Another Bloody Know-It-All

| USA | Working | March 26, 2016

(I clock in for the morning shift. I’m working the typical shift on the register of a cashier who has been with the company since the 80s. She firmly believes she knows everything about the store… and everything in general. Customers deliberately avoid her line sometimes for her loud, bossy, know-it-all attitude. She also says ‘ya know’ at the end of every sentence. I reach my register, and both the cashiers and the head manager are conversing about something that must have been exciting.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name], you missed it.”

Me: “What happened?”

Coworker #1: “I rang up an elderly man about a half-hour ago, and when he turned his head, I saw the back of his skull had been gashed open and was bleeding profusely. I asked him about it, and he had no idea what I was talking about!  [Manager] called for an ambulance while the man demanded me to get him mirrors so he could see this ‘supposed’ gash. The paramedics stitched him up and strongly offered to either drive him home or to the hospital, but he refused. During the time they were tending to him, he conjured three different stories as to how it happened. He also repeatedly said he had to pick up his girlfriend from a local health campus, then an assisted living center down the street, and then it was the health campus again. Since they couldn’t physically keep him from driving, they had to let him go.”

(I am amazed, but start my shift. Later, Coworker #1 gets back after being on the phone.)

Coworker #1: “Okay, so we have a development in the story. Apparently he went from here to his doctor’s office, not about his head, just to order a refill on a prescription. This is from the nurse there who called our pharmacy about the script. He got to the doctor’s office, started bleeding again, blatantly refused treatment OR a ride, proceeded to get into an accident right near the office.”

(We’re all astounded at the stubbornness of this customer. At this point a different manager has leaned in, hearing us talk about the story. He shakes his head as he looks over at me and my register, which is usually manned by that know-it-all cashier during this time of day.)

Manager: I’m just glad [Know-it-all Cashier] wasn’t here today, because she would have been sitting there trying to tell the paramedics how to do their jobs.”

Me: “Oh, my god, you’re right. ‘You gotta stop the bleeding, ya know? You gotta put pressure on it, ya know? You gotta stitch him up, ya know?'”

Manager: “I would have paid good money to watch them, with all of their years of schooling and actual expertise, just tell her to shut the f*** up. God knows I’ve always wanted to.”

Should Have Been A Smoothie Transaction

, | USA | Working | March 18, 2016

(I stop at a gas station/convenience store on my lunch break to buy a kind of pre-packaged smoothie that you blend yourself. It’s a Thursday so I just got paid; I’ve had trouble in the past with my bank randomly putting holds on my paychecks, so with things like these smoothies, I always pay before preparing just in case it won’t go through.)

Me: “Hi. Just this, please.”

Employee: *picks up smoothie and looks at it* “This isn’t blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: *sets it down in front of me without ringing it in* “It’s not blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: “You have to blend it.”

Me: “…I know. I’ll blend it after I pay.”

Employee: “…”

Me: “So… can I buy this?”

Employee: “It’s not blended.”

Me: “Okay. I…” *I point to myself* “will blend…” *I swirl my hands around each other* “this smoothie…” *I point to the smoothie* “AFTER I pay.” *I wave my card toward the reader* “Okay?”

Employee: *skeptically* “Okay, but it’s not blended.”

(I have to take a few deep breaths before I can respond.)

Me: “I think I can handle the consequences of that, thanks.”

(He finally rings it through and I pay, then go blend my smoothie. As I walk out, I hear the employee shout with great revelation:)

Employee: “Oh! Well, you should’ve said you’d blend it once you’d paid.”

(It took all my self-control to not throw myself or the employee into traffic.)

Should Read The Labels With A Sniper’s Vision

| USA | Working | March 9, 2016

(I work at a pharmacy and convenience store that also handles movie rentals. We cater to an older demographic, which is far more likely to rent movies than stream them. For whatever reason, people have been asking for the movie ‘American Sniper’ since January. It is finally set to release in May, so there is a spot for it on the wall, and many customers have come to my counter demanding to know if any copies have been returned and are available to rent.)

Customer: “I’d like American Sniper, please.”

Me: “Sorry, that isn’t out just yet.”

Customer: *immediately takes a snobby tone* “Yes, it is! There’s a SPOT for it!”

Me: “I know. Every movie tag has the release date on it so people can see when it actually comes out.”

Customer: “I know it’s out! I’ll show you!”

(The customer then proceeds to storm back toward the movies and hover over the section where the American Sniper tag would be. I watch him read the actual release date, which is May 19th. Note, this is May 3rd. The customer turns and stomps out without another word. Later on, one of the managers is browsing the movies and brings up a few jackets to rent.)

Manager: “Hey, did anyone return American Sniper?”

Me: “Really?!”

Manager: *is startled and looks over at the paper displaying all the titles being released by date* “OH, MY GOD, I was just one of THOSE customers, wasn’t I?”

Me: *laughing* “Yes, you definitely were. This is why we read ALL the helpful words. Though, I guess we can’t expect the customers to when even the managers don’t!”

That’s One Serious Chip On Your Shoulder

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Right | February 24, 2016

Me: “Please use our new chip reader.”

Customer: “I hate these chip reader things. I hate it more than genocide.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yeah, genocide doesn’t affect me, like the chip does.”

Don’t Bet Your Bottom Dollar On Them

| TX, USA | Friendly | February 19, 2016

(I have just gotten home from school and I had a pretty rough day, so I decide to use the $20 that my mother had given me a while ago to buy some snacks. While I’m walking down the street to the store, I see three men who look like high-schoolers. I only have one $20 bill.)

Guy #1: “Hey, excuse me but do you have a dollar I could have?”

Me: *looking back but still walking* “No, I’m sorry but I don’t.”

Guy #2: “Do you have 25¢?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

(At this point they give up and begin to walk along however they’re still staring at me as I walk up to the store. I’m about to go inside when one of them shouts at me.)

Guy #1: “I thought you didn’t have a dollar!”

Me: *slightly annoyed* “I don’t! I have twenty!”

(They finally leave the area and I purchase my snacks, I’m almost to my apartment complex when see them again, glancing at me. The same guy asks me again.)

Guy #1: “Now do you have a dollar?”

(At this point I am fed up this these three.)

Me: *annoyed* “Yes, I do, but after that do you really think I’m going to give you one?!”

(As I headed inside I could see them hanging their heads in shame, walking away embarrassedly. Needless to say, I think they learned something that day! )

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