Undergoing A Transformation

| Working | June 4, 2015

(I’ve liked comics since I was a little girl but I’d always been too shy to go to a comic store, for various reasons. I finally wander into one to get a birthday present for my sister and have a terrible time finding it until I swallow my embarrassment and ask for help. Shyly, I ask him where they keep the Transformers comics.)

Cashier: *surprised* ” People don’t usually ask for those! We might be out, but I’ll show you where they would be.”

(Sure enough, I find exactly what I am looking for. I start coming in pretty regularly during lunch break, always looking for Transformers comics. Then one afternoon, I walk in and find one issue of the newest comic. I grab it, and when I turn around, the cashier is grinning.)

Cashier: “I always order extra Transformers now.”

(Needless to say, I will continue frequenting that store.)

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Costs Five Mana To Raisin From The Dead

| Friendly | February 23, 2015

(My friend and I are shopping for new board games. We’ve asked a store employee for recommendations based on other games we both like.)

Employee: “Well, you can try the D&D-based games. We have Lords of Waterdeep and Castle Ravenloft.”

(We browse the games.)

Friend: “I found Lords of Waterdeep, but I can’t find where they put Castle Raisin Loaf…”

(We’ve been inserting the word ‘raisin’ into all of our board game titles since.)

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My Little Pokémon

| Friendly | February 3, 2015

(My nephew, following his sisters, is a huge My Little Pony fan, which no one in the family really minds. I myself have watched the show and deemed nothing really wrong with it. I’m out babysitting him while his sisters are at gymnastics practice and we go in a comic shop. He grabs a figure for Pinkie Pie, his favorite pony, and asks me to buy it. He takes it to the counter, but before we can put it up, the figure it is snatched out of his hands by the woman next to us.)

Me: “Hey! What the heck are you doing?”

Lady: “How dare you encourage this little boy?! Buying him girl stuff!”

Me: “Lady, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that you were the one who gave birth to him. Oh wait, you weren’t. So, tell me what business of yours it is, again?”

Lady: “It’s my business when I see some tramp trying to turn her son into a d*** [homophobic slur]! Giving him this stupid girl toy! You should be arrested for child abuse!”

Me: “Okay, one, he’s my nephew; two, it’s none of your business; and three, you’re an idiot. If you’re so high and mighty, what the h*** are YOU buying in here!?” *I snatch the figure back*

Lady: “I’m buying a Pokémon game for my daughter. What business is it of yours?

(By this point, the cashier seems to have had enough and leans over the counter.)

Cashier: “So, let me get this straight, lady. You disapprove of boys playing with things predominantly aimed at little girls, but you’ve got no problem with girls playing with things predominantly aimed at little boys?”

Lady: “What? That’s got nothing to do with it!”

Cashier: “Sure it does. My Little Pony: spunky little horse goes into the world, makes friends with cutesy creatures, and learns lessons. Pokémon: spunky little kid goes into the world, makes friends with cutesy creatures, and learns lessons. They’re practically the same thing, lady.”

Lady: “MY LITTLE PONY IS FOR F****** AND PEDOPHILES AND YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR SUPPORTING IT!”

(My nephew has come back over by this point and her screaming has scared him, making him cry. The lady whirls toward the door and slams him over in the process, storming out with a huff. I pick up my sobbing nephew. He’s not really hurt, but he’s pretty shaken.)

Cashier: “Hey, little guy, wanna know a secret?”

Nephew: *sniffling* “What?”

Cashier: “I think Pinkie Pie is the best.”

Nephew: *eyes light up though he’s still sniffling* “Pinkie Pie’s funny…

(We stayed a little while chatting about My Little Pony. The store had a viewing section in the corner and the cashier put on a DVD of MLP episodes for my nephew to watch, during which the cashier and I discussed how absurd the hatred is for the show and how funny pony-phobes can get when it’s brought up. Before we left, he slipped the Pinkie Pie figure into the plastic bag with my stuff and winked at us. Best. Cashier. Ever.)

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Time To Pony Up To Your Bad Behavior

| Working | January 9, 2015

(I walk up to the register at a comic book store. I am a 23-year-old man buying My Little Pony comics for my 12-year-old niece’s birthday. When I walk up to the register the cashier looks at me in disgust.)

Cashier: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’d like to purchase these.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I can’t sell you those; they’re for little girls.”

Me: “Well, that’s why I’m buying them. I was just—”

Cashier: “Look man; just get out and save face while you can. You’ve already embarrassed yourself enough today.”

Me: *quite agitated now* “This is ridiculous. Can I speak to the owner?”

Cashier: “I am the owner. Just get out of my store.”

(At this point the owner speaks up. He was behind a shelf watching the whole transaction and knew what was going on.)

Owner: “Actually, I’m the owner. [Cashier], go ahead and wait for me in my office.”

(The cashier stomps into the back room.)

Owner: “Sorry about that. He’s pretended to be the owner before; I was trying to catch him in the act so I had something to go off of.”

Me: “I’m glad I could help!”

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Initial Fears Were Just Comical

| Working | September 30, 2014

(I used to be afraid to go into comic book stores, because as a girl, I worried that I would be judged/mocked for not knowing where my favorite comics were. I finally got up the guts to go into one, but discovered that Transformers comics were in somewhat short supply there. Over the next two months, the following conversations took place:)

Me: “H-hi… um… Are there any new Transformers comics?”

Owner: “Afraid not. I don’t order that many because not a lot of people buy them offline. I usually bought an older issue so as not to waste time.”

(Later that month:)

Me: “Any Transformers books today?”

Owner: ” Nothing new.”

(Still later:)

Me: “Oh, my gosh! This is the newest issue! I thought these were sold out?”

Owner: “Nah, I always order extra now.”

(Then I decided to order a particular series they didn’t carry in the store. An employee rang up my purchase and told me that there was a small extra charge for ordering online.)

Owner: “Nah, I recognize her. Skip the charge and just put it in next week’s bulk order.”

(Now he does that every time I order a comic!)

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