Toys We ‘R’ Not

| IN, USA | Right | May 18, 2015

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *in a strong accent* “I’m lookin’ for Taggers!”

Me: “Taggers?”

Caller: “Yes, I need some Taggers and I know ya had ’em last year, I want ’em for Easter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have bad hearing. Could you spell that for me?”

Caller: “What’s so hard about Taggers?” *sighs* “T-a-g-g-e-r-s; Taggers!”

Me: “Taggers?”

Caller: “Yes! Giant, stuffed, plush Taggers!”

Me: “Oh, tigers!”

Caller: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t get any in this year.”

Caller: “Well do you know who might have them?”

Me: “Toys R Us?”

Caller: “Great idea! I’ll give you my number.”

Me: “Number?”

Caller: “You know, my phone number!”

Me: “Why would you give me your phone number?”

Caller: *sigh* “So you can call them and then tell me if they have any!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t dial out, but you have a nice day and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

(I quickly hung up the phone and my manager laughed at me, until he answered the phone. It was the same woman calling back, wanting us to see if ‘Toys R Us’ had her Taggers.)

Giving His Leg A Clean Break

| WI, USA | Right | April 29, 2015

(Every month a cleaning company comes into our business to buff the tile floors. It is about 9:45 and we close at 10:00 so the last minute rush has begun. A middle-aged man enters and notices the cleaning crew mopping the floors.)

Man: *dramatically falls landing on his leg* “Ow! My leg! Why didn’t you tell me the floor was wet?” *followed by more moans of agony*

Me: “Sir, we have a problem.”

Man: “Of course we have a d*** problem! I just broke my f****** leg!”

Me: “Well… they haven’t even cleaned this side of the store yet.”

(Suddenly his yells of pain are silenced. Then, he stands up on his ‘broken leg’ and quickly darts out the door. But I did receive applause from both the other customers and the cleaning crew!)

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Drunk With Managerial Power

| USA | Working | April 28, 2015

(I work in a convenience store that takes money orders at the customer service desk. The company we do them through isn’t cooperating that day, and my manager has just phoned them for the third time when he gets paged to assist one of the front registers.)

Manager: *SIGH*

Me: “Do you want me to just take your key? If it’s just a void or something, I can do that while you fight with these people.”

Manager: “Yeah, would you? My numbers are [numbers].”

(I take the manager key, which is required for price changes, voiding any merchandise priced higher than $5, and in this case, authorizing rain checks. We have to page the managers for almost everything, and have to sit there and wait for them to show up while the customers stew. It turned out the customers in this case want a rain check for an item we no longer carried.)

Me: *to everyone up front before heading back to my own department* “I’ve got the manager key if anyone needs it. Just page me to whatever register.”

(Nobody else needs the key, and eventually the manager pages me back to customer service so I can return it to him. I go back to talk to a coworker up front with a pout.)

Me: “My brief reign of power is over.”

Coworker: “And it was surprisingly peaceful!”

I Can Put On My Own Pants And Everything

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Right | April 25, 2015

(A customer comes in to buy a pack of cigarettes. He looks under-age.)

Me: “Can I see some ID please?”

Customer: “I don’t have to show ID. C’mon, I’m wearing snowpants!”

(Ironically enough there was a young boy about four-years-old standing in line behind him wearing… snowpants.)

Has A No-Drinking Problem

| Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwick, England, UK | Working | April 6, 2015

(I’m working behind the tills, and it’s getting close to the end of my shift. I started getting thirsty not one hour in, and after three hours I’m absolutely parched. The next customer rolls in, and I try to concentrate.)

Me: “Hi, would you like a drink?”

Customer: “…What?”

Me: *penny drops* “Oh, god! I meant would you like a bag!”

(The customer and I share a laugh, I try to explain myself, and she encourages me to get some water. I do exactly that, the minute that I’m able.)

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