Need To Reorient Your Priorities

| PA, USA | Romantic | June 1, 2016

(It’s Easter Sunday, so the store I work in is basically empty. I’m chatting with my female co-worker when our supervisor’s boyfriend comes in to bring him dinner. After a brief introduction, they leave for the back.)

Coworker: “Oh, my god, he’s so hot.”

Me: “I know.”

Coworker: “It’s too bad he’s gay.”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “And that I have a boyfriend.”

Me: “I love how that’s the second problem you saw.”

Gangsta Needed To Get Spanked

| Jefferson City, MO, USA | Right | May 24, 2016

(I am working a 12-hour day since two other employees are on vacation. I am on my final hour, and have just finished with some “wannabe gangstas,” who are very rude and obviously drunk. I go check on another customer.)

Me: *sighs* “Hello. Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *in her mid-20s* “Yeah. Sorry about them.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, my parents disciplined me when I was younger so I grew up with a condition called ‘respect for others.’”

Game, Set, And Matches

| USA | Right | May 18, 2016

(I work in a store that was recently stung by the local P.D. and failed a decoy operation. The offending employee was fired, fined, given a court date, and charged with a criminal offense. This resulted in a huge crackdown on our ID policy from management. A young woman comes in and asks me for a free pack of matches.)

Me: “Sure, but I’m going to need to see your ID.”

Customer: “What? For matches?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it’s considered the same thing as purchasing a lighter.”

Customer: “I don’t have my ID.”

Me: “I can’t give you matches, then. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I was just in here last week. You don’t remember me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Do you just not have a memory?”

(At this point I’m kind of stricken by her rudeness and general demeanor. She’s obviously getting extremely upset about me not giving her a pack of matches.)

Me: “I see hundreds of people every week, ma’am. I can’t remember every single one of them.”

Customer: “You are very rude! Why are you being so mean to me?”

Me: “How am I being rude? I could lose my job for not asking for ID.”

Customer: “You’re making me feel stupid!”

(At this point her attitude changes completely and she actually begins to cry.)

Customer: “PLEASE just give me the matches! Why are you doing this to me?”

Me: “I can’t. Someone just lost their job and has to go to court because they didn’t ID a customer.”

Customer: “F*** you! I will be speaking to your manager!”

Me: “So you’re going to complain to my manager about me doing my job?”

(She ran out, still crying. She did show up complaining about me to my manager. This resulted in my manager backing me up for doing my job. She thankfully hasn’t returned.)

Beginning To See The Reason For The Breakup

| USA | Romantic | May 17, 2016

(I’m a 19 year old female, working alone. A male comes in, and ask to use the bathroom. I give him the keys and he looks up at me. His expression lights up like he’s seen an angel and he can’t take his eyes off of me. I’m nervous, because it’s three am and he’s much older than me, probably in his 50s.)

Man: “I’m going to to the bathroom, but I’ll be coming back to see YOU!” *points at me and runs off*

Me: “Oh… kay….”

(I hide out in the back room. After a short time, I see him rush back out, looking around. Another customer comes in needing help, so I have to come out again. Once the other customer leaves, the older man grins, excited.)

Man: “There you ARE! I was looking! For you! Where were you?!”

Me: “Oh. I was in the back. Is there, um, anything—”

Man: “I’ve had a terrible night. My girl broke up with me and…”

(He tells me about this awful breakup, and that his now ex stole his stuff, all he wanted was a good girl, and that “maybe” I could be her, and how women were terrible for breaking up with him. He was babbling away and I was nodding, hoping he’d go away. Finally he stops and looks at me with that lit up expression again.)

Man: “How old are you?”

Me: “19.”

Man: “Oh… well, it’s okay. I’m too old. You’re an angel, you know that? I saw an angel today, and that’s you. Thank you for listening. Bye, angel.”

Me: “Uhhh… bye.”

(I felt happy that I had helped him feel less lonely, but I was more happy that he left.)

Put That In Your Pipe And Drink It

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | May 11, 2016

(The difference in age for buying cigarettes and alcohol is three years, and I am 19 at this time, I had a lot of issues because of it, but this one was the funniest.)

Me: “May I get [pack of Cigarettes]?”

Worker: “Do you have ID?”

Me: “Yes, I do.” *hands her ID*

Worker: “This says you’re under 21.”

Me: “I am.”

Worker: “Then, why would I sell to you?”

Me: “Those are cigarettes, not alcohol.”

Worker: “Oh, oops.”

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