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Music To My Lips

| Romantic | July 18, 2014

(A couple are kissing during a ‘Jazzfest’ concert in the park. The guy is clearly not paying attention.)

Girlfriend: *to her boyfriend* “Stop looking at Steve Martin while you’re kissing me!”

Let It Rip

, , , , | Right | April 11, 2011

(I work at a music store, which also sells tickets to local concerts. I have just finished selling tickets to this customer.)

Customer: “What happens if these get ripped?”

Me: “Most of the venues will still take the ticket as long as you have all of the pieces and the concert information is legible. If the tickets do get ripped, though, be sure to call the venue ahead of time. Just to be sure they’ll still honor them.”

Customer: “I went to [well-known amusement park] and they wouldn’t let me in because my ticket was ripped.”

Me: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

Customer: “I saw them ripping the tickets as people went in. I ripped mine while waiting in line, to save time. Do you know how this place will rip the tickets? I’d like to do it before I get there.”

Me: “I thought you were talking about accidentally ripping the tickets. Yeah, I have no idea how this place will rip the tickets. You really shouldn’t rip any tickets on purpose.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “You never know if the ripped ticket will still be honored. You might end up not getting in and wasting your money.”

Customer: “But it saves time!”


This story is part of the Impatient Customers roundup!

Read the next Impatient Customers roundup story!

Read the Impatient Customers roundup!

Missed The Doors Of Opportunity

, , , | Right | December 1, 2010

(I am running the lights for a concert. The listing online shows the doors open at 6:30 and the music starts at 9:00. A woman approaches me at my console.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know when each band is on?”

Me: “Yes, I do. Which band are you interested in?”

Customer: “Did I already miss ‘The Doors’ play, or are they going to be on stage later on tonight?”

Me: “Um. I think you may have missed your opportunity to see ‘The Doors’ play by a little while.”


This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

Read the next Musically Ignorant Customers roundup story!

Read the Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

Slippery When Wet

, , , , , , | Right | August 22, 2010

(I’m working at a football stadium at a Bon Jovi concert. A drunk customer orders a water.)

Customer: “Why can I not have the cap to this!?”

Me: “It’s the policy that we can’t give them to you. People used to throw full bottles onto the field and stages during events and it’s a safety hazard for the performers, athletes, and other members of the audience.”

Customer: *absolutely serious* “Why would ANYONE want to throw ANYTHING at Bon Jovi?!”