I have told several stories about my father-in-law, including this one. This story is actually about the man my father-in-law went to work for when he first started working in construction decades ago. We’ll call him Dave. My father-in-law said this older man taught him everything he knew about construction. Dave was smart, a hard worker, and tough as nails.

One day, Dave fell off a ladder and heard a sickening crack in his arm. My father-in-law could see that Dave’s arm was broken, but thankfully, the skin was not broken. Dave went to the site boss and told him he’d broken his arm. The boss said he could leave for the hospital but Dave wouldn’t get paid for the day.

Dave told my father-in-law to run to his car and get an old shirt and a roll of duct tape. I won’t describe here what Dave did because it is not a wise thing to do. Anyway, with some… pulling and help from my father-in-law, he got the bone reset. Dave then cut off the sleeve of the old shirt and put it over the broken arm. With my father-in-law’s help, he duct-taped a piece of wood to the arm and went back to work.

After they got off of work that evening, Dave asked my father-in-law to drive him to the hospital. They walked into the emergency room. After taking most of his information, the nurse asked:

Nurse: “Is that really duct tape around your arm?”

Dave: “Yes.”

The nurse ran and got the doctor, who immediately got him into the X-ray.

Doctor: “Well, Dave, it’s really broken. But you did a great job setting it. I don’t think I could have done better. We are going to put a new cast on it, but I have to ask why you didn’t come in earlier. Why did you wait to come in?”

Dave: “If I had come in, I wouldn’t have gotten paid. I’m poor. My family needs this paycheck to eat.”

They put a new cast on it. The doctor made sure there was no bill. The next day, Dave showed up on the job site and went to work, even using a hammer with the broken arm.

My father-in-law said he learned so much from Dave — although learning how to set a broken arm with duct tape was not among the things he would have guessed.

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I work in asphalt with my dad. We seal coat parking lots (essentially spraying parking lots black again so they look new) and the black stuff goes on wet. We cone off these areas and signs are put up WELL in advance telling people that the parking lot will be closed for this reason.

Cue a pedal biker who, after blowing through a line of bright orange cones, hits the seal coat while it’s still wet, falls, and then slides across the asphalt, drenching his pretty biking outfit in our oil-based sealer. My dad just looks at him.

Dad: “Well, now you know what the cones are for.”

I’m out for my morning walk. I’m getting on in years and need to be careful where I’m walking. I come upon a car and trailer completely blocking the footpath and sticking well out into a busy road.

I catch the eye of a tradesman working up at the front of the house.

Me: “Don’t you know it’s illegal to park blocking the footpath? And someone is likely to run into your trailer sticking out like that.”

He responds as though talking to an idiot.

Tradesman: “I need to park near where I’m working so I don’t waste my customer’s time walking backward and forward to get my tools.”

Me: *Perplexed and pointing* “But there are a good six metres of empty driveway in front of you. If you moved up there, you would be closer to where you are working.”

The tradesman looked at me, looked at the empty driveway, shrugged, and went back to work, leaving me to risk being run over in the busy street detouring around his vehicle.

My dad owns a small demolition business and I work for him. We tear down old houses or remove the interior for remodels. There is one employee we call Lucky because he suffers some minor but unfortunate accident at every site he works at, like having a chunk of drywall fall on him or a piece of wire scratch his face. Lucky, two other coworkers, and I are sent to tear down a trailer that is not safe to live in or move. As we do our walk-through:

Me: “Okay, everyone, be careful; the floor does not look sturdy.”

Coworker #1: “I bet lunch that Lucky goes through within three hours.”

Coworker #2: “One hour.”

Lucky: “Not funny, guys!”

Me: “The next thirty minutes.”

Lucky: “Okay, first to fall through pays for lunch for a month.”

Us: “Deal!”

As I’m entering the kitchen:

Me: “Something happens to you at every site. At least this time we—”

The floor rips like paper as my leg goes through it.

Lucky: “Wooo! Lunch on the boss’s son!”

I had some bruising around my thigh and an even bigger bruise on my ego. Lucky made it through the job without a single accident, and I paid out big time for lunch that month.

I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one. This story is really about a gentleman that worked for my father-in-law.

Like many construction jobs, the one where this took place needed someone who was a demolitions expert in order to blow up some huge boulders that were in the way of a planned road and bridge. My father-in-law had a friend who served with him in Vietnam who was one of the best. He knew how to set the explosives to blow up the boulders in the safest way possible and the exact amount needed to do it on the first try.  

My father-in-law walked into the explosives shed to let his buddy know the site was cleared and ready for him to put out the C4 — an explosive that has the consistency of Play-Doh. On the desk was what looked like clay formed in the shape of animals like bears, cats, and dogs.  

Father-In-Law: “Ummm, [Friend], why have you molded the explosives in the shapes of animals?”

Friend: *In monotone* “It helps me deal.”

My father-in-law backed out of the shed and never went back in for the rest of the job. He never said anything else because the guy was great at what he did and had a perfect safety record. But every time something was blown up, my father-in-law couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

Related:
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This Lesson Really Stings, Part 3
This Lesson Really Stings, Part 2
This Lesson Really Stings