He’s A Few Stamps Short Of A Letter

, , , , , | Right | March 5, 2020

(I work in the copy area of a well-known retail chain. This takes place at the mailing drop-off section of the store, which I am also responsible for.)

Me: “Hello, sir! What can I help you with?”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Um… sir? Can I help you?”

Customer: *stares*

(It is at this point I get a strong waft of cannabis smoke from the direction of the customer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “So… I had this package come to my house.” *pause*

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: *stares*

(After a lot of this, I manage to get enough responses from him to glean that he’s looking to pick up a package that was meant to be delivered to his house.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have that service here. If your package is being held by [Packaging Service], then it would be at one of their stores, not at a drop-off. You can call them if you want to see if they have it.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Um… here.”

(We keep the locations of the two nearest stores on printed scraps of paper, as customers often come in for packaging services we don’t offer.)

Me: *offers him one of the slips* “Here are the two nearest stores and their phone numbers.”

Customer: *stares at the slip* “Where are those?”

Me: “Um… we keep them under the counter but you can just have this one.”

Customer: *stares, and then proceeds to reach under the counter to the stack of scraps*

Me: “Sir!” *shakes slip* “You can just have this one!”

Customer: “No…” *incomprehensible mumbling*

(After much fumbling, he pulls a slip out from the middle of the stack, spilling the ones on top of it onto the floor.)

Customer:This one…” *stares at it*

Me: “Um… okay… Well, they should be able to help you.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Well, it’s your best bet.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

(I walked away. He stared at the spot where I had been standing for a solid three minutes before unsteadily wandering off.)

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This Manager Needs To Be Cut… From The Staff  

, , , , , | Working | March 4, 2020

(I am a rather small female. I work in a large home goods store, and we have been closed for about the last hour or so. Managers have gone upstairs to count money and other employees are wandering the back of the store fixing up various displays, so I’m alone in the toiletries in front of the store fixing it up myself. All of a sudden, I hear a weird tapping coming from outside, so I step out of the aisle to look and nearly have a heart attack as there is a rather large man pressed up against the glass door tapping the tip of a carving knife against the door. I try to run back into the aisle but he spots me.)

Man: “Hey! I want to return this knife!”

Me: “Uh…”

(I run back into the aisle and grab the employee phone to call the office where the manager is counting money.)

Manager: “What?”

Me: “Um, there’s a guy outside with a knife… He says he wants to return it, but—”

Manager: “Tell him we’re closed.”

Me: “I don’t really want to speak to him; he’s tapping the knife against the door and he’s kind of big. Can you come down? Or send someone else down?”

Manager: “I already sent [Manager #2] and [Manager #3] home for the night, and I’m busy counting. Just tell him to go away and come back to return it tomorrow.”

Me: “Again, I don’t really want to talk to him—”

Manager: “Just deal with it. I’m busy.” *hangs up* 

(When I peeked out from the aisle again, the guy was gone. I was able to catch a male coworker and ask him to walk me to my car, but I was super on edge for the next few nights!)

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Waiting Around To Be A Kiss-A**

, , , , , | Right | February 28, 2020

We’re in the middle of closing the store. A customer runs up to the doors as my coworker is closing them.

Coworker:
“I’m sorry, sir, we’re closed!”

Customer:
What?! You mean I drove all the way from [Nearby Town] and I can’t even come inside?!”

Coworker:
“Well… I’m afraid not, sir. We’re going to be emptying the registers and we can’t have non-employees around for that.”

Customer:
“I can’t believe this! I thought you closed at nine!”

Coworker:
“We used to, but we changed our hours about three months ago.”

At this, the customer storms off in a huff to his car but doesn’t leave. As we finish locking up and leave the store, the customer finally starts his car and drives up to the curb where about five of us are standing.

Customer:
“Do me a favor; tell your store manager he can kiss my a**!

The customer drives off, tires squealing. My coworker turns to the store manager.

Coworker:
“[Manager], kiss his a**.”

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What’s That Saying About What Happens When You Assume?

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 25, 2020

I am having dinner at a restaurant with a young woman. We are sitting near the hostess’s podium. Two women in their fifties come in and wait by the podium. One of them looks at me, sniffs, and says in a loud voice, “I don’t think much of men who go out with women young enough to be their daughters.”

I respond in an equally loud voice, “It’s not surprising that this woman is young enough to be my daughter since she is my daughter.”

The woman is gracious enough to apologize.

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Unfiltered Story #187004

, , | Unfiltered | February 24, 2020

Whelmed

(My dad, sister and I walked into a Party City store to buy some supplies to make shoes for my aunt’s daughters. We had never been inside of the store before and we all stood for an entire minute staring at the brightly decorated store.)

Me: This is ridiculous.

Sister: Uh-huh.

Me: I’m going back to the car.

(My sister managed to grab me before I ran out of the store.