The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 3

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(A husband and wife come in to get wedding announcements made, which have multiple professional photos in the design.)

Me: “So these photos were clearly taken by a professional, right?”

Husband: “Yep.”

Me: “Okay, so I just need something in writing from the photographer saying that you are allowed to use the photos.”

Wife: “No, it wasn’t a professional. It was a family friend.”

Me: “I still need permission. Just something with the photographer’s signature saying you were given the digital files to print yourself, or something like that.”

Wife: “But it wasn’t a professional! It was a friend! She’s not a professional!”

Me: “She still holds the copyrights to the photos, unless she’s given you the rights to them. If she has, I need something in writing stating that.”

Wife: “No! She never takes pictures! She just did this for us once! That’s the only time she’s ever taken pictures!”

Me: “Wow, she’s really good at it.”

Wife: “I KNOW!”

Me: “Okay, well, I’m sorry, but without the permission, I can’t print them. But I can still book in the order for you today, and once we get the permission, I’ll go ahead and print them.”

Husband: “Well, if all she wants us is for to write down that we can print them, I’m sure we can get her to do that.”

Wife: “No! I’m not asking her to do that! Just print the pictures.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. But I’m sure she would be flattered if you tell her she needs to do that in order for us to print them.”

Wife: “No! She would be annoyed! She isn’t a professional photographer! She’s a land surveyor! She’s never done this before!”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. The photos are still copyrighted. If someone wrote a book for the first time and had another job, that wouldn’t mean their book isn’t copyrighted, just because they haven’t done it before, right? Same thing.”

Wife: “No! It’s not the same thing!”

(At this point, the next customer in line stepped in.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but she’s not going to print them without the permission. I’m a photographer and I give a release with my digital photos stating that they can be printed, because a lot of photographers charge per printed photo, and charge extra for a disc with the digital images.”

Husband: “We can get her to sign a thing for us.”

Wife: “No! We’ll just go somewhere else!”

Related:
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 2
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright

That Thing That Holds Jay-Pegs

| ON, Canada | Funny Names, Technology

Customer: “I need something printed off my ‘jee-pig’.”

Me: “Your what?”

Customer: “My ‘jee-pig’.” *holds up a USB flash drive*

Me: “Oooh… okay.” *I take it and put it in the computer*

Customer: “Why, is that not what it’s called?”

Me: “Umm, well I’ll be honest with you… I don’t think anyone will know what you’re talking about if you call it that.”

Customer: “Oh. What should I call it?”

Me: “A flash drive, memory stick, USB drive…”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Memory stick. Huh. I always thought it was called a ‘jee-pig.'”

A Turn-Up For The Books

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Books & Reading

(We are located in a mall, and for about five years, had a used book sale in the hallway right outside our store, with the money going to different charities every few months. With mall construction going on, we had to take it away.)

Customer: “Um, yeah, you used to have a book sale in the hall, but I don’t see any books anywhere.”

Me: “Yeah, we had to get rid of it, unfortunately.”

Customer: “So can I just give my books to you, then?”

Me: “No, we’re no longer doing the book sale.”

Customer: “So where do I take my books, then?”

Me: “Um, you can take them to the library, or I believe there is a used book store downtown you could take them to.”

Customer: “Ugh. I wanted to give them to you guys, though!”

Me: “Yes, but we no longer have a book sale.”

Customer: “Well, could I just put them on the floor in the hall?”

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because then there would just be books on the floor in the hallway.”

Doesn’t Even Read In Their Sleep

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls me over to the self-serve area.)

Customer: “Excuse me!? Doesn’t this thing work?”

Me: “Yes, of course it does.”

Customer: “Well the screen’s black and I’m pressing start and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “Did you press the ‘on’ button?”

Customer: “No. It should already be on! It’s not my job to turn it on!”

Me: “It is on; the copiers just go into sleep mode after a little while. The ‘on’ button wakes them up.”

(I point to the GIANT sign on the front of the copier that explains this while I talk to her.)

Customer: “Oh, are you kidding me? I don’t read things.”

Calling Corporate Just After This Call

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(At my store, the manager instituted a policy that if a customer is on their phone, we’re not to wait on them until they finish. A customer comes in, busy making a call on his phone, and per policy, we wait to service them.)

Customer: *after some time, angrily* “Excuse me? I’ve been waiting for five minutes! Is someone going to help me?”

Manager: “Sir, we’d be happy to help you as soon as you finish up with your call.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? I’m not hanging up my important call for you b****es!”

(The manager walks away. The rest of us don’t dare to go over to him again. After a while, the customer completely loses it.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this terrible customer service! I’m going to call corporate!”

Manager: *handing him a phone* “Here, I already dialed the number.”

(The customer became irate and left the shop. He never did put down his phone.)

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