My Super Villain Wife

| OR, USA | Romantic | October 24, 2016

(I really dislike Superman as a character, which my husband knows. We both play a collectible figure strategy game that has characters largely based on comic books and movies (as well some video games and other stuff). The pieces are referred to as Clix. I do have a great love of Batman and his villains, and most of my own collection reflects that. I refuse to take in any Superman pieces, though, with the exception of one.)

Husband: *opening a box from a new set* “Hey, check this one out. Superman’s all infected with Kryptonite.”

Me: *I grab the card that accompanies the piece and explains his abilities, and laugh* “Nope! Figures, he’s actually under Poison Ivy’s control. How does he always wind up like that? It’s so ridiculous. I hate him.”

Husband: “Why is that again?”

Me: “He’s touted as being super and infallible but he usually either winds up under someone’s control or loses his temper and goes nuts! There’s even a whole video game where he becomes a tyrannical dictator and melts Shazam’s face in one of the cut-scenes! He sucks.”

Husband: *holds the piece out to me* “You do like Poison Ivy though, and he pairs up with her.”

Me: “Hmmm… I do…” *takes the piece* “I shall call him B**** Superman. Because he’s Poison Ivy’s b****.”

Husband: *laughs* “Okay, you have fun with that.”

Not Your Most Productive Employee

| Kent, England, UK | Working | May 26, 2016

(I’m the owner of a comic book store that’s going through hard times. In addition, one of my workers recently quit because I couldn’t pay him enough for him to support his family, which I understood and we parted on good terms. He still comes in when we host card game tournaments. Then one night…)

Employee: “Hey, I saw that [Former Coworker] is here?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Employee: “You know he got a job at [Competitor], right?”

Me: *saddened* “Oh… well, good for him, I suppose.”

Employee: “Yeah, but he’s also upstairs right now selling their products in our shop!”

(Just goes to show that being nice to people rarely gets you anything.)

Save Face

| England, UK | Working | April 19, 2016

(Our local comic shop has a 10% ‘loyalty’ discount – if you go in often enough that the people working there recognise you, you get a discount. My older sister is a regular, but I am not. I go in to purchase some dice for a game I play.)

Worker: *unsure* “Oh, I see you in here a lot, don’t I?”

Me: “Uh, no, but my older sister is here all the time. I come in about once a month for tournaments.”

Worker: “Oh, yeah, short dark hair, right? You have really similar faces.”

(This is true, so I don’t think much of it, selecting my £10 worth of dice.)

Worker: *ringing me up* “Okay, that’s £9. I recognised you, so it counts, right?”

(I guess I get a loyalty discount by association now!)

Got A Good Reading On Reading

| NJ, USA | Friendly | October 20, 2015

(My boyfriend and I are in a small comic book store looking around. A family with two little girls are also looking around and are in the kids’ section. The older one remarks that a lot of the comic book covers are creepy. We then hear this gem.)

Little Girl: “It’s a good thing I haven’t learned how to read yet!”

Boyfriend: *remarking quietly* “Never heard that said as a brag before.”

Magic: The Happening

| LA, USA | Friendly | October 11, 2015

(My boyfriend has decided the best way to help me learn how to build my own deck is to take me to a Magic: the Gathering draft event. We start the draft and everything is going smoothly until the guy on my right slows progress. Note: unlike most present, I don’t look nerdy in the slightest.)

Guy: *starts to hand me the next pack* “No! Wait!” *pulls it back and swaps cards* “Here!” *offers them to me again then snatches them and swaps cards again* “Sorry! I just don’t know which one I want!”

Me: *irritated, in perfect mimicry of Gollum’s voice* “Is it going to give us the cards or isn’t it, precious?”

(Cue bewildered stares from everyone in the room except for my boyfriend, who laughs.)

Boyfriend: *grinning* “Yeah, she does that.”

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