Has All Kinds Of Future Applications

, , | Friendly | August 23, 2017

(Overheard backstage before a performance:)

Woman: “If I’d known how hard it would be to put on eyeliner this way, I would have actually listened when my kindergarten teacher tried to correct my pencil grip!”

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The Concert Was For ‘Lady Georgia-Georgia’

, | Right | May 4, 2016

(A customer has reached our call center to ask for more information about his tickets. Often, seating designations may be abbreviated on the tickets we mail out, and, in this case, the abbreviation is similar to another state’s two-letter postal abbreviation.)

Customer: “I have a question on my tickets. I can’t find the Georgia Standing area on the map.

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not familiar with the Georgia Standing area. Is that how it’s written on your tickets?”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘GA STANDING.’”

(Now whenever our concerts have a General Admission Standing area, we all call it Georgia Standing!)

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The Dark Side Of The Machine Head

| Related | March 6, 2015

Mother: *excitedly* “I heard that Pink Floyd is going on a tour again! We should get tickets!”

Sister: “Are you sure? They haven’t toured in years.”

Mother: “Well, maybe it was Deep Purple…”

Sister: “If you don’t know the difference between Pink Floyd and Deep Purple, you shouldn’t be going to their concerts!”

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Won’t Take A Back-Seat In These Proceedings

| Right | February 14, 2015

(My younger sister and I are attending a concert given by a popular holiday rock band in a local city. Five minutes into the concert a woman and man come up to my sister and me.)

Woman: “You’re in our seats.”

Me: “How can that be possible? I had an usher show us to our seats.”

Woman: “I don’t care. You’re in our seats!” *she turns to the man she’s with* “Go get an usher so they can show these children to their proper seats!”

(A few moments later the man returns with an usher.)

Usher: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Woman: “These little girls are in our seats! I want you to escort them to their proper seats! I can’t believe you let unsupervised children into a concert!”

(Before the usher could say anything I interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am a student at a local college and therefore I am not a child. I am 23 years old and more than old enough to act as a legal guardian for my younger sister. I had an usher show my sister to our seats; therefore I do not believe that I am in your seat. I will, however, cooperate with the usher on this matter so we resolve it quickly and enjoy the rest of the show.”

(I hand my ticket to the usher and the woman reluctantly does the same.)

Usher: “Ma’am, these young women are in their proper seats. Your seats are on the other side of the entry way.” *she turns to my sister and me* “I apologize for the confusion and the trouble. Please enjoy the show!”

(When the couple and the usher walked away, the people around me gave me a small round of applause and a ‘you go girl!’)

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Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

| Right | January 1, 2015

(My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

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