(I don’t catch the first part of this conversation, but the gist of it is: My brother-in-law makes a comment to my niece, she makes a comeback, and is told off for it with this parenting gem.)

Sister: “I don’t care if you’re insulting, just so long as you’re witty! Now, something that might have made a better comeback..” *whispers into [Niece]’s ear*

Niece: “Okay. Daddy, can you say it again?”

Brother-In-Law: “[Niece], I have a bag here; I’d like you to put your attitude into it.”

Niece: “Silly Daddy, my attitude wouldn’t be able to fit.”

(At a “How To Get A Job” course, we’re talking about interviews and how to dress for them.)

Lecturer: “How do you know how to dress to suit a given job?”

Student #1: “You could call and ask.”

Student #2: *mimes holding a phone* “Hi. What are you wearing?”

(I have gotten some comments from a teacher on a paper I am writing, and see the start of one above a word, so I write an email with a question about it.)

Me: “Above the word ‘stability’ you have made a small doodle which looks like it could be either a dancing stick-figure or a drunk swastika.”

Teacher: “What an imagination!”