(I’m a two-month employee at a popular sandwich store in an outlet mall’s food court. I am the only one in the entire store during the lunch rush. A middle-aged woman in a unicorn shirt and tattered jeans comes up to the line for her meal. She orders a half a ham sandwich, and the process goes through as normal. I’m very stressed, but trying my best to be as polite as I can.)

Me: “That’ll be [total], ma’am. Cash or card?”

Customer: “I have this coupon.”

(The coupon is clearly fake. It’s some Google images put together in Paint, with plain text on the front that says “ONE FREE SANDWITCH.”)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t think I can accept this.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “I would need my manager’s approval for a coupon of this type, and she’s not in right now.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s bulls***. The management for the mall gave me that coupon because I am a bus driver and I drove 100 people here. That’s a lot of business!”

(The woman begins to yell obscenities at me, including telling the line of now over 30 people to leave because the service isn’t worth it. I am flustered, embarrassed, and on the verge of tears. The mall does give bus drivers of 500 or more people food vouchers for the food court, but they look completely different, and they include the mall’s official seal. They also require the manager’s approval.)

Customer: “I cannot believe this. My daughter would have your head! Who the hell do you think you are, refusing this?”

Me: “I-I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t—”

(The woman suddenly lunges over the counter and takes a swing at me, trying to punch me in the face. I’m skittish and timid by nature and quickly dodge under her fist. She grabs her sandwich and sprints away. I am completely in tears at this point, but people have been patiently waiting. I void the transaction, then run to the next customer in line to begin his order, drying my eyes with my shirt. A few orders go through as normal and nobody says anything about my tears or the violent lady. One of the last customers in the long line asks my favorite type of cookie, orders three, pays for his meal, and then hands me the cookie bag.)

Customer: “These are for you. I think you’re very brave, and I’ve never seen someone tough through service in tears after something like that.”

(Those were the most delicious cookies I’d ever tasted, especially after that kind of day. I quit not long after that incident. I never saw the lady again, though.)

(It was just announced that our store is closing. Since we are in liquidation, there are signs posted on the doors and at the registers that we do not take checks, nor any coupons. I am ringing out a customer who hands me a coupon.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We no longer accept coupons at this location due to our liquidation.” *seeing that she is starting to write out a check* “And we no longer take checks, either.”

Customer: “What! Since when?! I always write checks here.”

Me: *pointing at the sign at the register right where she’s standing* “Right here. It’s also on the door as you come in.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I always write checks here! I don’t have another way to pay. I am never coming back here again!”

Me: “Okay.”

(It’s Saturday, which means that we have a $5-off coupon for any purchase over $25. A couple comes up to my register and we strike up a conversation about travelling and Las Vegas.)

Me: *finishes ringing the couple up* “That’ll be [amount around $110].”

Customer: *pays and continues to chatter about Las Vegas*

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Oh! I forgot my $5 coupon!”

Me: *slightly nervous, because I’ve always ended up panicking in scenarios like this* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do the coupon now, since the transaction has been finished.”

Customer: “No, you can’t do that! I forgot to use my coupon and I want to use it!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t use it now that the transaction has been finished.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!” *smiling, but very agitated*

Manager: *hurries over and asks the customer what’s wrong, the customer repeats the exact same thing to her* “I’m sorry ma’am, but we’d have to return your entire purchase just to use it.”

Customer: “Fine, then let’s return everything!”

Manager: *speechless*

(At this point a line is forming, and we only have two working registers, with only one cashier. The customer continues to go on about wanting to return her entire purchase, but a man in line chimes in.)

Man: “Lady, just give me the coupon and I will give you the five dollars. If it’s really that big of a deal, I will give you the five dollars!”

Customer: *gets mad and leaves with a huff*

(I get a coupon in the mail that allows me to get $5 off an animated DVD. I decide to pick it up while grocery shopping. Because of my husband’s pay schedule, I can only buy groceries once every six weeks, which means I have to buy enough food and supplies to last us that long. It’s not an easy thing to do with a newborn in diapers and a toddler. I get two carts up to the check out, pushing one cart with the toddler in it and pulling the other with the baby. The poor cashier has a hard time because I have so many coupons, including several buy-one-get-one coupons that require the price of the item to be written in. Finally, after 25 minutes, we get everything paid for and someone helps me take the bags out to my car. When I get home and look over my receipt, I see I was not charged the $20 for the DVD, but did have the $5 coupon applied to my total. I call the store and get the manager.)

Me: “Hi, I was in earlier today buying groceries. I bought a DVD with a coupon. The problem is that the cashier took the $5 off the bill, but she never charged me for the DVD. I know it was because she was distracted by me talking to her and by all my coupons. I can come in and pay for it, but I won’t be on that side of town for another six weeks, and I can’t afford the gas right now. Can I mail you a check?”

Manager: “…”

Me: “Um, hello? Are you still there?”

Manager: “Yeah, sorry; you kind of threw me off. I have never had anyone actually call me with this offer. Most people just steal the DVDs. Tell you what: why don’t you just keep the DVD as a gift, but let me know which one it is so I can take it out of stock?”

Me: “Really?! Oh, thank you! Are you sure?”

Manager: “Lady, it would be my pleasure. And the manager that is sitting next to me listening to the whole conversation agrees.”

(Honesty is the best policy.)

(I’m waiting in line behind a customer being served. She presents two sale vouchers to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Are you certain you would like to use these? It will cost more if—”

Customer: “I’ve already done the counting and double-checked. I know exactly what it will cost me. You people don’t know how to do maths; you let the machines do it for you.”

(The customer then goes on a tirade about how she is an Oxford graduate and how the cashier is potentially the stupidest person on the planet. She then goes through each item she is buying, applying the discounts the vouchers offer. The cashier, all the while, stands with the straightest face I’ve ever seen. After the customer finishes, she shrugs her shoulders and applies the vouchers.)

Cashier: “£69.40, please.”

Customer: “What? No. You did it wrong. It’s supposed to be £45.90. Here; I’ll go through it again, and keep up this time. You—”

Cashier: “I think it would be kinder to everyone else waiting if I simply draw your attention to the disclaimer at the bottom of the vouchers.”

Customer: “I read the entire thing, front and back.”

Cashier: “Clearly, reading isn’t your strong point, because in order to put these vouchers through, I had to cancel the sale prices and put everything through at full price.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. You see, I’m an Oxford graduate, and—”

Cashier: “I graduated with a doctorate from Oxford three years ago, so your credentials mean absolutely nothing, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: “You lying b****! If you’re from Oxford, why are you working in a shop?”

Cashier: “That’s certainly none of your business, but if it gets you out of here sooner: my mum owns the store, and I’m helping out while she has surgery.”

(With nothing else to go on, the customer stands there for a few seconds before running out of the building.)

Cashier: “Miss, please don’t forget your vouchers!”

(She didn’t turn back.)