(The convenience store where I have been working for about a year and a half is sold and the new owner decides to keep me for my regular opening shift. I am glad to have new bosses because the last boss/owner was hard to work for and one of the other employees never did anything because she was friends with the owners. This story happens about two weeks after the new bosses take over.)

Boss: “Somebody has been bringing all their garbage and throwing it in our dumpster after we close. Let’s go out here and go through the bags and see if we can find some mail or something with their name on it.”

Me: “Okay, do we have any gloves?”

Boss: “No, just wash your hands when we’re done.”

(We go to the dumpster and open several bags, going through them and getting really nasty and wet doing it. Finally, after about twenty minutes of searching, we get a clue.)

Me: “Here’s an empty cigarette carton.”

(It’s a brand that we only sell to one customer. She’s in once a week to get two cartons of those cigarettes.)

Me: “It has to be her. Nobody else buys these.”

Boss: “Maybe, but just to be sure, keep looking.”

(We dig through bags for about ten more minutes when my boss finds something.)

Boss: “Here it is. It’s [Regular Customer] mail with her name on it.”

Me: “Good, are we done? Her brand of cigarettes and her mail. Are you going to tell her to stop?”

Boss: “No, better not. She spends a lot of money here. I’ll figure out something.”

(After all of the crap we went through and as dirty as we got, then he decided to let it go. After three more weeks of her filling our dumpster, he finally got a lock and that solved the problem. I worked for him for another year before I finally quit.)

(I am the customer here. The convenience store I go to can’t break a $50 and I don’t have any other cash. I go to the tobacco store next door.)

Me: “Hey, can you break a $50 for me? They didn’t have change next door.”

Cashier: “Yeah, what did you want to buy there?”

Me: “Just two packs of [Cigarettes].”

Cashier: “Well, you can buy those here.”

Me: “Yeah, but they’re cheaper next door…”

(It suddenly dawns on me how terrible I’m being.)

Me: “Can I just have two packs of [Cigarettes]?”

(My boyfriend has traveled to America to visit me. While checking out at a shop, he and the cashier are making conversation about that.)

Cashier: “So, what brings you to America?”

Boyfriend: “Him.” *points at me*

Cashier: “That’s nice. Are you planning on doing anything special here?”

Boyfriend: “Not really. I’m just going to relax and spend some time with my sweetie.”

Cashier: “Ooh, did you meet a cute girl here?”

Boyfriend: “No, him.” *points at me again*

Cashier: “…”

Cashier: “OHHHH.”

(We all laughed about it.)

(I work in a convenience store. You meet all kinds of weird or dumb people but this one, in particular, can’t grasp the simplest concept. This lady comes up with two two-liter sodas, both of which are part of a deal where you get both for one sale price, but they can’t be mixed and matched; they must be made by the same company.)

Coworker: “Your total is [amount].”

Customer: “That isn’t right; it should be [Sale Price]. Fix it. The sign says it’s [total].”

(I look over to see she has a bottle of [Soda #1] and a bottle of [Soda #2]. Anyone who knows anything about soda knows there are two major manufacturers. The sale doesn’t work with one of each.)

Customer: “Why isn’t it giving me the sale price?!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are two separate brands of soda made by two different companies. The sale price only applies to two sodas from the same company.”

Customer: “That’s just ridiculous! They both say two for [total]! I want that price.”

(This went back and forth for a while and we didn’t want to keep dealing with her, so we overrode the price to get her out of our hair. All this was over less than a dollar.)

(I’m waiting in line at a small convenience store and witness this interaction between a customer and the cashier. Note that this entire conversation happens with absolutely no inflection or tone in either of their voices, just completely monotonous.)

Cashier: “Hey.”

Customer: “Hey.”

(The cashier takes a few seconds to scan his items.)

Cashier: “Donate?”

Customer: “Same.”

(“Same as usual,” I guess?)

Cashier: “I forgot.”

Customer: “Two.”

(The cashier chooses a $2 donation.)

Cashier: “Card.”

Customer: *swipes card*

(The cash register takes a few seconds to run the transaction.)

Cashier: *holding up the receipt and a bag* “Want?”

Customer: “Nah. Bye.”

Cashier: “Bye.”

(I walk up to the register, and it looks like the cashier flips a switch suddenly.)

Cashier: *to me* “Hi, how are you today? Did you find everything?”

Me: “I’m fine, but what was up with that guy? Do you know him or something?”

Cashier: “Oh, he’s a regular that comes in almost every day. He’s not one for small talk, and I usually prefer not to make conversation if I can help it, so we decided to just be as blunt as possible. It lets him do his own thing faster, and it helps me get out of my nice, friendly cashier personality for a few minutes.”

(10/10, would buy things there again, if only for the antisocial cashier!)