Whistling With A Specific Porpoise

| USA | Right | August 24, 2015

(I work as a cashier. It’s a slow Monday, so I’m at the front tidying up shelves. A woman wearing dark sunglasses and holding the harness of a dog comes walking in and stops about five feet from the door.)

Me: “Hello!”

Woman: “Hello!” *starts whistling loudly and walks a few more feet into the store* “Mom!”

Me: *raise eyebrows*

Woman: *sees me looking at her* “It’s okay. We have echolocation!” *starts whistling loudly again*

(After a few more seconds, nobody has answered her whistling.)

Woman: “Nope. Not this store.”

What A Harasshole

| OK, USA | Romantic | August 21, 2015

(It is a very busy afternoon. My younger coworker and I are trying to power through long lines as quickly as possible. She begins helping a man and I overhear some of the conversation. It starts with a normal “where are you from?”, and then quickly progresses.)

Customer: “Let me get your number.”

Coworker: “No, thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, come on.”

Coworker: “No, thank you. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

(The customer proceeds to pester her with questions, asking if she has a boyfriend. When she replies that she has a girlfriend, he gets more persistent.)

Customer: “I know her. She won’t mind.”

(I have cleared my customers and fully turn my attention to him.)

Me: “Sir, I am her girlfriend and I do mind. Please stop asking.”

Customer: “Nah. How do you know she’s not my sister?”

Me: “Sir, I honestly hope she’s not because that’s frowned upon here.”

Customer: “I was just playing. If she’d just give me her number—”

Me: “Sir, you are harassing my underage employee. I must ask you to leave. If you refuse, I will be forced to call the police.”

(When he told her that he’d be back to ask again when she’s alone, I stand between them and promise that she won’t be. A week later, he came in again. That coworker wasn’t scheduled, but our main manager was present. I mentioned that it was the same guy and she followed him to his car. His wife was with him and threatened to sue for falsely accusing her husband – at least until we pulled up the cameras and had proof of him doing it.)

Just Say No

| Edmonton AB, Canada | Friendly | July 31, 2015

(This takes place one summer afternoon while my boyfriend and I (we are both guys) are leaving a nearby convenience store. A group of young teens comes running up to us.)

Member Of The Group: “Hey… umm, could you guys by chance get us some cigs?”

My Boyfriend: “Naw, sorry. Can’t really risk it with how hard they are cracking down on that kinda thing.”

Female Teen: “Awww come on. If you do it, I’ll show you my t**s!”

Boyfriend & Me: “Hahahaha naw sorry. We’re kinda gay.”

Male Teen: *without missing a beat* “W… well I’ll show ya my d*** then!”

(We ended up just saying no.)

Your Card Is A Smoking Gun

| OK, USA | Right | June 26, 2015

(I am a cashier at a local convenience store. Normally, I am very sweet and friendly, but today I am having a bad day. Not only did I have a full truck of inventory to check in and put away, but I also have three sections of the store to reset. A man comes in in the midst of the chaos and grabs a few bags of chips, some sandwiches, and several sodas. He goes to the register clearly marked as closed, moves all of my paperwork over, and continues to talk on his cell phone. I smile anyway, taking all of his items and moving them to the open register.)

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: *silence*

(I ring up all of his food and place it neatly in bags.)

Me: “That’ll be $12.36.”

(The customer reaches into his pocket and pulls out a food stamp card. It looks as if it has been melted. Half is missing.)

Customer: “It won’t read, so you have to punch in the numbers. The first ones are-”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I cannot legally accept damaged cards.”

Customer: “They do it all the time at the other store.”

(When I refuse again, he becomes visibly upset.)

Customer: “Fine, just give me some smokes.”

(It is store policy to ask anyone who looks under 40 for their state ID when buying tobacco or alcohol. It must be not be damaged or expired.)

Customer: *hands me the id*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your ID expired in 2011. Do you have another?”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!” *storming towards the door* “I’m thirty-f******-two years old and—”

Me: “Than act like it, sir. Your tobacco is not worth my job.” *smiling as sweetly as ever* “Have a nice day, sir. Stay safe today.”

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R2-Dum Too

| LA, USA | Right | June 15, 2015

(It’s a really slow night so I pull a crochet project out of my bag and sit off to the side of the counter in the break area so that I can work on it. A customer walks in and points at it.)

Customer: “What you making?”

Me: “A hat for my boyfriend.”

Customer: “That’s a funny color pattern.”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s not finished. When it’s done it’ll look like this.”

(I show him the pattern’s photos, which is for an R2-D2 hat, and he wrinkles his nose.)

Customer: “Is he a kid?”

Me: “No, he’s not.”

Customer: “Is he actually going to wear that thing?”

Me: “Yes, because he specifically asked me to make it for him.”

Customer: *makes a disgusted face* “Ugh! So he’s a geek!”

Me: “Yes, he is. And your point is?”

Customer: *condescendingly* “He’s a nerd.”

Me: “Yes, and so am I. Again: what’s your point?”

Customer: *throws up his hands* “He’s a nerd! A geek!”

(The customer kept saying that over and over again as he picked up the items he had come to purchase. I’ll never understand people that think being geeky/nerdy is a bad thing. At least my boyfriend likes nerdy handmade things he gets.)

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