Feel Free To Argue

, , , | Right | October 3, 2019

(I overhear the following at my local comic shop.)

Customer: “Where are all the comics at?”

Worker: “Well, our comic racks are over on that wall. Are you…”

Customer: “No! The free ones!”

Worker: “Uh, free ones? We do sometimes have sample comics, but we don’t…”

Customer: “There was a big table full of free comics just last week! Where are they?!”

Worker: *in a tone of realization* “Sir, are you talking about Free Comic Book Day? That was over a month ago, and it only happens once per year.”

Customer: *after several moments of silence* “So, where are they?”

Worker: *in a tone of exhaustion* “We don’t have any free comic books.”

(The customer kept glaring for a bit before stomping out of the store.)

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When Comic Book Stores Need Wakanda Shielding

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2019

(I am working in my closed comic book store, unpacking after a big convention.)

Door: “BANG! BANG! BANG!”

(I see a customer pounding at the locked door of the store.)

Phone: “Ring Ring Ring!”

(I ignore the phone while I unpack, but the banging and shouting continue. I go to the door and unlock it.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “No. We’re closed today. Sorry.”

Customer: “That’s okay; I can still buy stuff, right?”

Me: “No, we’re closed.”

Customer: “But you’re here, and the door is unlocked, so you must be open.”

Me: “I unlocked it so you wouldn’t break my windows. We’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh… Can I come in?”

Me: “No, we’re closed. Sorry.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you’re here, and I just want—”

Me: “I’m here unpacking a convention, the store is not safe for customers to come in, and we are closed. We are open tomorrow from ten to nine. Thanks.” *closes and locks the door*

Customer: *as he walks away* “What an a**hole!”

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Give Them An Inch And They’ll Ask For A Meter

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2019

(I work in a small comic book shop that is on a street that has metered street parking. I am doing my usual daily routine and a car parks outside of the store. Time passes and the meter officer comes around and sees that their meter is expired, waits a moment, and then proceeds to write them a ticket. These are all normal things that happen in this area because people either run out of time or don’t put money in it at all, so I think nothing of it. Then the family comes back, puts their child in the back seat, and then sees their ticket. I look up because the lady is now freaking out at her husband about how they got a ticket. They enter my store.)

Female Customer: “Why did you guys give me a ticket?! I paid!”

(I stare at her for a moment in pure confusion.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything to do with the tickets.”

Female Customer: “We parked right outside your store and had paid the meter behind us! We paid! Take back the ticket!”

Male Customer: “We just made a mistake and paid the wrong meter; there must be something you can do.”

(I’m still massively bewildered that they are coming to me. The woman is angry and yelling at me while the man tries to nicely ask for help.)

Me: “Um… That sucks, but I have nothing to do with the ticket or giving tickets or anything with parking. I just work at this store.”

Female Customer: “Yes! So, you can get rid of the ticket! We were outside your store!”

Me: “I don’t control the parking outside of my store; you’d have to call the number on the meter to try to get help or fight against your ticket.”

Female Customer:What?! Why do I have to call someone! You’re right here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I seriously have nothing to do with any of the meters or ticketing. I just work at this shop…”

Male Customer: “So, you can’t help us?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but there’s a number on the meter.”

Female Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! JUST ‘CAUSE WE PAID THE WRONG METER, I NOW HAVE A TICKET THAT I HAVE TO PAY MORE MONEY FOR, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN HELP US OUT?”

Me: “No.”

(Then, in the angriest huff I think she could manage, she pulled her husband out and started yelling more outside my store about how I was no help at all and that this area is ridiculous with our ticketing laws. Then, they drove off after almost hitting an oncoming car. Sometimes, I don’t understand how people don’t understand.)

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Knows Zero About Zatanna

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 17, 2018

(I’m one of the few female patrons of my local comic shop, and while the staff is awesome, the other patrons can be less so. I’ve just paid for my comics when the guy ahead of me pipes up.)

Customer:Arrow? That’s not a real comic book. You need someone to tell you about real comics.”

Me: “Who’s Zatanna?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Zatanna Zatara. Who is she?”

Customer: “I don’t know—”

Me: “She’s a magician, an extremely powerful logomancer, arguably the most powerful person in the DCU, and my favorite comic character. Sadly, she’s only ever appeared in an episode of Batman TAS and a couple of minor spots in Justice League, so only serious comic geeks know about her. And you didn’t buy anything but Marvel tie-ins.”

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Accio Freckles!

, , , , , | Friendly | November 11, 2017

(Like many redheads, I have freckles, but the darkest ones are on my arms. I’m sitting in a comic shop with my husband and some friends, waiting for the [Trading Card Game] event to start, when a guy that’s new to the area starts talking to me.)

Guy: “So… is your hair naturally red?”

Friend: “[Guy]! That’s rude!”

Me: *waving it off* “I get asked that all the time.” *to the guy* “Yeah, it is.”

Guy: “Well, then, why are your eyebrows brown?”

Me: *shrugging* “I dunno. They were nearly the same color as my hair when I was younger, but as I’ve gotten older, my hair’s gotten brighter and brighter to the point it looks closer to orange, whereas my eyebrows have gone more auburn.”

Guy: “Where are your freckles? I thought redheads had freckles?”

(Upon hearing this, my husband, who has been having a totally different conversation, grabs my arm, holds it up, and points at the freckles.)

Husband: “If she doesn’t have freckles, what are those? Chickenpox?”

Guy: *shaking his head* “No, I meant on her face.”

Me: *waving my hand in front of my face* “Yes, I do have freckles on my face. They’re just super light.”

(The guy’s eyes suddenly bug out as he stares at my face.)

Guy: *gasps* “Witchcraft! You didn’t have freckles a minute ago!”

Me: *chuckles* “Yes, I did. You just didn’t see them.”

Guy: *skeptical* “I guess.”

(He gets up and wanders away, and my husband laughs.)

Husband: “I think if you were a witch, you’d do more interesting tricks than that, right?”

Me: “D*** straight. I’d make my hair literally fiery. Like Chandra’s.”

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