Do You Have The Necronomicon: Canadian Edition?

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2019

Customer: “Do you have [Any Obscure, Out-Of-Print Book]?”

Me: “No, and it’s not likely that we will ever see it traded in here.”

Customer: “Really? Why not?”

Me: “Well, with a population in the area of less than 65,000, I usually only take in the mass-market paperbacks that people have bought at Costco or elsewhere, and then some others which we know that we can resell fairly quickly.”

Customer: “But there are so many good novels out there!”

Me: “Yes, at last estimate there are over ten million books currently in print. Which ones should I decide to stock in my 1,500 square-foot of store space? Let me help you with that answer: the most likely to sell and keep me in business.”

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I’m Detecting A Thriller, With Mystery Notes And A Hint Of Noir

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

Customer: “Where are all the books by British authors?”

Me: “If they are fiction, then in General Fiction; if mystery, then Mystery, etc.”

Customer: “You don’t separate them by country?”

Me: “Well, they don’t come in with a flag sticker or anything on them, so…”

Customer: “Then how will I know if they are British?”

Me: “This isn’t a liquor store, and these aren’t wines.”

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Put This Response Into A Book

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

(I work in a bookstore.)

Customer: “What was the name of that book that everyone was reading last year?”

Me: “Can you give me some small clue: a partial title, or author’s name, the story… Something?”

Customer: “You mean you don’t know?”

Me: “No, you don’t know.”

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A Complete Sellout

, , , , | Right | March 27, 2019

Customer: “How much are your books?”

Me: “All of them? Well, today only, I will give you a deal; say… $250,000?”

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This Story Would Be “Not Always Working” If It Was In A Library

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(I work in a bookstore.)

Customer: “You sure have a lot of books in here!”

Me: “Yes, I was thinking about selling some.”

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