Time To Trample His Misogyny

, , , , | Right | April 22, 2019

(My fiancé and I have gone to our local comic shop and gaming store to play in a “Magic: The Gathering” draft tournament. After everyone has signed up and paid, the owner tells us to take a seat at the tables so that he and his employee can pass out the packs of cards. As he’s handing out packs, the shop employee taps a guy on the shoulder and points at the girl sitting next to him.)

Employee: “She’s not playing, so she can’t sit there.” *shrugs* “I’m not saying you’d cheat, but those are the rules so that people aren’t tempted to cheat.”

Guy: “Oh, okay.” *to the girl* “Sorry, baby.”

Girl: “That’s okay. I’m just going to take the car and go grab something to eat, okay?”

(She gets up and starts to leave the shop. The guy watches her go and notices me as she walks past me.)

Guy: *suddenly pointing at me* “Hey! If my girlfriend can’t sit with me, then she can’t sit with him!”

Employee: *without looking up from what he’s doing* “Yes, she can. She’s playing.”

Guy: *scowling* “But you made my girlfriend leave!”

Employee: *rolls his eyes* “I said she’s playing. If you want your girlfriend to sit with you, go pay [Shop Owner] $15 so she can play.”

Guy: *scoffs* “My girlfriend doesn’t want to play Magic.”

Employee: *pointing at me* “Well, she does want to play and has paid her $15, so she can sit right there with her man if she wants to.”

Guy: *grumbling* “It’s not fair.”

Employee: *groans* “Life’s not fair. But she’s paid her money and it wouldn’t be fair for me to make her leave.”

(The guy starts to complain again but a friend of ours, who is sitting next to him, cuts him off.)

Friend: *annoyed* “Oh, my God, shut up! She’s in here with him all the time! She legitimately knows what she’s doing and paid to sit her a** in that chair, so shut the f*** up or do us all a favor and leave!

(The guy sulked the rest of the evening and even pouted when I came in fourth place.)

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Give Them An Inch And They’ll Ask For A Meter

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2019

(I work in a small comic book shop that is on a street that has metered street parking. I am doing my usual daily routine and a car parks outside of the store. Time passes and the meter officer comes around and sees that their meter is expired, waits a moment, and then proceeds to write them a ticket. These are all normal things that happen in this area because people either run out of time or don’t put money in it at all, so I think nothing of it. Then the family comes back, puts their child in the back seat, and then sees their ticket. I look up because the lady is now freaking out at her husband about how they got a ticket. They enter my store.)

Female Customer: “Why did you guys give me a ticket?! I paid!”

(I stare at her for a moment in pure confusion.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything to do with the tickets.”

Female Customer: “We parked right outside your store and had paid the meter behind us! We paid! Take back the ticket!”

Male Customer: “We just made a mistake and paid the wrong meter; there must be something you can do.”

(I’m still massively bewildered that they are coming to me. The woman is angry and yelling at me while the man tries to nicely ask for help.)

Me: “Um… That sucks, but I have nothing to do with the ticket or giving tickets or anything with parking. I just work at this store.”

Female Customer: “Yes! So, you can get rid of the ticket! We were outside your store!”

Me: “I don’t control the parking outside of my store; you’d have to call the number on the meter to try to get help or fight against your ticket.”

Female Customer:What?! Why do I have to call someone! You’re right here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I seriously have nothing to do with any of the meters or ticketing. I just work at this shop…”

Male Customer: “So, you can’t help us?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but there’s a number on the meter.”

Female Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! JUST ‘CAUSE WE PAID THE WRONG METER, I NOW HAVE A TICKET THAT I HAVE TO PAY MORE MONEY FOR, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN HELP US OUT?”

Me: “No.”

(Then, in the angriest huff I think she could manage, she pulled her husband out and started yelling more outside my store about how I was no help at all and that this area is ridiculous with our ticketing laws. Then, they drove off after almost hitting an oncoming car. Sometimes, I don’t understand how people don’t understand.)

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Knows Zero About Zatanna

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 17, 2018

(I’m one of the few female patrons of my local comic shop, and while the staff is awesome, the other patrons can be less so. I’ve just paid for my comics when the guy ahead of me pipes up.)

Customer:Arrow? That’s not a real comic book. You need someone to tell you about real comics.”

Me: “Who’s Zatanna?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Zatanna Zatara. Who is she?”

Customer: “I don’t know—”

Me: “She’s a magician, an extremely powerful logomancer, arguably the most powerful person in the DCU, and my favorite comic character. Sadly, she’s only ever appeared in an episode of Batman TAS and a couple of minor spots in Justice League, so only serious comic geeks know about her. And you didn’t buy anything but Marvel tie-ins.”

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Magic: The Embarrassing

, , , , , | Friendly | January 30, 2018

(I am a girl who has grown up as a nerd from a young age, enjoying comics, card games, etc. I go to a comic book store where I’m a regular, to play Magic: The Gathering. Since I’m a girl, a lot of guys tend to think I’m a ditz and that I have no idea how to play the game. We have just finished “drafting” and creating our decks, and I am extremely confident in my deck. I am assigned to play with a guy I’ve never seen before.)

Guy: “Hi, I’m [Guy]. You’re [My Name]?”  

Me: “Hi, [Guy]. Yes, nice to meet you.”

Guy: “Okay, so, I’m guessing you’re new to the game. I’m willing to go easy on you so you can at least have the first round.”

(All the guys who know me just kind of chuckle under their breath, knowing that he has just signed a death warrant.)

Me: *in my best ditz voice* “Oh, thank you. I was so worried; I’ve never, like, played this game. I just came along with my dad.”

(I gesture to one of the guys close by.)

Guy: “Oh, that’s sweet. Dad-daughter time.”

Me: “Yeah.”

(We begin to play. As he promised, he goes easy on me, and I win. But he also lets me see a lot of his good cards, whereas I haven’t played mine, because I want him to believe I am bad. We continue to the next game, and he’s no longer going easy on me. He realizes over this round that I am now putting out heavy hitters and excellent combos. As I’m about to win, he stands up.)

Guy: “YOU’RE A CHEATER!”

Me: “How?”

Guy: “You had your dad build your deck! You’re supposed to make your own!”

Me: “Actually, [Guy I pointed out earlier] isn’t my dad. He’s someone who knows me because I constantly come here and win. I have done so for at least six months, now.”

Guy: “You aren’t new, then! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t assume that, because I have boobs, I don’t know how to play something. It’s extremely sexist. Now. Are you going to let me finish the game, or are you going to run out the door with your tail between your legs?”

(At this point he is looking around for support, and the owner says:)

Owner: “Maybe you shouldn’t be a sexist d**k!”

Guy: *looks at me* “You b****! *stands up and huffs out*

Owner: *yells to customer as he leaves* “I hope you learned your lesson!”

(He tried to come the next week. He opened the door, only to see me sitting there, facing the door, smiling. He automatically turned around and left, and he didn’t come back again. It’s always nice to put those type of guys in their place.)

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Accio Freckles!

, , , , , | Friendly | November 11, 2017

(Like many redheads, I have freckles, but the darkest ones are on my arms. I’m sitting in a comic shop with my husband and some friends, waiting for the [Trading Card Game] event to start, when a guy that’s new to the area starts talking to me.)

Guy: “So… is your hair naturally red?”

Friend: “[Guy]! That’s rude!”

Me: *waving it off* “I get asked that all the time.” *to the guy* “Yeah, it is.”

Guy: “Well, then, why are your eyebrows brown?”

Me: *shrugging* “I dunno. They were nearly the same color as my hair when I was younger, but as I’ve gotten older, my hair’s gotten brighter and brighter to the point it looks closer to orange, whereas my eyebrows have gone more auburn.”

Guy: “Where are your freckles? I thought redheads had freckles?”

(Upon hearing this, my husband, who has been having a totally different conversation, grabs my arm, holds it up, and points at the freckles.)

Husband: “If she doesn’t have freckles, what are those? Chickenpox?”

Guy: *shaking his head* “No, I meant on her face.”

Me: *waving my hand in front of my face* “Yes, I do have freckles on my face. They’re just super light.”

(The guy’s eyes suddenly bug out as he stares at my face.)

Guy: *gasps* “Witchcraft! You didn’t have freckles a minute ago!”

Me: *chuckles* “Yes, I did. You just didn’t see them.”

Guy: *skeptical* “I guess.”

(He gets up and wanders away, and my husband laughs.)

Husband: “I think if you were a witch, you’d do more interesting tricks than that, right?”

Me: “D*** straight. I’d make my hair literally fiery. Like Chandra’s.”

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