PEBMAC

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(A lady came in to buy an iMac computer. After leaving, she called me 30 minutes later.)

Me: “Yes ma’am, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I thought these things came with a monitor? You told me it had a monitor.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, it’s one big monitor with a keyboard and mouse.”

Customer: “Well this one doesn’t have one.”

Me: Um…it’s the big black square on the front.”

Customer: “There is NO big black square on here.”

Me: “What do you mean? The whole machine is just a monitor; it’s the big black square above the CD Slot and speakers.”

Customer: “There is NO big black square. There are no speakers. You told me it came with a monitor.”

Me: “Ma’am…the whole computer is just a monitor with speakers and a CD Drive built in. Spin it around; it’s the big black square on the front.”

(I can hear her turning the machine around and around, and she starts getting angry with me.)

Customer: “Listen, there is no big black square, there are no speakers, and there is no slot for a CD.”

Me: “Ma’am…do you have the computer face down on your desk?”

(I can hear a big clunk as the flips the computer upright on the desk.)

Customer: “Um…I have to go now.” *click*

Related: PEBKAC (Wikipedia definition)

Customer Of The Week: RTFM

| Old Comics

Customer Of The Week: RTFM
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story

Just A Little Closer…

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(A customer purchased a copy of a popular anti virus program. About 2 hours later I received a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I just bought a **** anti virus program from your store, and it’s not working.”

Me: “What about it isn’t working? Did you install the program?”

Customer: “It’s not interfacing with my system.”

Me: “Not…interfacing? I’m not sure I understand what the problem is.”

Customer: “I set the box next to my computer, and it’s not doing anything at all. Nothing is happening on my computer! This program is defective.”

Me: “Um…well, you have to open the box and insert the CD into your computer, then install the program before it will run.”

Customer: “WHAT?! How do I do that?”

Me: “…”

Straight Into The Lion’s Den

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Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have Windows on my computer and it’s not booting up properly anymore.”

Me: “Did you buy the PC here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy Windows here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Look here, you sell Windows. I downloaded and installed Windows, and it’s not working. You’re supposed to help me.”

Me: “Let me just get it right. You’ve downloaded a copy of Windows, installed it and now it’s giving you problems.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s your job to help me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft Israel support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”

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It Happens More Often Than You’d Think

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(I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.)

Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!”

Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Lady: “The ¬†f***ing thing won’t open!”

Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?”

Lady: “Oh.” *click*

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