A-tip-ical Aging

| Mountain View, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m a woman and manager at a sausage/beer stand. I card everyone that orders beer, regardless of how old they look. Some customers get insulted, while others don’t mind. Note: I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like two beers, polish, and a coke.”

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

Customer: “I’m waaay older than you. How old do I look?”

(He looks in his mid-30s, so I guess much earlier in age.)

Me: “Uh, 24?”

Customer: “Haha! NO!”

(He shows me his ID, and his birth date makes him over 35.)

Me: “Wow, you don’t look it.”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 47.”

Customer: *skeptically* “Sure… you can’t be any older than 30. Okay, show me YOUR ID.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I pull out my ID. Much to his surprise, he sees I’m older than he is.)

Customer: “HOLY S***! WOW! You look great! Good genes, huh?”

Me: *smiling* “Yeah, something like that…”

(He pays for his order, but also puts an additional $10 bill on the counter.)

Customer: “This tip is for putting up with me!”

(Made my night!)

Fresher Than You’ll Ever Be

| Massena, NY, USA | Food & Drink

(I have worked at this concession stand for four years and this particular customer has been coming at least once a week since I started. Some variation of this same argument occurs every week.)

Regular Customer: “Is that coffee fresh?”

Me: “Relatively. I haven’t been open that long. You want some?”

Regular Customer: “No. It needs to be fresh!”

Me: “Ma’am, it is fresh. I just opened fifteen minutes ago.”

Regular Customer: “No! I can only drink fresh coffee!”

Me: “It is fresh coffee!”

(The customer stands there and glares at me without saying a word for about a minute.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am not making a new pot of coffee. This one is still fresh and over half-full.”

Regular Customer: “Yeah, well, it’s not fresh! No one’s going to buy it!”

Me: “Someone just did!”

Regular Customer: “Well, no one else will because you’re trying to sell them old coffee! I need fresh coffee!” *storms off*

Other Regular Customer: “You’d think she’d have learned just to bring her own d*** coffee by now.”

S-T-U-P-I-D

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink

(A woman, about 40 years old, is looking at all our different food and drink items on a list on our front window.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh…what’s j-u-i-c-e?”

Me: *pause* “Er, that’s juice.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(Stands there apparently thinking for about 10 seconds.)

Customer: “I don’t know what that is. Never mind!” *walks away*