(A customer asks for help in the self serve copy area, and as I’m trying to show him how to work the copier, he’s asking me questions.)

Customer: “How long have you worked here for?”

Me: *laughing* “Too long.”

Customer: “How long’s that?”

Me: “About four years.”

Customer: “Why don’t you go to school?”

Me: “I did go to school. It’s hard to find jobs in the career path you went to school for, especially in this area.”

Customer: “Why don’t you go back to school?”

Me: “I can’t afford it.”

Customer: “Well, are you a manager or something here?”

Me: “Nope, just full time.”

(I leave as soon as I’m done helping him, eager to stop talking about how I still work in retail. About six months later, I recognize the same man in line at my counter. He waits while I book in copy orders and ring through customers with items. Finally when it’s his turn, he doesn’t even have items or something to copy.)

Customer: “Hey, [My Name]! How’s it going?”

Me: “Fine, you?”

Customer: “Good! So you’re still here, eh? Have you been looking for other jobs?”

Me: “Kind of… I’m usually always looking for something that’s closer to my schooling.”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you get a job in [Nearby Large City]? There’s tons of jobs there!”

Me: “Because I don’t want to live in the city, or commute every day for work.”

Customer: “Well, that’s where the jobs are!”

Me: “I see.”

Customer: “Well, you should talk to a head-hunter! That’s their job, you know, finding other people jobs!”

Me: “That’s okay.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(After he leaves, my coworker comes up to me.)

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “A stranger who literally waited in line just to ask me why I’m still working here.”

(I work at a library’s copy store, a fairly large room within the main branch of the library. At the entrance of our store there are three huge copy-card dispensers – about the size of a cupboard – with a different slot for each way to pay: coins, banknotes, and credit cards. On every wall of our store, several A3-sized posters inform customers that they have buy cards to do their copies.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I paid and I didn’t get my card.”

Colleague: “Did you pay with credit card, bill, or coins?”

Customer: “Bill.”

(My colleague goes to the card dispenser with the customer.)

Colleague: “I’m truly sorry, sir, but it seems I can’t find your bill.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s because I didn’t put it there.”

(Then he pointed at the coin slot. And indeed, there was a tiny piece of paper sticking out of it: the corner of his banknote, folded in four…)

(A customer comes to me a wallet sized photo of a baby that was clearly taken in a studio.)

Customer: “Can you enlarge this for me?”

Me: “Oh, was this taken by a professional?”

Customer: “Yes, of cour— No. No, it wasn’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, without written permission from the photographer, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “I don’t care about copyright.”

Me: “I do. Company policy says that we can’t copy any professional photos.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t professional. The mother took it. Can you just show me how to do it in self-serve?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it looks professional, so I can’t assist you with it.”

Customer: “It’s not professional!”

Me: “It looks professional to me, so unfortunately, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Yes. I’m serious.”

Customer: *rudely* “Fine. Are you working tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “UGH! Fine, I’ll just buy this then.”

(I meet her at the register to ring up her item.)

Customer: *in a snotty, ‘I’m better than you’ tone* “Life is too short to follow the rules.”

Me: “It’s also too short to get fired.”

Customer: “I want to get these photos copied.”

Me: “Okay, I can copy these, but these ones here I can’t unfortunately, due to company copyright policy.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “This is a professional photo, so I can’t copy it without permission from the photographer.”

Customer: “Oh, no, you can copy it.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t.”

Customer: “But one of the people in that picture is dead now!”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that, but our company’s copyright policy is actually pretty strict; it goes until 50 years after the death of the photographer. I honestly don’t feel comfortable copying professional photos until they are at least 65 years old.”

Customer: “Well, this photo is 65 years old.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this picture isn’t that old. I can do these photos for you, though.”

(I go through the stack of pictures and find some school pictures, which I put aside.)

Me: “I can’t do these ones, though.”

Customer: “WHY NOT!”

Me: “Because these are also professional.”

Customer: “No! They’re school pictures!”

Me: “Yes, that would be professional.”

Customer: “But these people died in 1992!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean I can copy the picture.”

Customer: “YES, IT DOES!”

Me: “Maybe you didn’t understand me earlier when I said—”

Customer: “YES, I DID UNDERSTAND YOU!”

Me: “Then why are you telling me this person died in 1992? That doesn’t change the fact that the photographer has to be dead for 50 years before I can copy it.”

Customer: “THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS DEAD!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “Then why are you copying this one?” *points to a photo that looks like it was taken with a point and shoot*

Me: “Because it’s not professional.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! A photographer took that!”

Me: “Well, it didn’t look professional to me, but since you’ve told me that it is, I can’t copy it now.”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “NO! YOU CAN COPY IT!”

Me: “You JUST told me it was professional, after I JUST told you that I couldn’t copy professional photos.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager, then!”

Me: “Okay.”

(My manager proceeded to tell the customer EVERYTHING I had already said, and the customer yelled back at him everything he had yelled at me. He left in a huff.)

(I am the supervisor in the copy department of a retail chain. My department also handles shipping through a well-known third party shipping company. This company has been rather famously off the ball this holiday season and has missed several pick-ups at my store, which leads to irate customers yelling at me for something I have no control over. Finally our guy comes in for a pickup.)

Me: “There you are! Where were you yesterday? We were supposed to have a pickup. There are packages in there that were supposed to be DELIVERED today!”

Delivery Guy: “Well, uh… We were off for Christmas Day and Christmas Eve.”

Me: “I’m aware of that, but Christmas Day was Wednesday. It is now Friday. Where were you yesterday?”

Delivery Guy: “We were off Christmas Day and Eve.”

Me: “… I know. Neither of those days was yesterday.”

(He just shrugged, finished loading, and left. A week later, I was STILL fielding calls from people demanding refunds for items that were not delivered on time. Now, once a package left our store, any refunds/etc. were supposed to go through the shipping company, but our customers told us that when they called, they were told the fault was with our store!)