(My coworker is chatting with our boss across the way from me and I overhear this gem:)

Coworker: “…all I’m saying, these Italian women: WHOA. CRAZY. Stay away from them, seriously. All of them are crazy.”

Me: “Ahem?” *I cross my arms and stare at him in fake annoyance* “What are you trying to say?”

Coworker: “What? You’re not Italian.”

Me: “Half on my mother’s side. Are you saying I’m half crazy?”

Coworker: “Nah, I mean… I just… You know what I mean. I was just kidding!”

(As I get back to work, my coworker starts up again:)

Coworker: “…and I’m not looking forward to St Patrick’s Day this year. The bar is going to be a mess. Everyone who’s even a little Irish takes that as an excuse to drink and cause trouble—“

Me: “Ahem.”

Coworker: “What?”

Boss: “You’re forgetting her last name is [Common Irish Surname].”

Coworker: “Well, s***, you’re just out to gyp me out of every stereotype that is still politically correct to make fun of!”

Me: “Ahem.”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “You can’t say ‘gyp.’ My great-grandmother was Romani.”

Coworker: “DUDE.”

(When I was young I went to Hebrew School every Tuesday and Sunday – it was a bit like Sunday school but for Jews. However, I am only Jewish on my mother’s side of the family, and therefore don’t look particularly ethnically Jewish. During this lesson, we are discussing the Holocaust.)

Teacher: “So the Nazis believed in a superior race called ‘Aryans’ – the ideal Aryan would have straight, blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin…”

(My class full of dark, curly-haired students all slowly turn to stare at me – the perfect example of what my teacher just described.)

Me: “Um… I would have totally smuggled you guys out.”

(I am on a crowded bus. Next to me is a man with a plastic shopping bag of groceries, and a woman with four canvas bags of groceries. The woman is honestly the most surly-looking person I have ever met, just a scowl on her face, glaring at her phone, like someone forced her to be alive today when she had better things to do. The bus rolls up to the next stop, and the man next to me shifts to allow people out… and his bag splits open on the side, but he doesn’t notice. [Grouchy Woman] quickly condenses her belongings between the other three bags and hands the fourth, now empty, bag to him.)

Grouchy Woman: *mutters at the floor* “Your bag’s ripped.”

Man: “Oh! Thank—”

(Before he even finishes saying thank you, she is shuffling off the bus. I get off, too. Now the grouchy woman is waiting at the bus stop for the next connection with me.)

Me: “Hey. That was very kind of you.”

Grouchy Woman: *just glances up* “Oh.”

Me: “He said thank you but I don’t think you heard him.”

Grouchy Woman: *just shrugs* “I guess I didn’t need a thank you. You just watch out for other people. That’s just what you’re supposed to do.”

([Grouchy Woman], even though you were having what was clearly a rotten day, I was glad to see your priorities were in order and it didn’t stop you from doing something simple and selfless. I was happy to see that little gesture, and I hope someone makes you smile soon.)

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(It is the night daylight saving time ends. Around 1:40 am, daylight time, I order some food for delivery and they tell me it will arrive in 30 to 45 minutes. An hour and a half later, it still hasn’t arrived, so I call the restaurant to complain. Note that because of the clocks turning back at 2:00 am, it is now only 2:10 am.)

Me: “Hello, I placed an order for delivery an hour and a half ago. You told me it would be here in 30 to 45 minutes and it’s still not here.”

Employee: “I see here that you ordered at 1:40 am. It’s now 2:10 am. It’s only been half an hour. It should be there in about 15 to 20 minutes.”

Me: “No, I ordered it 90 minutes ago, before the clocks were set back.”

Employee: “So, you’re telling me that the timestamp our computer automatically prints out is wrong and you didn’t order at 1:40 am?”

Me: “No, I did, and then 20 minutes later, daylight saving time ended and it went back to 1:00 am. It’s now 70 minutes after that.”

Employee: *sarcastically* “Right… So our employees time-traveled back an hour to avoid making your food?”

Me: “Do you understand how daylight saving time works?”

Employee: “I really don’t care. You ordered half an hour ago. We’re very busy right now. Unless you’re going to stop lying, just wait for your food.” *hangs up*

(The food finally arrived after another half-hour, and it was cold. How do people not know how daylight saving time works?)

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(I am selling homemade fudge to raise money for my Girl Scout Troop. People tend to ignore us, so I need to act excessively cheerful and polite to even get an acknowledgment. As a result, it’s fairly obvious that at least a little of my cheer is feigned, but I’m still our best seller. An old lady walks past our booth on her way into a grocery store and I launch into my usual spiel.)

Me: “Hi! Would you like to help support our Girl Scout Troop on our trip to Sweden? We’re selling delicious homemade fudge!”

(The elderly lady walks past me saying nothing.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(This is a totally typical exchange, until the same lady walks back out of the grocery store.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

Lady: *furiously* “You know, I was just about to donate some money on my way out. But you were so absolutely rude that I won’t give you any money.”

Me: *stunned, trying not to stutter or cry* “I… apologize? I’m really sorry; I didn’t realize I said anything rude.”

Lady: “Of course, you did! I can’t believe how hateful you are. I wouldn’t give you any money now even if you were polite!” *stomps away*

(I’m still not sure how she thought I was insulting her. Maybe I was being so polite it wrapped back around and became rudeness, instead!)

This story is part of our Girl Scouts roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Bizarre And Silly Stories About The Boy Scouts!

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