Off The Clock, Customer Block, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

Customer: “Are you guys open on Saturday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. We are open Monday through Friday from nine am to six pm.”

Customer: “Well, could you get someone to come in? I’m in a hurry and this really can’t wait all weekend.”

Me: “So, you want us to come in on our day off so we can work on your order?”

Customer: “Well, when you say it like that, you make me sound like I’m being a jerk.”

Related:
Off The Clock, Customer Block


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Has More Than A Few Issues

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2010

(A customer walks in with five magazines under her arm.)

Customer: “Hi, how much does it cost to laminate one A4 page?”

Me: “That’ll be $0.10.”

Customer: “Great and um, about how many pages are in a magazine?”

Me: “I’d say about 100.”

Customer: “Great, so 100 multiplied by five is 500 hundred right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “So 500 multiplied by $0.10 would be $50.00 right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yeah. So, can you, like, laminate each page in the magazine?”

Me: “Why would you want to do that?”

Customer: “So I can read them in the bath.”


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Taxing Faxing, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2010

Customer: “Can you make a copy of my fax papers?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Okay, now fax them.”

(I go over to the fax machine and send them; I come back with the papers.)

Customer: “I thought you were going to fax my papers?”

Me: “I just did.”

Customer: “Then why are the papers in your hands still?”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Customer: “When you fax something, it sends the papers to them instantly doesn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, because it scans them and sends it.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it sent the papers instantly to the number.”

Me: “Phone lines can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I didn’t need the copies, then. Do I still have to pay for them if I give them back to you to get rid of?”

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Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust

, , , | Right | April 14, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a copy of this photo, but I need one the people cropped out. “

(The customer hands me a photo of three men, arms around each other’s shoulders in front of a brick wall.)

Me: “Which one needs to be cropped out?”

Customer: “The guy in the middle.”

Me: “Well, we really can’t do that. That is more for a photo-refinishing artist.”

Customer: “Can’t you just erase the guy in the middle?”

Me: “We could, but then there would be a blank space were he once was. It would be pretty obvious.”

Customer: “Oh, you won’t just see the wall behind him if he is removed?”

Me: “No, the camera doesn’t take a picture of what is behind the person, just what you see.”

Customer: “What if it was a digital camera?”


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(Copyright) Piracy On The Seventy Seas

, , , | Right | March 3, 2010

Customer: “I’d like three copies of this photo, please.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but this we can’t copy this. It’s a professionally taken photo.”

Customer: “What?! It was taken on a cruise ship three years ago!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, but we’re not allowed to copy professional photos without the photographer’s consent.”

Customer: “It was taken on a cruise ship five years ago! What does the law have to do with anything!”

Me: “Sir, the government could fine us fifteen-thousand dollars for going against the copyright on those photos. The law gives the photographer legal ownership of those photos for seventy years.”

Customer: “Well, it’s been seven!”

Me: “I said seventy.”

Customer: “Well, seventy, then!”


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