Constructing A Pretty Good Point

, , , , , | Working | June 17, 2020

My in-laws own a building restoration company, mainly dealing with old brick structures. They will not do new construction. 

City council meets with local business owners to try to combat low employment rates, especially among people with any sort of criminal record. 

Mayor: “You own a construction company; why not take on a few more employees with less desirable records?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, you see, it’s building restoration. I can only take on workers with experience in old construction or a background in engineering.”

Mayor: “Nothing wrong with training new, hard-working citizens, though.”

Father-In-Law: “Sounds good, but it won’t work. Everyone has to come back clean on the background check; we often work unsupervised in businesses, even the occasional bank after hours. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

Mayor: “Fine. Just know you are being unreasonable.”

A few months later, the mayor hires my father-in-law to repair the sinking front steps of his home. He sends out a guy who’s 6’4” and 250 pounds and has tattoos from his neck to his fingertips and rippling muscles. He’s the sort of guy that you wouldn’t want to cross. He is a life and fitness coach, and an extremely nice guy. He doesn’t know the first thing about repairs.

He knocks on the front door with a toolbox, and the mayor just about calls the police. Instead, he calls my father-in-law to ask about him.

Father-In-Law: “Oh, yeah, he works for me; he applied a few weeks back. I thought about what you said and figured I’d give him a shot. He got out early on good behavior; I think it was felony assault and possession of narcotics.”

Mayor: “And you sent him out to my house?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, yeah. You pushed for more felons to be hired! Thought you’d love to see the results. Is he working okay? Or are you afraid he’s going to rob the place?” *Laughs* “He’s a good guy, never went to prison. Just showing you that image is part of business.”

He sent someone to actually reset the steps after the call.

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“The Last Bits” Of Realization

, , , | Right | April 15, 2020

It is a very hot summer and I decide to wear my favourite dress. I’ve had it for years and it has lost its elasticity. It’s not the most flattering dress anymore and since I am overweight, it adds a few more pounds visually. However, since it is hot, I decide to go for comfort instead of style. 

I’m heading home from spending the night elsewhere and I come across a construction site blocking my path. I need to go to the other side and there is literally no other way to get there unless you cross that site. Construction people have made a “safe path” and employees are present to help people if needed. I head to the small stairway.

Employee: “Miss, miss, wait! One moment, I’m coming!”

A middle-aged man runs towards me. He doesn’t hurry; he actually runs. He offers his hand.

Employee: “Mind your step, miss, one more… Do you want me to take your suitcase?”

Me: “Oh, no, thank you. It’s not heavy.”

The man stays close to me over the sandy path.

Employee: “It must be getting heavy for you in this heat.”

Me: “Oh, not really. I’m fine.”

We reach the other side and the man offers his hand again and helps me out of this sandy pit.

Employee: “Good luck, miss, with the last bits!”

I thank him and am amazed by this kind and chivalrous behaviour. By no means was the man pushy; he was genuinely being supportive and kind. I continue, and halfway, I come across to someone I hadn’t seen for years.

Acquaintance: “Oh, hi, [My Name]! You’re looking great! When are you due?!”

It then hit me. The dress made me look pregnant. The man who’d just helped me thought he was helping a heavily pregnant lady. But I’m sorry, sir. I am just fat.

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The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire

, , , , , , | Right | March 12, 2020

(My dad owns a construction company. This week we have had a heatwave with temperatures feeling like 40 degrees with humidity. Yesterday, we also had severe thunderstorms with a chance of a tornado. My dad gets this call:)

Customer: *freaking out* “Where are the roofers?! They were supposed to be here today!”


This story is part of our Heatwave roundup!

Read the next Heatwave Roundup story!

Read the Heatwave Roundup!

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Not Closed Minded In A Very Big Way

, , , | Right | February 26, 2020

I’m a customer at a sandwich stand located just outside a shopping mall downtown. The mall is encircled by a solid metal construction fence as it is in the process of being rebuilt. The surrounding street is all dug up and closed for traffic. There’s dirt everywhere and no one is inside as the place is obviously temporarily out of business.

The mall’s renovation has been fairly big news in the city and was discussed in local newspapers, etc. An older lady with a few shopping bags in hand comes to the sandwich stand and starts talking to the cashier.

Customer:
“Oh, you’ll probably know, miss… How do I find the entrance to the mall over there?”

The cashier and I stare.

Cashier:
“Nowhere. It’s closed.”

Customer:
“What? Why?”

Cashier:
“Um… it’s… being… rebuilt?”

Customer:
“What?! How am I supposed to know that?! There are still signs and all!”

She’s pointing to company logos that are still hanging on the walls outside.

Customer:
“It’s ridiculous! They should post a sign somewhere saying there’s no entrance! Someone could be looking for it! And if you’re not from around here… They must have started all this just now, am I right?”

Cashier:
“Er… Not really; it’s been going on for about three months.”

Customer:
“This is just silly. They should definitely notify people about it!”

She walks away.

Cashier & Me:
“But… it’s been all over the newspapers…”

We just looked at each other perplexed for a moment while she carried on through piles of dirt and the closed street.

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Sound Obviously Travels Backward In Australia

, , , , | Learning | February 24, 2020

When I’m in ninth grade, my school is demolishing an old science building and building a better one in its place. Part of the school is blocked off and it’s very loud. It’s annoying but okay most of the time, except in my Japanese class. The classroom is right next to where the construction is taking place and it’s very frustrating during our lessons. The floor is vibrating from whatever they are doing ten metres away. The class is discussing it.

Sensei:
*Sarcastically* “It’s okay, though; the school said they would buy me another whiteboard so that the noise wouldn’t be so bad.”

Us: 
*Confused* “What? How would that help?”

Sensei:
“They said they would get me a new whiteboard for the opposite side of the room so that we could face the other way. Then, the noise wouldn’t be so bad because we would be facing the other way.”

Obviously, we all found this logic hilariously stupid. We decided to try it, facing the other way. Surprise, surprise, we could still hear the sound of construction just as loud when we turned around. I know they had good intentions, but seriously, you would think they would understand how sound works.

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