Sales… Uh… End?

, , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

Coworker: “Good morning. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yesterday the roses were buy-one-get-one-free.”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: “But now they’re $12.99 a piece.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. Yesterday they were buy-one-get-one-free.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “But today they’re $12.99 a piece.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. Yesterday they were buy-one-get-one-free.”

(And this went on for another seven minutes as the customer kept repeating the same thing over and over and the cashier answered, “Yes.” But she never asked a question… so we don’t know if she wanted to know why they were on sale for $12.99, or why they weren’t buy-one-get-one-free anymore.)

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Mama And Papa New Guinea

, , , , , | Friendly | October 17, 2017

(My friend lives alone in Canada and I live in the US. We spend all of our free time online chatting. She has recently purchased a baby poofy guinea pig as a pet, since her apartment building won’t allow cats or dogs. She has raised guinea pigs before, so she knows what to do. After a couple months, my friend sadly messages me.)

Friend: “I think my guinea pig is dying.”

Me: “Oh, no!”

Friend: “Yeah. She doesn’t move around at all anymore and hasn’t really eaten the past couple of days. I’ll message you later; I’m going for a walk.”

(My friend goes for a walk and then comes home, texting me.)

Friend: “Well, I think my guinea pig is doing better!”

Me: “Really? Awesome!”

Friend: “Yeah! She threw up a couple hairballs and now seems to have more energy.”

Friend: “Oh, God! The hairballs are breathing! It’s babies! She’s having babies! What do I do?!”

Me: “Aww! Let nature take over. She’ll know what to do.”

Friend: “I don’t know how to take care of babies!”

Me: “Relax!”

Friend: “BUT SHE WAS A BABY WHEN I GOT HER! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

(We discovered later that guinea pigs mate at a very young age if not separated quickly; the store had not separated them quickly enough!)

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