Max Pain

| PA, USA | Right | September 12, 2013

Customer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”

Me: “My name is Max.”

Customer: “Matt?”

Me: “Max.”

Customer: “Brad?”

Me: “Max.”

Customer: “Jack?”

Me: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”

Customer: “Matt?”

Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”

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Not Just The Computer Making A Loud Noise

| Mooresville, IN, USA | Right | April 29, 2013

(A very angry customer walks into our office.)

Me: “Hi! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “My computer’s broken! Fix it!”

Me: “I see you didn’t bring it in with you today. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work!”

Me: “How is it not working? Can you turn it on, or does nothing happen when you hit the power button? Does it power up, but it might just be slow from a virus?”

Customer: “You should know this! My monitor doesn’t work! I bought a new monitor, but it doesn’t work! Oh, and my computer is making a loud noise!”

Me: “I’m thinking it sounds like there may be one of three things wrong with your computer. If you could bring it in, I’ll take a look at it.”

(From this point on, she screams at me every time she speaks to me.)

Customer: “YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER! TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”

Me: “Ma’am, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong until you bring it in and let me look at it. Until then, I’m not going to be able to give you the answers you need.”

Customer: “TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think the most likely case is that your motherboard has failed. If that’s true, you’ll need to buy a new computer. It also sounds like your power supply may have failed or you might need a new video card. If either of those two are the case, they’re fixable problems.”

Customer: “TELL ME HOW MUCH A VIDEO CARD COSTS!”

Me: “How old is your computer?”

Customer: “IT’S AN ACER!”

Me: “Ma’am, first things first. I’m going to have to ask you to keep this conversation at a reasonable volume. Secondly, you yelling at me the brand of your computer when I ask for the age doesn’t help me. If you could just bring it in to me—”

Customer: “YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! I’M NEVER DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU AGAIN!”

(The woman storms out of the office. I yell back before the door closes.)

Me: “You never did business with us in the first place!”

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Tai-Want It Now

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Right | February 23, 2013

(I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)

Repair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”

Customer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”

Repair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”

Customer: *leaves, defeated*

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Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12

| Serbia | Right | January 28, 2013

(I work in a computer repair service where we fix computers, reinstall windows OS and the like. A girl storms in the shop, ignoring the line and starts shouting at me.)

Customer: “Hey! When you reinstalled my Windows, you broke the wireless receiver in my laptop! I can’t connect to my wireless network! I want my money back and I want it now!”

(Other customers are obviously uncomfortable. I decide to test her laptop on the spot, on the counter, and it connects to our shops wireless network without any problems.)

Me: “See, it connects to the internet. Maybe you didn’t set up your connection properly.”

Customer: “It connects to your network, but not mine. The programs you installed must be wrong ones! I want my money back!”

Me: “If it connects to one network, it will connect to any. What kind of device are you using to broadcast your wireless signal?”

(She is silent.)

Me: “Are you connecting to your own wireless network?”

Customer: “…No.”

Me: “Are you sure you aren’t trying to steal someone else’s internet without knowing their password?”

Customer: *blushes, lowers her head, and rushes out of the shop*

 

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Supportive Of Technical Support

| USA | Right | December 5, 2012

Technician: “Hello, how may I be of service?”

Customer: “You’re a technician?”

Technician: “Yes, sir. I’ve worked here for 3 years. I assure you that I’m qualified to help you with any problems you might have.”

Customer: “You’re the first female tech I’ve spoken to. You must really be good.”

Technician: “Thank you.”

Customer: “Do you ever get nasty comments?”

Technician: “Unfortunately, yes I do sometimes. I’ve learnt to deal with them.”

Customer: “Well, they can all stick it where it don’t shine! And if you’re seriously having trouble with a particular guy, let me know and I’ll make sure they’ll regret it!”

(From then on, this customer always asked for our female technician.)

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