The Secret Language Of Customers

, | Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(An elderly customer approaches me while I make the rounds at the computer store.)

Customer: “Hello, young man! I would like one of those things…” *points to a laptop on display*

Me: “Sure thing! I have a couple of questions. What do you think you will mainly use it for?”

Customer: “Oh, I want to send screen mail.”

Me: “You mean email?”

Customer: “No! Screen mail!”

(Just as she says this, my supervisor walks up.)

Supervisor: “Oh, screen mail!”

Customer: “Yes, see? This young fellow gets it!”

(My supervisor points to a deli across the street)

Supervisor: “They sell screen mail over there.”

(She leaves and promptly returns after 20 minutes.)

Customer: “Thank you!” *holds up a bag of potato chips* “I got them!”

Byte Off More Than You Can Chew

, | United Kingdom | Top

Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

Me: “The entire Internet?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

And You Thought The ED Commercials Were Bad

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Top

(Note: I’m helping a male customer find an IDE cable for his PC.)

Me: “…and the cables are right here.”

Customer: “This is for a full tower case. What’s the longest cable you have?”

(I measure the largest cable I can find. I think it was 20 inches.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit too short.”

Me: “Sorry, that’s the longest I have. What sort of length were you looking for? I might be able to order something…”

Customer: “I need about 22 inches. That’s the story of my life…always two inches too short!”

Me: *chuckles*

Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*