Can’t Em-Bra-ce Her Tomboyishness

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | May 28, 2015

(I am working the rentals department of a costume shop when I was forwarded a call.)

Me: “Hi, what can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you have any mini skirts, low cut blouses, push up bras, high heels, that sort of thing.”

Me: “Yes, we might have something like that. What type of event do you need it for?”

Customer: “It’s not for me; it’s for my daughter. She just got her degree and is interviewing for a job.”

Me: “…What job is she interviewing for?”

Customer: “It’s for [Major Video Game Developer]. She’s a video game programmer.”

Me: “I’m sorry. She’s going in for an interview and she needs what, now?”

Customer: “Don’t you think she needs to wear something sexy? You know, since there are so many men in that field?”

Me: “What does your daughter think she should wear?”

Customer: “Oh, she’s a tomboy. She’d wear a T-shirt if I let her. But don’t you agree with me? Shouldn’t she wear something sexy?”

Me: *afraid to outright disagree with a customer* “I think you should consult someone in the industry about what’s appropriate.”

Customer: “She needs to show a little cleavage, you know? With a mini skirt?”

Me: *completely flabbergasted* “…I’m sorry, I don’t think we have anything to help you.”

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Christmas Cancellation Fee

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | December 21, 2014

(A man rented six Santa suits for his various insurance company locations, as he owns several. Two hours before he is to pick up his order he calls in.)

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to cancel the Santa suits, and I’d like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we require at least 48 hours’ notice for all cancellations.”

Caller: “But I don’t need these any more.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s in the rental contract you signed that you can’t cancel the day of and get a refund.”

Caller: “What, actually you expected me to read that thing!?”

(Our contract is one page long, size-14 font, with all major points in bold, and we go over each point with the customer before they sign it. But apparently that was too much for an insurance salesman to read.)

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I Can Be Anything I Want

, | Massachusetts, USA | Right | November 27, 2011

Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

(I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s six.”

See this story as a comic!

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You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Job Description

, | Arlington, VA, USA | Right | September 1, 2011

(I am a cashier at a costume store. A young boy and his mother come up to pay. The mother is busy texting. The boy has a police officer costume in his hand.)

Boy: “Mommy, now I can really play sodomy!”

Mom: *not paying attention* “That’s nice, sweetie.”

Me: *confused* “Playing sodomy?”

Boy: “Sodomy, like when you pretend to be the police.”

 

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Some Questions Should Never Be Asked

, | | Right | June 6, 2008

Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys have any costumes?”

Me: “Yes, we have a 5,000 square foot warehouse.”

Caller: “And do you rent them?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “How much is it?”

Me: “It depends on what kind of costume are you looking for.”

Caller: “I don’t know… can’t you just tell me how much it is?”

Me: “Not without knowing what you want, no.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever.” *click*

(10 minutes later, they call back.)

Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have any giant penis costumes?”

Me: “… uh, no. I don’t think we do.”

Caller: “Darn.” *click*

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