I’ve only just begun working at a local community centre as a barista/front desk host. Among other things, our building houses a Dutch language class for immigrants. They get free coffee or tea during their breaks. The classes do have new people joining regularly, and since I’m fairly new, I always check with the customer if I’m not sure.

Also worthy of noting is that our U-shaped bar has the coffee machine on one side and the till on the far end.

I’m working near the coffee machine when a lady approaches.

Customer: *In a mixture of broken Dutch and English.* “Hot water. Is free, yes?”

Me: “Depends. Are you with [Language Class]?”

Customer: *Somehow looks appalled by the idea alone.* “Noo! No! I no in class. Why you even ask?”

Me: “In that case, I have to ring up your hot water as a tea. The till is on the other side, where my coworker will help you.”

Customer: “But is only water! Is free for me, yes?”

Me: “If you are not in [Class], then you must pay for your tea, ma’am.”

She continues to try to point out that water should be free, and she is ordering that, and not tea specifically. We serve our tea as just hot water, and people can select the flavour they want from the tea box a couple of steps to the right.

She keeps pointing at the coffee machine, repeating ‘hot water’ with an expectant smile, not making any move towards the till.

Feeling a little lost, I call for my coworker. Once the customer notices that, she tries another approach.

Customer: *In the most kiss-a**y tone possible.* “If I really have to, I will pay! I no thief. I have money, of course I pay!”

My coworker comes to rescue me, resolutely rings up the tea at the till, and summons the woman to pay. I look away for a second, and when I pay attention again, the woman is gone. I spot her at a table where she had already settled herself, and only there retrieves her wallet as slowly as possible, all the while shooting glances towards us.

When she finally comes back to the till, she huffs and puffs all throughout the transaction, obviously reluctant about it all but also boasting.

Customer: “See? I said I can pay!”

I go on with my duties and forget about it. 

A little later, I have to use the bathroom. On my way there, I pass the classroom for the Dutch lessons, and to my surprise, Miss “Noo! I no in class!” is sitting there.

When I come back, I ask my coworker about it.

Coworker: “Well, now you know our most difficult customer. She thinks she can get away with free drinks before and after class, which they are not entitled to, and always shows up late for the lessons. Sometimes she even makes her way behind the bar to help herself. She thought she could trick you since you were new. Glad you didn’t fall for it.”

One of my exercise routines is doing “Walk-A-Laps” at my local community center pool. More specifically, I have developed a routine of sets of laps for moving forward, backward, and sideways, all without actually swimming for resistance exercise.

Over the past few months, I’ve been going two or three times a week for thirty-plus minutes. Normally, the Walk-A-Lap designation is for the area not marked as a lap, but I have seen other swimmers using lap lanes for this kind of activity. I have shared lap lanes as said lanes are less shallow and I get a better workout in them. I’m perfectly happy with sharing lanes with other swimmers and don’t try to horn in on lanes if there are two swimmers in them. Most other pool-goers are gracious in sharing, as am I.

Not this one lady.

She is swimming solitary in the lap lane that I usually use. I think nothing of it and jump in, giving her a chance to see me to know that the lane will now be shared.

Lady: “Excuse me. This lap is for swimming. The Walk-a-Lap is over there.”

Me: “I usually use this lane for [swim walking].”

Lady: “You can’t be here if you’re not swimming laps.”

Me: “I’ve done this several times and haven’t had a complaint, until now.”

Lady: “I just don’t see why you would be here if you’re not going to swim laps.”

Me: “I get a better workout in this lane than I would in shallower water. I’m more than happy to share and make sure to stay out of your way.”

Lady: “You should be over there if you’re not going to swim laps.” 

Me: “Tell you what. I’ll get out of this lane as a one-time exception. But next time, we share.”

Lady: “…”

Me: “Is that an acceptable compromise?”

She nodded. I exited and salvaged some of my routine in the shallower area until I saw her leave the lane, at which point I took back my spot.

Later, another swimmer asked me if we could share the lane, to which I cheerfully agreed. I also got comments of bewilderment from fellow Walk-A-Lap swimmers and supportive conversations from kindred aqua pedestrians. 

In the end, I got a satisfying workout, made some allies, and asserted myself without resorting to any negative negotiation tactics. And I’m looking forward to swimming again in a couple of days!

CONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor

I was with a friend at his first support meeting for people with and families of people with cancer. As he introduced himself, he said:

Friend: “Rectal cancer is a real pain in the a**.”

Person #1: “Well, colon cancer makes you feel like s***.”

Person #2: “I still haven’t licked my tongue cancer.”

Person #3: “Well, my thyroid tumor is a pain in the neck.”

Nice to see the positive energy.

I ended up visiting the recreation center swimming pool on a pretty bad day. It was raining on and off, and it was kind of windy, but the pools were heated and the opportunity to do some laps while the pool was empty could not be ignored. It is worth noting that the pool tends to have high school students run their desks, one of the few jobs they can find and easily get.

On this day, the desk was run by one such student, and she was in tears when I walked in.

She had been cornered by an angry member who was yelling at her about the weather. She was screaming about how the [Review Site] pictures showed the property sunny and bright, not giving the employee time to get a word in as she chained insults, demands, and delusions together in a long and uninterrupted string.

I ended up stepping between them, which shocked the woman and caused her to stop yelling.

Me: *To the employee* “Hi! I’d like to get into the basketball court, please.”

Woman: “Excuse me?! I was—”

Me: *To the woman* “Shh!”

The woman looked shocked.

Me: *To the employee* “Can you please check if anyone is using it?”

Employee: “Yeah, yeah, I can check on that for you.”

Me: *Whispering* “Run away.”

The employee nodded at me and disappeared. She apparently went straight to the back (admittedly quite a distance) because the person who returned was a very unhappy adult.

Woman: “Finally! This boy rudely—”

Functional Adult: “OUT! Get out!”

Woman: “Excuse me?!”

Functional Adult: “If you don’t get the f*** out of my lobby, both of us are going to be leaving in f****** handcuffs, and you will not set foot in another f****** rec center again, you colossal f****** c***!”

The woman was stunned into silence, but the employee pulled his badge off and threw it on the floor along with his clipboard.

Functional Adult: “You’re going outside one way or another!”

The woman scurried away, hopped into a van, and drove off.

Functional Adult: “YOU!”

Me: “Me?”

Functional Adult: “I’m going to need you to write a witness statement for [Employer].”

Me: “Do you want me to leave out the part where you called her a ‘f****** c***’ and tried to throw hands?”

Functional Adult: “Write it in a way that I can keep my job if you’d be so kind.”

Me: “Of course.”

Functional Adult: “I need to tend to my Employee. Apparently, this had been ongoing for several minutes before you came in.”

Me: “Where were you?”

Functional Adult: “Machine room — couldn’t hear a d*** thing.”

This story is part of our Highest-Voted-Stories-Of-2024-(second half!) roundup!

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I work in a café connected to a community center. We have a charity weekend where a bunch of local charities will set up small kiosks and hand out flyers. I’m bringing coffee to an older lady who is rummaging through all the flyers she’s collected on the way in.

Me: “Here’s your latte, ma’am. Anything good in that pile?”

Customer: “No! Every time you see these groups saying they want to ‘fight hate’, they always end up going after people I voted for! I just don’t understand it…”

I didn’t pursue the matter…