Like Popeye To Spinach

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s nearly closing and there are not many people as we’re in the suburbs, not the city. I watch a woman in her 20s stumbling in, looking really tired or drunk and all out of breath. She stumbles towards to the cashier.)

Woman: “Seaweed… seaweed… dried seaweed snacks.”

Cashier: “Second aisle near the middle.”

Woman: “Thanks.”

(The woman stumbled over, crashing into the first aisle before disappearing from view. A moment later the woman appeared holding several packages of dried seaweed snacks. One package nearly got dropped on the ground before she threw them on the checkout counter along with a bill. She then flopped on the ground opening one of the packages, and shoved as much seaweed as she could into her mouth. The cashier was now done ringing her up and tried handing her change, which she ignored for a while. As there was no one else paying the cashier just sat patiently. A few minutes later, the woman had eaten one entire package. She stood up, full of energy now, took the rest of her seaweed and change and left, walking out really fast. I still don’t know what I witnessed back there.)

You Gave Me Tuna Much

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Coworker: *to Manager* “We just got a customer complaint. He said we put two scoops of tuna on his sandwich instead of one.”

Me: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a customer complaining because they got extra!”

Manager: “I know, really!”

Has No Loyalty To Common Sense

| Reno, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “If that’s all today, your total is [amount].”

Customer #1: *slides card in card reader* “Why does it say card not recognized?”

Me: *looking at card* “Because that is for [Competing Chain]. We can’t take their cards.”

Customer #1: “Well, that’s stupid. You’re both gas stations. You should honor each other’s cards.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t make the rules; I just have to follow them. Do, you have another form of payment?”

Customer #1: “Fine.” *hands over cash*

(I ring up the next customer.)

Me: “If that’s all today, your total is [amount].”

Customer #2: “Oh, I have a loyalty card.”

Me: “Okay, just slide it in the card reader and we’ll see if you have any rewards saved up.”

(Customer #2 slides their card. I see an error message that it isn’t a valid account.)

Me: “Hmm, the card reader didn’t recognize it. Let me try to enter it manually.”

(Customer #2 hands me the card. It is for a grocery chain.)

Me: “Sir, this is a [Grocery Chain] card. We can’t take those here. Do you have a [Our Convenience Store] card?”

Customer #2: “What? But the card says I can use it at the gas station.”

Me: “Yes, at their gas station out front of their store. We can only take our own loyalty cards.”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s misleading.”

(… and this is why I’m incredibly grateful that my last day on that job was last week!)

The Birth Of Assumption

| East Falmouth, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(A guy comes in, buys his stuff by credit card, as I hand him his bags and receipt:)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “What? The h*** did you know?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “The f*** did you know it was my birthday? You see my ID in my wallet or something?”

Me: “Uh… sir? All I said was have a nice day.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Not ‘Happy Birthday?'”

Me: *trying VERY hard not to smirk* “…No.”

Customer: “Well, this day’s off to a good start…”

Me: *smiling sympathetically* “Have a nice day, sir. And Happy Birthday.”

The Cigarettes Are All Smoke And Mirrors

| Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A customer comes up to the counter and is looking at the cigarette display over my shoulder.)

Customer: “Do you have any [Brand] menthols?”

(I look over my shoulder at that exact brand/flavor then give the customer a sidelong glance. I usually bite my tongue in this sort of situation but I’ve had a long day and can’t resist.)

Me: *grin* “Nope, sorry, those are a figment of your imagination.”

Customer: *pauses then laughs* “I set myself up for that, didn’t I?”

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