Breaking Bad Passwords

| Australia | Working | July 26, 2014

(I work for a computer repair shop, and it is not uncommon for customers to forget to give us a password, or give us a wrong one. To save us a phone call, we try to guess the password in this instance.)

Coworker: “I can’t get in. The hint is ‘ice’. I’ve tried ‘frozen water’ and ‘cold’.”

Me: “Have you tried anything relating to drugs?”

Coworker: “I’ve tried ‘drugs’, I’ve tried ‘meth’, I’ve tried ‘speed’…”

(We burst into laughter and he realises how that sounded out loud.)

Coworker: “I haven’t tried DOING those.”

Best Left To His Own Company

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Right | November 21, 2013

(A customer is trying to return a computer he has had for over six months.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t return it now, but we may be able to fix it. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t get online anymore.”

(I start working on the computer, and find the antivirus has expired and locked down the browser. This is a sneaky trick some antivirus software does to get you to renew.)

Me: “I removed your expired AV. Your browser is working. You will need new AV.”

Customer: “Awesome, that’s great. Hey do you have those cameras that go up high?”

Me: “…Cameras that go up high?”

Customer: “Yeah, like those.”

(He points to the store’s security cameras.)

Me: “Oh, security cameras? No, we don’t sell anything like that.”

Customer: “But [Other Store] sells them.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but we are a different company.”

(As I answer him, the customer looks very strange; it’s as if he is no longer all there mentally. He begins muttering to himself.)

Customer: “Different company? Diff-erent company… Different comp-any…”

(The customer picks up his computer and walks off, all the while continuing to mutter and stare directly into the lights in the ceiling. After he leaves, my coworker speaks up.)

Coworker: “…What just happened?”

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Max Pain

| PA, USA | Right | September 12, 2013

Customer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”

Me: “My name is Max.”

Customer: “Matt?”

Me: “Max.”

Customer: “Brad?”

Me: “Max.”

Customer: “Jack?”

Me: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”

Customer: “Matt?”

Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”

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Supportive Of Technical Support

| USA | Right | December 5, 2012

Technician: “Hello, how may I be of service?”

Customer: “You’re a technician?”

Technician: “Yes, sir. I’ve worked here for 3 years. I assure you that I’m qualified to help you with any problems you might have.”

Customer: “You’re the first female tech I’ve spoken to. You must really be good.”

Technician: “Thank you.”

Customer: “Do you ever get nasty comments?”

Technician: “Unfortunately, yes I do sometimes. I’ve learnt to deal with them.”

Customer: “Well, they can all stick it where it don’t shine! And if you’re seriously having trouble with a particular guy, let me know and I’ll make sure they’ll regret it!”

(From then on, this customer always asked for our female technician.)

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Don’t On-Call The Goose That Lays Your Golden Eggs

| South Carolina, USA | Working | December 4, 2012

(My boyfriend works for a local mom-and-pop computer repair business. Despite being told that his work is consistently excellent, the following takes place when he gets his third paycheck.)

Owner: “Can I talk to you in private?”

My Boyfriend: “Sure.”

Owner: *hands him his paycheck* “We’re going to have to put you on an on-call basis only. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to pay you any more for your hours in the shop.”

My Boyfriend: “…What?”

Owner: “We’re not getting the business we need right now. We had to dip into our savings to even pay your check.”

My Boyfriend: “Right. What about [front desk person]?”

Owner: “What about her?”

My Boyfriend: “I notice you’ve cut my pay and my hours, but you haven’t done anything to her.”

Owner: “But [front desk person] has been with us from the beginning!”

My Boyfriend: “I understand and respect that, but all she does is run the front desk. And as slow as we’ve been, all she’s been doing is playing on Facebook. I’m a technician. I’m doing the work that actually brings money into this place.”

Owner: *silence*

My Boyfriend: “So, let me make sure I’m getting this straight: you’re basically getting rid of me, the one person who has done everything possible to help this business. I set up a ribbon-cutting with the local chamber of commerce in an effort to help get the word out for your business, got in touch with [local TV station] to set up advertising for your business, and successfully negotiated maintenance contracts with several local businesses, including the local police department. I’ve maintained a good rapport with any customer that I have done repair work for, and you’re cutting 100% of MY hours in favor of [front desk person], who has done precisely jack s*** to help this business? And you’re basically firing me without officially firing me?”

Owner: “…Yes.”

My Boyfriend: “I’m going on break.”

(My boyfriend didn’t go back to work after his break. He called me to let me know what happened. I helped him write a scathing resignation letter that night He got another better-paying job a few days later, and is much happier! The last we saw, the owners were facing an eviction.)

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