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Taxing Faxing, Part 18

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m manning the copy center counter when a regular customer approaches. I’ve helped her before, but she doesn’t seem to recognize me. While I’m helping her, she stands next to our shipping kiosk and reads the list of items we’re not permitted to mail.)

Customer: “I need these documents faxed, please. Wouldn’t you know it? My fax machine at the office sends documents everywhere BUT that area code! I’ve even sent it to offices one city over!”

Me: “Wow, that’s—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Isn’t it? We’ve tried calling the machine’s tech support and everything! I’ll never understand. Does this sign REALLY have to tell people they can’t ship fireworks? What kind of idiot would try to ship fireworks!?”

Me: “Yeah, some pe—”

Customer: “I know, right!? Bunch of idiots trying to get around local laws or something.”

Me: “Looks like we’re all set here, ma’am. If you’ll just come over to the cash register with me, I can ring you up for ev—”

Customer: “Where am I supposed to pay for the fax service, dear? Can I pay here with you?”

Me: “Yes, the debit machine is right over here, by th—”

Customer: *tosses her card on the counter*

Me: “Card reader’s over here, ma’am. Did you want a bag for your papers?”

Customer: *peering at my name badge* “Oh! Your name’s [My Name]?! What a unique spelling! I love it!”

Me: “Thanks, ma’am, it’s—”

Customer: “You’ve been SO helpful! I never receive excellent service like this when I come in! Have a good day!”

Me: “You’re welcome; enjoy the rest of y—”

Customer: “I’m going over there to look at briefcases!”

(She wandered cheerfully off, and boy, was I glad she hadn’t asked me to show her anything else in the store!)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 17
Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15

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Just Look UPS

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a copy shop with a UPS ship center. I am putting a package together at the ship counter one day, when a customer comes up…)

Customer: “Do you guys do UPS here?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Why don’t you have a sign?!”

Me: *didn’t say a word, just turned around and pointed to the four foot by eight foot sign that was directly behind me advertising that we ship UPS*

Customer: “Oh.”

One Copy With Cream Cheese, Please

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work in a copy/print center and I work behind a counter that has five large copiers all around me and a twenty-foot wall sign that says “Copy and Print Center.”)

Customer: “Do you make copies here?”

Me: “Nope, I make bagels. Would you like one?”

Making It Rain Laminated Sheets

| Canada | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Technology

(An older gentleman approaches the counter, with an abrupt manner about him.)

Customer: “Do you do laminating here?”

Me: “Yep, sure do!”

(Before I can explain pricing or options or anything, he cuts me off:)

Customer: “Well, where is it? Is it a machine in self-serve, or do I have to give you the items, or what?”

Me: “Oh, it gets done here, behind the counter. What are you looking to get laminated today?”

(He reaches into his pocket and gets out his wallet. That’s not that unusual; people frequently get business cards or small wallet-sized photo laminated. However, instead of getting anything like that out, I see he’s opened the bill portion and is pulling out a $100 bill… and another… and another… and another, until he’s holding out ten $100 bills. He holds them out to me like it’s nothing, a strange smugness about him. In my surprise over it, it takes me a second to actually respond, but eventually I take a step back and hold my hands up and shaking my head;)

Me: “I… can’t laminate that.”

Customer: “What?! Well, why not? What’s wrong with it!”

Me: “It’s illegal for me to laminate any kind of currency.”

Customer: “What?! What do you mean? How is that possible? Just laminate it!”

Me: “Well, even if I COULD laminate it… It would get ruined in the machine… Like, it would melt. You know these bills are made of something similar to plastic, right? And the laminate sheet is its own sort of plastic. The heat from the machine would make the bills illegible.”

Customer: “What do you mean? Just run them through.”

Me: “The heat would ruin them. They would melt together with the plastic of the laminate sleeve, probably ‘bleeding’ and blurring…”

(I had no idea if that would happen or not, I just knew that they couldn’t go through the machine because they’d sustain some sort of damage, and also it is illegal. He looked entirely displeased and put out, but then shoved the bills back into his wallet and stormed away. I turned to my coworker who was with me at the time, looking at her in disbelief, and she shrugged.)

Coworker: “Maybe he had some big bill to pay, and he’s trying to be a smart-a** about it.”

A Cent-less Amount

| St. Clairsville, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “How much is it to copy something?”

Me: “Is it in color or black and white?”

Customer: “Black and white.”

Me: “It’s eleven cents.”

Customer: “How much is it for two copies?”

Me: “Twenty-two cents.”

Customer: “How much is it for five copies?”

Me: “Fifty-five cents.”

Customer:” How much is it for 10 copies?”

Me: “It’s still going to be eleven cents per copy.”

Customer: “Well, is there a break in the price after so many copies?”

Me: “Yes. After 1001 copies, the price goes down to ten cents a copy.”

Customer: “Oh, no! I just need two copies!”

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