Closed To The Truth

, , , , , | Right | June 26, 2018

(The convenience store and gas station where I work is closing for a few months to remodel. This has been known to the employees AND local customers for over a year now. The remodel is going to include tearing down the old store and putting up a bigger one, with more pumps. This scenario happens many times in one day:)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer #1: “You’re closing? When? Where am I supposed to get my gas and coffee in the morning?”

Me: “Yes, in about a week. We have another store in town; I’m sure they’d be happy to serve you.”

Customer #1: “But this is on my way to work. I stop here.”

Me: *trying to be helpful* “There’s another convenience store off the next exit…”

Customer #1: “Can’t you guys stay open while you remodel?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but they’re going to tear down the building so they can make a bigger and better one.”

Customer #1: “But can’t you stay open for gas?”

Me: “No, They’re taking out the pumps and tanks.”

Customer #1: “But I don’t understand why you can’t stay open.”

Me: “We’ll be open again in about six months.”

Customer #1: “You could stay open…”

(At this point the man behind her is getting impatient and a line is forming.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that just isn’t possible. We’ll be open for another week. Please come again.”

([Customer #1] leaves, still muttering about us closing.)

Me: *to [Customer #2]* “Can I help you?”

Customer #2: “You’re closing?”

Me: *sigh*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2018

I run a small landscape company. I get a call from a customer whose lawn has been destroyed by grubs.

I go over to her house, and we walk around discussing various issues with the property. Looking at the lawn, it is clearly destroyed, and I ask her who mows it. She tells me she has this guy who cuts a few lawns on the street. I ask why he did not tell her when the grubs first came out so that she could treat them. Her explanation is that he is “just a grass cutter, not a landscaper.”

I take some measurements, and after figuring it out, we sit down and tell her the job will need a good 50 cubic yards of soil, and that I will have to move it around then spread it out. After that, it needs to be york-raked, hand-raked, and hydro-seeded. The cost would be $5,000 plus tax.

She asks how much I will charge to cut the lawn, and I reply $40.

She says that was too much. I explain that if I had been mowing the lawn, I would have seen the grubs, notified her, and treated for them at a cost of under $100.

She says that she does not want to spend the extra $10 a week. I explain that she is not saving $10, as it is going to cost $5,000 to fix the lawn now, but if she had spent the extra $10, it would have taken seventeen years of weekly mowing before she spent the $5,000. All she keeps saying is that she is saving $10.

I finally give up, sign the contract, get the $5,000, and she is happy as she is still “saving” $10 a week.

Got to love stupid people: spend $5,000 to save $10.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75

Unfiltered Story #114597

, , , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2018

(It’s a busy Saturday night. I’m walking around the dining room checking tables when an older couple, probably in their mid-60s, stops me outside the back entrance to the bar.)

Woman: We’re looking for our friends. He’s tall…..

Me: I don’t know who is where but feel free to walk around.

Woman: Oh but he’s tall. They ordered nachos!

Me: Are they in the bar? There’s an entrance right there you can look around.

Woman: Oh ok.

(Situations like this happen more often than you’d think, but this was the first time someone expected me to know where their friends are based on what they ordered.)

They Snow Nothing

, , , | Right | June 7, 2018

(I work for an environmental research company that provides historical data about properties. We do maps, aerial photos, tax maps, etc., and nothing to do with the government.)

Caller: “I’m going snowbird hunting and wanted to know if I need a license.”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, sir; you called a research company. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Can you tell me if I need a license?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Well, who do I ask for when I call the operator at your number?”

Me: “You don’t ask for anyone; we can’t help you here. Call the town hall or something.”

Caller: “The town hall? Well what can you tell me?”

Me: “I can tell you not to call this number again.” *click*

Worth Checking Out This Checking In

, , , , , | Working | May 30, 2018

(Our particular chain of gas stations developed an app that, in addition to sending you discounts for certain items, allows you to “check in” whenever you are at one of their locations. After a certain number of “check-ins,” you get a code for $2 off a purchase of gas. It works via the GPS on your phone, so you don’t have to actually be AT the store to check in just nearby. Furthermore, while you can only use one discount per transaction, there is no limit to the number of discounted purchases you can make in a day, and no minimum purchase required. We have one customer who is some sort of delivery driver, just driving around all day. He comes in several times a day and asks for $2 in gas, presents his $2 discount code, and drives off with free gas. I ask him about it; he isn’t doing anything technically wrong, but I am curious. He says as he drives around, any time he passes one of our stores, he hits the check-in button, and racks up the $2 discount codes. When he has time to stop, he gets another free $2 worth of gas. This gets me thinking. I live pretty close to another of our stores. I discover I can “check in” from my living room. So, sitting at home at night, watching TV, I check in every 30 minutes or so. Next day, I stop and ask for $2 in gas, pump it, then go back in and ask for another $2, repeat, repeat… As long as they are separate transactions, I’m not breaking any rules. I admit, I am taking advantage of the poor design of the app; somebody didn’t think it through very well. One day I go into work and the manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Are you the one who’s been abusing the app?”

Me: “I’m not abusing it; I’m using the discounts it’s offering me.”

Manager: “Well, you’re not supposed to do that.”

Me: “Why not? The rules, restrictions, and limitations are clearly stated in the user agreement. I’m not violating a single one.”

Manager: “That’s just not how it’s supposed to work.”

Me: “Then the problem is with your app, not your customers.”

(It didn’t take long for the app to be changed to limit the number of discounts and frequency of use… and ultimately they scrapped the whole thing altogether. But at one point, I did go an entire month without paying for gas.)

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