Unfiltered Story #120991

, , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2018

I work at a local grocery store. My job is usually sampling products, and today is a new brand of cookies we will be stocking in our bake shop.

My sample table consists of a tray of the product and some pamphlets about the product. Behind the table, about 10 feet high taped to a wall, are large custom re-fillable balloons that have our store logo and ‘SAMPLES’ written on them that we use to bring attention to the sampling table.

I’ve run out of product, and have gone to fetch a few more packages. Upon my return, I see a man, standing on top of the sample table, ripping the balloons from the wall.

Me: Sir! Please get down from there!

Customer 1: What, I’m just getting my kids some balloons!

Me: Those balloons are not for sale, they’re for display.

Customer 1: Well, how the (f-word) am I supposed to know that?!

Me: They’re attached to a wall, above customer’s reach! Now, please get down off the table!

The customer, jumps down off the table, causing it to snap in half. My manager comes over to the area. A nearby customer, Customer 2, walks over as well.

Manager: (My name)! Are you okay? What happened!

Me: I’m fine, this customer…

Customer 1(interrupts): She put those balloons to high for me to reach! I could have been killed trying to get them! Then she yelled at me!

Customer 2: Sir, I saw the whole thing. This young lady wasn’t rude or anything, she was only telling him to get off that table. He was standing on it pulling down that display. He broke the table when he jumped off.

Manager to Customer 1: Is that true, sir?

Customer 1: I just wanted some (f-word)ing balloons!

Manager: Those balloons were clearly not for sale, and you’ve damaged both them, and this table. You’ll need to pay for the damages you’ve caused.

Customer: Fine! (Throws a dollar at my manager, and my manager looks annoyed)

Manager: Sir, the table is $100 and those balloons are $15 each, you’ve ruined 3 of them.


Manager (sternly): Well, then we’ll just have to have you arrested for destroying store property. (Manager takes out his phone.)

Customer 1: No, wait, don’t call the cops, I’ll pay!

After giving my manager $150 cash and being banned from the store, he hurries out. I start to cleanup the area while my manager takes $25 of the money and buys ‘Customer 2’ a $25 gift card for being so helpful. My manager then comes back over to me.

Manager: You handled everything perfectly, good job.

Me: Thank you, but (Manager), those balloons were free from corporate, and you told me you got that table at a tag sale for $5.

Manager: Oh yeah! (smirks) I completely forgot! (Hands me the remaining $125.) Go next door to (Hardware Store) and get a new table under $25. When you get back, I think we’ll have employee pizza day.

(Most awesome boss ever!)

Unfiltered Story #120968

, , | Unfiltered | September 16, 2018

A lady has just come up to my register.
Customer; “You know you guys really don’t have any Christian stickers at all! There are absolutely no crosses”
Me; “Sorry about that. I know we usually have some but we may be sold out”
Customer; “I don’t care, it’s disgusting”
I stay quiet and finish ringing her things, then hit total. I can’t help but laugh.
Me; “Your total is.. uh. $6.66.”
The lady looks at me bug eyed like she about to explode, and threw a pack of gum to add to the total.
Me; “Okay now your total is $8.18”
Customer; “Much better.”

Doesn’t Have To Be A Judgemental Universe

, , , , , | Right | August 23, 2018

(A customer comes up to the counter. He’s a man in his twenties, kind of rugged-looking, and is wearing a t-shirt with a popular sports logo on it. He puts a pink shirt, a star-shaped stencil, a can of yellow fabric spray paint, and a huge pink plastic gem on the counter. Being a massive fan of the cartoon “Steven Universe,” I immediately recognize these items as key components for making a cosplay of the main character. Since it’s rare to find fellow Steven Universe fans in my age group, especially fellow guys, I decide to strike up a conversation regarding the show.)

Me: “So, are you excited for the new Steven Universe episode tonight?”

Customer: *looks startled and a bit embarrassed* “Wh-what? No, no way, man. That show’s for kids. This is for, uh, my little sister.”

(Note that the shirt is an adult large. I don’t want to embarrass the guy, so I go along with it.)

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(As I finish ringing him up, his cell phone goes off… and his ringtone is the “Steven Universe” theme song. The guy’s face goes scarlet, and he scrambles to power his phone off.)

Me: *smiles in what I hope is a reassuring way* “No judgement, dude. I’m as big a fan as your ‘sister.’ Enjoy!”

Halfway House Only Gets You Halfway There

, , , , , | Healthy | August 19, 2018

(I’m an EMT. My partner and I are called to a homeless shelter/halfway house for a “sick call.” This means a non-life-threatening issue. We arrive and unload the stretcher. There’s about ten stairs and a small elevator right inside the door. I start to open the door of the elevator when I’m greeted by staff.)

Staff: “You’re going to the second floor. Oh, that elevator doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have another one?”

Staff: “Sure, it’s up here around the corner.”

Me: “Great. How can I access it?”

Staff: “Come on up the stairs and go to the end of the hall.”

Me: “That’s not going to work. Do you have another access point? A ramp, maybe?”

Staff: “We have an elevator around the corner here.”

Me: “That’s great, but if this elevator doesn’t work, how am I going to get my stretcher to the second floor?”

Staff: *exasperated* “There’s an elevator right over here! Right around the corner.”

Me: “I understand that. But how would you like me to get my stretcher up these stairs to get to that elevator?”

Staff: *blank stare*

Me: *to my partner* “Let’s just leave it here, see the patient, and figure it out from there.”

(When we got to the other elevator it was so small our stretcher wouldn’t have fit, anyway, even if we folded the back.)

Your Music Taste Towers Above The Rest

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I work at a small museum in a tower. Visitors have to hike about a mile to the building, and then if they want to go to the top of the building, it’s another ten staircases up. One hot day, a group of five people walk in. One visitor is playing “Eye of the Tiger” loudly on his phone.)

Musical Visitor: “PHEW! We made it! Now who’s pumped for the top of the tower?”

Visitor #1: “Oh, my God. Can you turn the music off now?”

Musical Visitor: “Nope! Got to get pumped!” *sees me laughing* “See? She likes it!”

Me: “Yeah, I like it. You’ve got a lot of steps to go now, so you could use the excitement.”

Musical Visitor: “Okay, let’s go!”

(He starts jogging up the steps. Another person in his group, a young woman, pauses at my chair, shaking her head.)

Visitor #2: “You can make fun of him when he leaves; we won’t mind.”

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