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Game, Set, And Matches

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular, Underaged

(I work in a store that was recently stung by the local P.D. and failed a decoy operation. The offending employee was fired, fined, given a court date, and charged with a criminal offense. This resulted in a huge crackdown on our ID policy from management. A young woman comes in and asks me for a free pack of matches.)

Me: “Sure, but I’m going to need to see your ID.”

Customer: “What? For matches?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it’s considered the same thing as purchasing a lighter.”

Customer: “I don’t have my ID.”

Me: “I can’t give you matches, then. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I was just in here last week. You don’t remember me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Do you just not have a memory?”

(At this point I’m kind of stricken by her rudeness and general demeanor. She’s obviously getting extremely upset about me not giving her a pack of matches.)

Me: “I see hundreds of people every week, ma’am. I can’t remember every single one of them.”

Customer: “You are very rude! Why are you being so mean to me?”

Me: “How am I being rude? I could lose my job for not asking for ID.”

Customer: “You’re making me feel stupid!”

(At this point her attitude changes completely and she actually begins to cry.)

Customer: “PLEASE just give me the matches! Why are you doing this to me?”

Me: “I can’t. Someone just lost their job and has to go to court because they didn’t ID a customer.”

Customer: “F*** you! I will be speaking to your manager!”

Me: “So you’re going to complain to my manager about me doing my job?”

(She ran out, still crying. She did show up complaining about me to my manager. This resulted in my manager backing me up for doing my job. She thankfully hasn’t returned.)

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Must Be Another Trump Supporter

| Cornwall, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Politics

(I am working a busy evening shift in my local village store. Normally our customers are fine but every now and then, one comes in drunk. My till is right by the newspapers.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. Having a nice night?”

Customer: *nodding at the papers* “They should just nuke them.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Those d*** terrorists. We should just nuke them.”

Me: “Er… I’m not sure that would be a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, for one, terrorists organisations aren’t exactly in one particular location like a country, and two, it’s never a good idea to drop nuclear weapons.”

Customer: “We should f***ing nuke them!”

Me: “Very good, sir. You have a nice night.”

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Trash-Talking Hits The Bottom Of The Barrel

, | Malden, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in a city where the people have to buy city trash-bags that are expensive. We had to get rid of our trash barrel from outside the store because people started throwing away their home trash in it.)

Customer: *walking in with bag full of trash* “Do you have a barrel so I can throw away my trash?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we had to get rid of it.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “Because people started to bring their home trash to our store and leave it around our barrel because they didn’t want to buy city bags.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Where am I supposed to throw away my trash?”

Me: “At home with your city bags?”

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That’s One Serious Chip On Your Shoulder

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

Me: “Please use our new chip reader.”

Customer: “I hate these chip reader things. I hate it more than genocide.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yeah, genocide doesn’t affect me, like the chip does.”

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Worse Than The Yes Men Are The Yes/No Men

| Banbury, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(It’s a late night shift, Friday, around nine pm. It’s fairly quiet tonight and I don’t have much to do. After a while occupying myself around the store a heavily-accented Eastern European man comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “Scotch whiskey?”

Me: “Yup, we have a selection of spirits behind the counter.”

(I turn to show him the cabinet behind me.)

Me: “For scotch whiskeys we have [Brand #1]—”

Customer: *interrupting, in a panicked tone* “NO!”

(I pause, expecting him to continue or elaborate, after a moment he seems to relax.)

Me: “[Brand #2]?”

Customer: *seemingly scared* “NO!”

(Pause again.)

Me: “[Brand #3?]”

(He nods; I take the bottle and scan it through.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

(He displays a card inserts it into the machine. We go through the steps and come to entering his PIN code. He presses three numbers then stares at me.)

Me: “Your PIN code should be four numbers.”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You only pressed three.”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *baffled* “You should have pressed four numbers, then the enter key.”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: *starting to see where this is going* “You should have pressed five buttons in total. Four numbers, then the green enter key.”

Customer: “Yes.”

(This continued for a while. A queue of angry and confused customers was starting to build. After several minutes of this same back-and-forth he eventually huffed and said something I couldn’t understand, threw up his hands and walked out and left the bottle behind.)

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