.)

This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

Read the next Confused-By-Coupons roundup story!

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