VHS No Longer Computes

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I’ve got a broken computer and I need it fixed.”

(The customer proceeds to open a bag and out comes a old VHS player.)

Me: “Sir, that is not a computer. That is a VHS tape player.”

Customer: “Well, my PC is broken and I was hoping that you could fix it.”

Me: “Sir, that is not a PC. That’s a VHS tape player and there is no repair shop for VHS players around anymore, as they are deemed outdated.”

Customer: “Well, where can I find one?”

Me: “You can’t. You will have to buy a new one.”

Customer: “So, you can’t repair it?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “I heard great service from my friends when they came here to fix their PC.”

Me: “That is not a PC. That is a VHS player that you are holding in your hands.”

Customer: “So, can you fix it?”

Maybe He Was Looking For A Raspberry Pi

| ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I own my own little computer repair shop, and lease it in a building next door to a restaurant. Though it is rare, I do sometimes get people who come into my shop by mistake looking for the restaurant because it offers to order out its food, and often this problem is resolved by me giving them directions to next door. My shop is very much so obviously a computer repair shop with only a desk to drop of your computer and a few displays with replacement parts. I am behind the drop off desk checking which order to work on next, when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Oh, hi there. Here to pick up an order?”

Customer: “Yup, I had a order for Ted.”

Me: *I look up my database and find no orders for Ted.* “Umm, is it perhaps under any other name, or last name?”

Customer: “No, I definitely put it under Ted.”

Me: “Hmm, well what did you get done on your system? Maybe I can find it that way?”

Customer: “Oh I ordered a large pepperoni, well done, with some hot wings.”

Me: “You mean, like the food?”

Customer: “…duh! You work in a restaurant. What do you think is here?”

Me: “No, as you can see…” *I point around my shop* “I run a small computer repair shop.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! I’m the husband of the owner and if you don’t get me my order I’ll have you fired!”

(I am amused by this, because since we’ve been neighbors for a few years I know for sure the owner of the restaurant is indeed a woman, but is also a same sex couple with her partner.)

Me: “Really now? I heard she and her husband broke up.”

Customer: “No, we didn’t. We’re a loving man and wife. Now get me my d*** food, now!”

Me: “Sorry. I just can’t do that. It goes against my policies.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, now!”

(I call the restaurant and ask if the owner could come over real quick. She does.)

Owner: “What seems to be—” *comes in and stops almost immediately. at the sight of the customer.*

Customer: “You’re not the manager of [Restaurant]. You’re just the stupid c*** that thinks you’re clever. I wanna speak to the owner, now!

Owner: “For the last time, you stupid dolt, this is not [Other Restaurant]. Stop coming to my store and yelling at my employees and customers!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave now.”

Customer: “Screw this s***! You’re all stupid f***s! You can all go to h***! I’ll never eat at [Other Restaurant] again! I’ll have your jobs, too!”

(Both Owner and I were left dumbfounded by the stupidity of this customer. Lucky for me, though, I got a free sandwich for having to deal with the stupid dolt!)

Must Have Been Smoking A Half-Pipe

| Denton, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work the front in a local computer repair shop and am in charge of answering phones and scheduling service. The phone rings and I answer.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you guys have any skateboards?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We are actually a computer repair company.”

Caller: “Oh…” *long pause* “So, do you guys have any skateboards?”

Me: “… No, sir. We only sell and work on computers.”

Caller: “Oh. Okay.” *hangs up*

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