I Can Be Anything I Want

, | Massachusetts, USA | Right | November 27, 2011

Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

(I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s six.”

See this story as a comic!

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You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Job Description

, | Arlington, VA, USA | Right | September 1, 2011

(I am a cashier at a costume store. A young boy and his mother come up to pay. The mother is busy texting. The boy has a police officer costume in his hand.)

Boy: “Mommy, now I can really play sodomy!”

Mom: *not paying attention* “That’s nice, sweetie.”

Me: *confused* “Playing sodomy?”

Boy: “Sodomy, like when you pretend to be the police.”


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Some Questions Should Never Be Asked

, | | Right | June 6, 2008

Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys have any costumes?”

Me: “Yes, we have a 5,000 square foot warehouse.”

Caller: “And do you rent them?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “How much is it?”

Me: “It depends on what kind of costume are you looking for.”

Caller: “I don’t know… can’t you just tell me how much it is?”

Me: “Not without knowing what you want, no.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever.” *click*

(10 minutes later, they call back.)

Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have any giant penis costumes?”

Me: “… uh, no. I don’t think we do.”

Caller: “Darn.” *click*

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