(The largest chain of convenience stores in our state has been switching over to a “kitchen” format, which I hate. They are trying to focus on food. To order the food, drinks, or frozen treats, one must punch in the order on a screen even though a person is standing right there on the other side of the counter. My first encounter with this system was over a year ago. I thought it was stupid and have not tried it again since. But the kids have asked me to pick up ice cream on the way home and theirs is only 79 cents a cone. Despite a person standing basically in front of me, I have to use the screen. I am not wearing my reading glasses.)

Option #1: “Food, coffee, frozen treat.” *frozen treat selected*

Option #2: “Ice cream, shake, sundae.” *ice cream selected*

Option #3: “Cone, cup.” *cup selected*

Option #4: “Select another, number, cancel.” *select another*

(Select another seemed a perfectly viable option so I pressed it without reading the other options. In all, I ordered three cones and a cup. Just as I finished the last order, the fellow behind the counter speaks.)

Employee: “Whoa! What are you trying to do?!”

Me: “I’m ordering three cones and a cup of ice cream.”

Employee: “Wait a minute! There’s a way easier way to do that! Look at this.”

(He comes around the counter, cancels my order and then:)

Option #1: “Food, coffee, frozen treat.” *frozen treat selected*

Option #2: “Ice cream, shake, sundae.” *ice cream selected*

Option #3: “Cone, cup.” *cup selected*

Option #4: “Select another, number, cancel.” *select number*

Option #5: “A numbers key pad screen pops up. He hits four then cancels then hits three, then hits select another. And proceeds to order the cup.”

Me: “So you just cancelled my order to show me how to do it faster when it basically took you the same amount of time thus doubling my wait?”

Employee: *blank stare*

(I walked out and stopped at a fast food place where I could talk to a person who not only took the order but filled it and handed me the ice creams in a cool little carrier. Sometimes technology is not the answer.)

(A customer comes in and roughly throws a rechargeable card on the desk.)

Customer: “Hey! Top-up!”

Me: “Okay, how much?”

Customer: “One hundred.”

(Then he slams a huge bag of coins on the desk, and throws all of the coins out of the bag.)

Me: “Wow, are you just trying to tell me you want to pay the money with all these cents?”

Customer: “Yes, and what’s the problem?”

Me: “Do you know you can only pay within 2 dollars in cents? That’s the law.”

Customer: “That’s the money. Are you just refusing to count the coins?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I got all these coins from here, and you are now refusing to take these back? Are you f****** kidding me?”

Me: “No one tells you not to spend your coins every time you got them from the store or someplace else, right? Did I or someone give you that much in once? Huh?”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care. Count it or not?”

(I refused to count the coins, and the customer just kept stalking around the store until my partner came by to help him.)

(Working at a chain convenience store, we accept bottle returns, recently raised to 10 cents each, on any product we sell in the store. A man has come in with two empty cans, which we accept, and his two children. He purchases four beverages with bottle deposits on them, and rather than giving him the 20 cents for his bottles, I just added that amount to his charge as a payment. This shows up on our receipts as a separate payment, very clearly. With four people still in line, he comes back into the store.)

Customer #1: “I brought in two cans.”

Me: “Yes, sir. I added the deposit amount as a payment on your charge.”

Customer #1: “But you charged me for four bottle deposits. You overcharged me.”

Me: “No, sir, you bought four drinks with bottle deposit on them. ”

Customer #1: “Right, but I brought to empties back.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Right here it shows where I credited you those two cans.”

Customer #1: “But you charged me for FOUR deposits!”

(As this conversation is going, two more people have joined the line, and since I’m the only one working, I rush through an explanation of how we handle bottle returns, and how being owed 20 cents doesn’t make the till take off 20 cents. He leaves shortly, but obviously still isn’t quite satisfied with the answer.)

Customer #2: “Wow.”

Me: “Sometimes people pay exactly the wrong amount of attention.”

(I work at a small convenience store in my fairly rural town. It’s a really casual work environment, especially on this Sunday afternoon where we haven’t seen anyone for the last 20 minutes. I’m on shift with the owner and a new girl on her second shift.)

New Girl: “It’s so hot! I’d kill for an ice cream right now.”

Me: “Mmm, yeah. Great idea. What type? I’ll go grab some.”

Manager: “I’d love a Cornetto.”

New Girl: “Oh, no, it’s okay. I don’t have any cash with me, anyway.”

Manager: “Cash? Hun, you don’t have to pay.”

New Girl: “But—”

Manager: “None of my employees have paid for food since I opened this shop. You’re not going to start.”

New Girl: “But—”

Manager: “Help yourself. Just don’t steal smokes or anything, yeah?”

New Girl: “Are you sure?”

Manager: “Yes!”

New Girl: “Uh…”

Manager: “Oh, just eat the god-d*** ice-cream!”

(A few years ago, I was working nights in a convenience store to earn a little extra money while I was in college. One evening, a lady pulls up on her motorcycle and comes inside to pay for a pack of cigarettes… entirely in change.)

Me: *counting out the change*

Customer: “Can you get on with it?”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but it’s store policy to verify the purchase amount.”

Customer: *disgusted noise*

(Finally, the purchase is squared away.)

Customer: “Also, can you give me directions to [Neighboring Town]?”

Me: “Of course! It’s only a few blocks to the turn, but there’s some construction on [Local Street #1] so you’ll have to make a detour onto [Local Street #2].”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *explains again, this time drawing a map on a spare piece of paper*

Customer: “Well, that makes no sense at all. You know, this is probably why you work at a place like this. You’re not smart enough to get a job anywhere else.”

(I was too stunned to reply before she left the store. For the record, I graduated in three years with a degree in microbiology.)