Red Alert!

| São Paulo, Brazil | Right | February 24, 2017

(Someone call us requesting us to go to their house get their computer so we can repair in our shop.)

Caller: “Hello! Can you come here get my computer to fix it?”

Boss: “Sure! What is your address?”

Caller: “It’s [Street], [house number]. It’s right in the intersection. It’s a two-floor yellow house.”

Boss: “[My Name], go and get the computer; it’s easy to find.”

(I go there and find the house number, but it’s red, and all houses have two floors. I ring the bell nonetheless but no answer the door, so I call my boss.)

Me: “[Boss], I’m here at the number, but no one is coming and the house is red.”

Boss: “Okay, give me a minute. I’ll call them.” *calls Customer* “Hey, [Customer], my employee is at the number but I think it’s the wrong place. Can you explain again how to get there?”

Customer: “Sure! It’s [Same Street and number], a two floor yellow house.”

Boss: “There’s just a red house at that street, and no one answered the door.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. It’s yellow, but we painted it red last month.”

He Has A Computer Bug Up His A**

| Inland Empire, CA, USA | Right | June 7, 2016

Customer: *slams two broken laptops on counter* “Fix ’em.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I don’t know; that’s your job, not mine.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you happen to have a warranty on these by chance?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why?”

(At this point, I’m plugging both laptops into the wall under my desk via the chargers the customer has supplied, so I can attempt to boot them up.)

Me: “Well, these appear to be a little bit older. If they are out of warranty, we can work with you on services for rep—”

(The customer begins yanking on the power chords, which are now plugged in under the counter. The “bricks” on the chargers are swinging very close to my face. He yanks hard enough to free both chargers from the wall, and they come inches from smacking me in the face hard.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, was that necessary?”

Customer: “I’m not paying you to fix my s***, you a**-hole! Fix it or I’m throwing them at you!”

(At this point, management has come over to the counter and asked the customer to leave. He looks right at me.)

Customer: “You want to go outside, buddy?”

Me: “Sir, are you serious?”

(The customer is escorted to the front of the door, detained by loss prevention, and the police are called. The manager comes up to me afterwards.)

Manager: “Did he come in like that? What just happened?”

Wish You Could Back Away From Their Backing Up

| Bloomington, IL, USA | Working | August 7, 2015

(I suspect my computer’s hard drive has died as it is giving every indication that the drive no longer exists. I take it to a computer repair shop.)

Worker: “It could be one of three things, but I suspect it’s the hard drive. If that’s the case, would you like us to try to recover your info?”

Me: “Sure, but I have everything backed up elsewhere, so I’m not too worried if it’s gone.”

Worker: “…Okay?”

(It turns out it was indeed a defective hard drive. I go in to pick up my laptop that now has a new hard drive.)

Worker: “So the bad news is that we were unable to recover any data. I’m really, really sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. I have everything backed up.”

Worker: “I don’t think you understand. There’s nothing I can do. That information is gone.”

Me: “I understand completely. I have a backup on one of my external drives. All is well.”

Worker: “You know, you really should buy an external hard drive and back up your information regularly.”

Me: “Sir, please hear what I’m saying. I have already done that. My information is safe. I will be taking my laptop home and restoring everything that was lost.”

Worker: “You’re not hearing me. You’re going to open this laptop and it’s going to have no information on it. So this doesn’t happen again, why don’t you buy an external hard drive here?”

Me: *giving up* “No thank you. Can you please just let me know how much I owe for the repair and I’ll be on my way.”

Worker: “Your total is [amount].”

Me: “That’s about $100 more than I was told on the phone.”

Worker: “Well, that includes your new external hard drive you will need so this won’t happen again.”

Me: “Listen. I have tried to explain to you that I do not need an external drive. I already have one and have been backing up my information for years. Now, you are going to take that charge off my bill and I’m going be on my way.”

Worker: “I can’t give you a discount for the external drive. You’re going to have to talk to my manager.”

Me: “Yeah… I think that would be a very good idea.”

(The manager started down the same path. Thankfully, I was able to get his attention about halfway through the spiel and explain I just wanted to pay for the repairs. On my way out, the worker yelled after me that I really needed to back up my information. Sigh.)

Instructions Do Not Compute

| Washington, DC, USA | Working | June 30, 2015

(I do repair work at a non-profit. My boss wanted me to train someone to help me with my work. While training him on a standard install procedure he decided to take notes.)

Coworker: “Okay… first, navigate to the flash drive’s folder.”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Coworker: “Second, insert the flash drive.”

Me: *politely* “Actually, you need to do that first.”

(I later found out that he was trying to get certified as a computer technician. I managed to convince him to at least take a computer literacy course first.)

Can’t See The Bigger Picture

| Serbia | Right | June 29, 2015

(I work at a computer service where we fix computers and sell some general computer equipment. Our boss prefers if we actually help the customer rather than make a sale.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys have a HDMI to VGA adapter?”

Me: “Sure, here it is. What do you need it for, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Customer: “Well, I have this laptop that I need to connect to a projector for a presentation.”

Me: “Okay, sir, this will work for you, but you do know that laptops have VGA output apart from HDMI, meaning you don’t actually need to purchase this?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know, but I figured HDMI has HD output so it would have better picture quality.”

Me: “Well, sir, projectors, especially the ones used for presentations, don’t really benefit from HDMI since their display quality is often way lower than HD resolutions. Furthermore this HDMI to VGA adapter degrades HDMI output to VGA so it could be transferred using VGA ports so you will have absolutely no benefit from HDMI.”

Customer: “But HDMI has a better picture!”

Me: “Yes, sir, it does, but it has to be degraded to VGA quality so your projector can use it, so in my opinion it’s better to just use laptops VGA output instead of buying this adapter and using HDMI.”

Customer: “But I want the better picture!”

Me: “Okay, sir. That will be 10$”

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