A Time For Giving You Grief

, , , , , , | Right | December 25, 2018

(I am working in a bookstore for the holidays. We’ve gotten our shipment of individual and boxed Christmas cards. A man comes up and hands me a card to purchase and an envelope.)

Me: “I’m having trouble finding the barcode on this card, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy it.”

Me: “Well, without that barcode, you can’t buy it. This doesn’t even look like any of the brands that sell individual cards. Where did you find it?”

(He walks over to one of the display tables and brings back a boxed set of cards. It has clearly been ripped open.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. These cards are made to sell as a group. And the total for this box of cards is…” *beep of scanner* “[Total].”

Customer: “Well, I only want one, so just charge me for one.”

Me: “I can’t do that. We have an entire section of individually sold cards right over there. If you only want one, you’ll have to pick one of them.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like any of them. I want one of these, and I don’t want to buy the whole box when I only want one!”

Me: *fed up* “Sir, you have two choices: buy the whole box or pick an individual card from over there. We literally cannot charge you for one card out of a boxed set.”


(He storms off and I bite my tongue against the urge to say, “But you’re not IN your country right now, are you?” Instead, I sigh wearily and go back to ringing up customers. Just a few minutes later, two managers come over with a coworker, who takes over at another register as the two managers have me go into the back. Now I’m upset. As soon as the door closes behind us, [Manager #1] turns to me.)

Manager #1: “It’s okay, [My Name]. You’re not in trouble. Some guy complained to us that you wouldn’t let him rip apart a box of cards for one.”

Manager #2: “He actually demanded that we give you a public dressing down for your ‘bad customer service.'”

(I look at them both, horrified.)

Manager #1: “Obviously we’re not going to do something like that, even if you had done something wrong. He was going on and on about ‘in his country’ this and ‘in his country’ that and how we needed to fire you for such poor behavior. He’s not in his country now and that’s not how we do things here. Sooo we’re going to give you your fifteen-minute break about half an hour early today.”

Manager #2: “[Manager #3] is explaining that he has two choices and none of them involve buying the card individually from the box. He should be gone by the time your break is over, but if he approaches you again, call us. This is the ‘talk’ we told him we’d give you, and he has no further say in the matter.”

(Fortunately, Mr. In-My-Country was gone by the time my break was over.)

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This Prank Has A Drinking Problem

, , , , , , , , | Right | May 3, 2018

It’s the lunchtime rush at the drive-thru. A group of giggling teens orders a large Hi-C drink. The driver pays and drives up to my window, accepting the drink.

There is a scream of, “Fire in the hole!” and the cup comes flying toward my window like an orange grenade.

I slam the window shut before the drink arrives. Upon impact, the drink bounces off the window and the lid comes flying off.

The now lidless cup ricochets back at the car and ends up in the driver’s lap, with about 90% of its contents exploding all over the pristine interior and soaking at least the driver and her passenger.

They stare, dumbfounded at how their “prank” has backfired, and resulted in a sticky mess all over their car interior.

I smile sweetly and gesture for them to move along, alerting my manager in case they decide to come in and complain.

They don’t. They just drive off with stunned expressions still on their faces. My one regret to this day is that we didn’t have a camera to capture the incident.

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Not Compatible With Customer Service

, , , , , , | Working | January 21, 2018

(It’s been a while since I’ve had to buy ink for my printer, so I write down my printer’s information and go to the store. I find an ink cartridge box that claims to be compatible with my make and model. When I get home, I find that it’s not compatible at all, even though I double-checked the information on the box against my printer. So, I go back to the store.)

Me: “Hello, I’m afraid I need to make an exchange.”

Employee: “This ink has been opened. What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, it’s not compatible with my printer, despite what it says on the box.”

Employee: “You should really make sure it’s compatible before you open it.”

Me: “How? The box says it is, but the cartridge itself isn’t.”

Employee: “Maybe you should try actually reading the box instead of saying you did.”

Me: *sighs* “Look, I just want to exchange it for a cartridge that is compatible. Call a manager if you need to.”

Employee: “Or you can own up to your mistakes and just pay for a new one. I’m not returning this.”

Me: “I can also stand here and make a huge fuss until a manager comes over, anyway. Your choice.”

(The employee huffs and stalks off. A manager comes to the register. I explain it to him, I point out the make and model that says it is compatible with, and that I have a receipt, and that I would just like an ink cartridge that is compatible.)

Manager: “Oh, boy, one of these. Yeah, it seems a whole batch of these got the wrong compatibility instructions printed on the box. What’s your make and model? I can run and grab that for you in two minutes.”

(The transaction happens smoothly. As I’m walking away, the employee snipes:)

Employee: “Next time, read the box!”

Manager: “[Employee], come with me to the back, please…”

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‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

, , , , , , , , | Working | December 24, 2017

Our manager suddenly decided that everyone had to work at least two hours on Christmas Eve. It didn’t matter what their situation was. If they requested it off months ago, or if they had to drive 30 miles one way for a two-hour shift, that was too bad! She made it clear there were going to be no exceptions, because she wanted to be “fair.”

Of course, some people simply decided to call off on that day, because they had already gotten time off approved, and were going to be halfway across the country.

The best part though? We also went so far over our allotted hours doing that that we didn’t have enough hours for the store after Christmas, and there were huge holes in the schedule where we didn’t even have a cashier scheduled. The post-Christmas return rush was absolute INSANITY at our store, even when fully staffed.

For the rest of the month, the manager and the rest of the salaried team got to do overtime work for no extra pay, running around the store like crazy people, trying to cover several departments at once.

The manager in question was stuck being the ONLY cashier for lines that quickly grew to encircle the whole store, and she got to deal with very irate customers who demanded to know why she couldn’t call someone else up to help.

She wasn’t strung up by her toes, to the best of my knowledge, but she was a very subdued woman when January came around, and most of the rest of the salaried team still had steam coming out of their ears. They wouldn’t even look at her or acknowledge her presence for almost a week, before finally graduating to curt responses and dark looks.

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but she never repeated that mistake again.

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Dad Enjoys Making A Boob Of Himself

, , , , | Related | July 17, 2017

(My dad is… not known for having much shame. So when I go to a mall lingerie store, Dad joins me. He’s talking and joking with the cashiers while I shop for a new bra. As I come out of the changing room with my selection, Dad has unleashed his classic brand of humor:)

Dad: *with bra tied around his head so the cups point upward* “Look! Mouse ears!”

(The store employees lose it, laughing hysterically at Dad’s cheesy grin and unexpected silliness. He grabs another pair and puts them up to his face:)

Dad: “Bug eyes!”

(It was several minutes before I could purchase, but I think he brightened their day so it was all good.)

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