A Totally Bear-able Time Of Year

| NH, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a convenience store that sells coffee in different flavors. One of my regulars comes in every day and gets a pot of blueberry coffee, so I nickname her Ms. Blueberry, and make sure to always have that flavor ready when she comes in. We have just gotten a shipment of St. Jude charity plush bears for the holidays.)

Ms. Blueberry: *holding up a bear* “This is cute!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re really soft, and for a good cause. A portion of the proceeds goes to the St. Jude Children’s Fund. I’m considering getting one some time.”

Ms. Blueberry: “That so? Just the coffee today.”

(She puts the bear down, pays for her coffee, and enjoys a bit more banter, then leaves. The next day, she’s back as usual. She brings her coffee to the counter and puts one of the bears up with it.)

Ms. Blueberry: “This, too.”

Me: “All right, your total is [total].”

Ms. Blueberry: *handing me her total* “The bear’s for you. Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Really? Wow, thank you!”

(I didn’t stay at that job much longer, but seeing my regulars, especially her, made the job more bearable [pardon the pun] and even, at times, enjoyable. I named the bear Blueberry, and I still have him!)

I Decline To Comment

| Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(I’ve just scanned the shopping of a customer and he is paying with his card. However, the transaction doesn’t go through. This usually means that the customer’s card has been declined, although occasionally we have brief connection issues with our system, so we always give it a second try.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The transaction hasn’t gone through.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Well, sometimes it’s a brief problem with our connection rather than your card. We’ll give it another go and see.”

Customer: “Hmmm… okay.”

(We go through the process again, however it doesn’t go through. My card machine is still functioning normally, and my colleagues are still able to use their card machines, meaning that the system is not down. It is definitely a problem with his card.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, sir, but your card isn’t working. Do you have any other method of payment?”

Customer: “What? What’s wrong with your machines?”

Me: “There doesn’t appear to be any issue with our system, sir. I’m afraid it’s very likely to be a problem with your card.”

Customer: “It can’t be. Try again.”

(We try again, but it doesn’t work. However, he insists the problem is on our end. I move him onto my colleague’s till, but it isn’t accepted again.)

Colleague: “I’m really sorry, sir, but your card has been declined again.”

Customer: “Why is it being declined?”

Me: “It could be any number of reasons, sir. You’d have to contact your bank.”

Customer: “No! I want you to tell me! Why won’t you take my card?!”

Me: “Sorry, sir?”

Customer: “Tell me what it says on your screen! Tell me why you won’t take my card!”

Me: “All it tells me is that your card is declined, sir, I don’t know the reason. You’d have to contact your bank.”

Customer: “That’s crap! I’m not leaving until you tell me why my card is declined! I’m flying out to Afghanistan tomorrow! I’ve had this all day, I don’t need this, and I’m sick of it!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, did you say you’d had this all day?”

Customer: “Yes! Every shop I go into, they won’t take my card and they won’t tell me why! I’m flying to Afghanistan in twelve hours! I don’t need this!”

Me: “…Ok, sir, you really need to contact your bank.”

(He eventually left  to go and talk to his bank, still muttering that we “must know why; it will say on the screens.” We spotted him in store just a couple of days later, so I’m not sure why he insisted he was going to Afghanistan.)

Trying To Charge Of Taking A Charge

| Leicestershire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(Recently, a minimum 5p charge for plastic bags has been rolled out across the country. A rumour that it’s illegal to charge for bags because they have stores’ logos on them (and therefore advertise the store) has been making the rounds.)

Me: “Do you need a bag?”

Customer: “I’m fine, mate. I’ll just carry them.”

(After I ring him up and pile his purchases on the counter in front of him he points to a plastic bag I have ready on the counter.)

Customer: “It has the [Store] logo on it. That means it’s illegal to charge!”

Me: “By that logic, wouldn’t it be illegal for Apple to charge for any of their products?”