Problem Solving Revolving

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Technology

(We have a tech-support line but no dedicated support people, so all us techs take turns answering it. It is my turn.)

Me: “[Store], support. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can you help me with… never mind. I figured it out. Thanks, bye!”

Me: *turns to the next tech in rotation* “Next one’s yours!”

The Key(board) To Making Great Beer

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a computer store that does a lot of repairs. A customer comes in with a laptop they are having problems with.)

Customer: “Uh, I was cleaning my keyboard with some Windex and now it’s not working right.”

(We are slow, so I take the computer in back and pop the bottom plate off and am assaulted with the smell of stale beer. It had obviously been spilled on the keyboard and flowed down into the computer.)

Me: *after returning to the customer* “Are you sure it was just Windex that got on the keys?”

Customer: “Yah.”

Me: “What about the beer smell?”

Customer: “Oh, well, I was using the Windex to clean off the beer!”

Does Not Compute

| The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(An old couple walks up to me:)

Couple: “Hello, where can we find modems?”

Me: “Modems? We don’t sell those; you need to get one from an ISP.”

Couple: “Yes, you do. We bought one over ten years ago in a store like this.”

Me: “Well, yes, we may have sold them back then, but you can’t just buy modems these days.”

Couple: “Yes, you can. My neighbours just bought a new one here last week!”

Me: *thinking they’re looking for a new router* “What would you like to use it for?”

Couple: “For going on the Internet! What do you think we mean?”

Me: “Well, we have many routers here, like this one with 802.11ac and this one—”

Couple: “—How the h*** are those things so small? Where do you need to plug your keyboard in? Where does your screen go? How does that work, sonny boy? Tell me, HOW DOES THAT WORK?!”

Me: “Oh. I think you’re looking for a desktop. One of those big boxy COMPUTERS?”

Couple: “Yes, yes, that!”

(In the end, they bought a laptop – “All that stuff in such a small box? Wow!”)

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