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He Saves The Princess In-The-End-o

| Friendly | August 10, 2015

(My friends and I are standing in line at an anime convention, and we happen to hear a conversation that the two people in front of us are having about New Super Mario Bros. Wii. In single player, if you die too many times, Luigi will appear and show you how to clear the stage. The girl in front of us, however, chose her words a bit poorly when describing it:)

Girl: “If you suck really hard, he’ll come.”

Suddenly Acquiring Twenty-Sided Vision

, , | Friendly | August 1, 2015

(I am running my third and final gaming event at the con. It is a superhero game where all the characters have powers based on mythological creatures. One of the players is new to role playing.)

Me: “It’s sort of like when we were kids and played cops and robbers or whatever. You each have a character and we say what your character does while playing the bad guys, the helpless citizens and the person sending you on these adventures.”

New Player: “So what are the dice and the rules for? You didn’t need rules as kids.”

Me: “Remember when you would get into those situations where someone would say ‘Bang, you’re dead,’ and the immediate response was ‘Nuh uh, I have a bullet proof vest,’ followed by ‘Well, I shot you in the head,’ then ‘You were aiming too low’? At which point it devolves into ‘Yes, you are!’ ‘No, I’m not!’ The rules keep that from happening at least as much as possible. Plus there’s the other thing.”

New Player: “What other thing?”

Me: “Eventually, you’re going to be playing one of these games and roll what that game considers to be a really high number. After all the other rolls you’ve seen it’ll make you feel like ‘Oooo, look how awesome I am.’  I mean it’s just an arbitrary number rolled on one or more dice in a make-believe game, but when it happens you’ll feel like the most awesome person in the room.”

(Later in the game the character she chose, a female marine with dragon based powers, decides to make a strafing run on the banshee-like aliens they’re fighting. She rolls to hit and gets the absolute best possible result.)

New Player: *without thinking about it* “Ooooooh!”

Rest Of The Table: “One of us. One of us. One of us.”

Isn’t Sew Obvious

| Friendly | July 29, 2015

(I am in line at a convention. Having anticipated a long wait, I brought supplies to finish a plushie I am nearly done with. At one point a woman approaches me:)

Woman: “Oh, how cute! Did you make that yourself?”

Me: *looks down at the leg I am sewing onto the plushie* “…why, yes.”

Oola Died Not In Vain

| Related | June 4, 2015

(I’m attending an event at a college campus where several Star Wars actors have been invited to talk about their experiences making the movies, answer questions, and sign autographs. Before the event kicks off the MC is asking Star Wars trivia questions, giving prizes to those who answer correctly. On a whim, he picks a girl who looks to be about six, sitting by her mother in the front row, and asks her a question.)

MC: “Okay, this little girl right here; let’s see if she knows this.*reads* “Who killed the green-skinned dancer in ‘Return of the Jedi?'”

Girl: “Uh…” *blank look*

Girl’s Mom: “Oola. Who killed Oola.”

Girl: *light-bulb goes off* “Oh! Jabba the Hutt!”

MC: “…Wow. Good job! Here’s your prize!”

(I got a chance to talk to the mom and daughter as we stood in line for autographs afterward, and she said her family encompasses three generations of geeks — Grandpa is a “Lord of the Rings” fan, and Mom has been raising the girl to love Star Wars. Way to go, Mom!)

Girls Who Like Girls Who Are Like Boys

| Friendly | May 22, 2015

(I’m 16, and a girl. However, I have short hair and wear baggy clothes that hide my figure. I get mistaken for a guy A LOT. I’m hanging out with two of my friends.)

Friend #1: “You have got to send me that picture of the guy in leather.”

Friend #2: “I still can’t believe she got you to take a picture with him!             ”

(Suddenly, two VERY pretty girls walk past us, giggling, and wave at me.)

Me: *has no idea what just happened*

Friend #2: “Oh. My. God. Those girls thought you were cute!”

Friend #1: “Well, she is a pretty convincing guy.”

Me: “No, wait, what?! I’m not even trying to look like a guy today!”