Time To Trample His Misogyny

, , , , | Right | April 22, 2019

(My fiancé and I have gone to our local comic shop and gaming store to play in a “Magic: The Gathering” draft tournament. After everyone has signed up and paid, the owner tells us to take a seat at the tables so that he and his employee can pass out the packs of cards. As he’s handing out packs, the shop employee taps a guy on the shoulder and points at the girl sitting next to him.)

Employee: “She’s not playing, so she can’t sit there.” *shrugs* “I’m not saying you’d cheat, but those are the rules so that people aren’t tempted to cheat.”

Guy: “Oh, okay.” *to the girl* “Sorry, baby.”

Girl: “That’s okay. I’m just going to take the car and go grab something to eat, okay?”

(She gets up and starts to leave the shop. The guy watches her go and notices me as she walks past me.)

Guy: *suddenly pointing at me* “Hey! If my girlfriend can’t sit with me, then she can’t sit with him!”

Employee: *without looking up from what he’s doing* “Yes, she can. She’s playing.”

Guy: *scowling* “But you made my girlfriend leave!”

Employee: *rolls his eyes* “I said she’s playing. If you want your girlfriend to sit with you, go pay [Shop Owner] $15 so she can play.”

Guy: *scoffs* “My girlfriend doesn’t want to play Magic.”

Employee: *pointing at me* “Well, she does want to play and has paid her $15, so she can sit right there with her man if she wants to.”

Guy: *grumbling* “It’s not fair.”

Employee: *groans* “Life’s not fair. But she’s paid her money and it wouldn’t be fair for me to make her leave.”

(The guy starts to complain again but a friend of ours, who is sitting next to him, cuts him off.)

Friend: *annoyed* “Oh, my God, shut up! She’s in here with him all the time! She legitimately knows what she’s doing and paid to sit her a** in that chair, so shut the f*** up or do us all a favor and leave!

(The guy sulked the rest of the evening and even pouted when I came in fourth place.)

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Magic: The Embarrassing

, , , , , | Friendly | January 30, 2018

(I am a girl who has grown up as a nerd from a young age, enjoying comics, card games, etc. I go to a comic book store where I’m a regular, to play Magic: The Gathering. Since I’m a girl, a lot of guys tend to think I’m a ditz and that I have no idea how to play the game. We have just finished “drafting” and creating our decks, and I am extremely confident in my deck. I am assigned to play with a guy I’ve never seen before.)

Guy: “Hi, I’m [Guy]. You’re [My Name]?”  

Me: “Hi, [Guy]. Yes, nice to meet you.”

Guy: “Okay, so, I’m guessing you’re new to the game. I’m willing to go easy on you so you can at least have the first round.”

(All the guys who know me just kind of chuckle under their breath, knowing that he has just signed a death warrant.)

Me: *in my best ditz voice* “Oh, thank you. I was so worried; I’ve never, like, played this game. I just came along with my dad.”

(I gesture to one of the guys close by.)

Guy: “Oh, that’s sweet. Dad-daughter time.”

Me: “Yeah.”

(We begin to play. As he promised, he goes easy on me, and I win. But he also lets me see a lot of his good cards, whereas I haven’t played mine, because I want him to believe I am bad. We continue to the next game, and he’s no longer going easy on me. He realizes over this round that I am now putting out heavy hitters and excellent combos. As I’m about to win, he stands up.)


Me: “How?”

Guy: “You had your dad build your deck! You’re supposed to make your own!”

Me: “Actually, [Guy I pointed out earlier] isn’t my dad. He’s someone who knows me because I constantly come here and win. I have done so for at least six months, now.”

Guy: “You aren’t new, then! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t assume that, because I have boobs, I don’t know how to play something. It’s extremely sexist. Now. Are you going to let me finish the game, or are you going to run out the door with your tail between your legs?”

(At this point he is looking around for support, and the owner says:)

Owner: “Maybe you shouldn’t be a sexist d**k!”

Guy: *looks at me* “You b****! *stands up and huffs out*

Owner: *yells to customer as he leaves* “I hope you learned your lesson!”

(He tried to come the next week. He opened the door, only to see me sitting there, facing the door, smiling. He automatically turned around and left, and he didn’t come back again. It’s always nice to put those type of guys in their place.)

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Could Only Happen In A Comic

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I am the collections buyer for a comic book store. This involves going through however many comics the customer brings us. I ALWAYS tell the customer they are not going to get market value for their comics, and I give them options of where they can go to get market value, or close to it, for their comics. One day I am with a repeat customer. We get on well and chat away while I am checking his collection. Halfway through, a teenager comes up to me and thrusts a handful of comics in my face. Literally, he is holding them in his hands. They are dripping with moisture. The pages are dark brown, bits are falling off, and all I can smell now is mold and acid.)

Customer: “How much for these?”

Me: “Nothing. I’m not going to buy them off of you.”

Customer: “How much? They’re comics!”

Me: “Sir, they are falling apart! They are unreadable.”

Customer: “How much will you buy them for?”

Me: “If I buy those off of you, my bosses will fire me within the hour.”

Customer: “You have to buy them! They’re comics!”

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One Day A Female Comic Book Fan Won’t Be Such A Marvel

, , , | Friendly | September 21, 2017

(I am a woman in my mid-twenties. I recently decided that I wanted to learn about superhero comic books. They seemed like something I would like, so I started into the comic book world, not knowing what I was really doing. I read books from the library for a while and learned about the universes a bit, and then, feeling that I had a little bit of footing, went to a comic book store to buy some of my own. I get to the comic book store and realize that it’s more overwhelming than I ever imagined. I have come from a meetup with friends, so I am wearing makeup, heels, and a dress. I go up to the desk and smile.)

Me: “Hi. I’m new the comic book world, and I was wondering if you’d be able to help me choose.”

(The words are like magic, and the man’s smile lights up, and four other customers also flock to me.)

Store Employee: “What have you read, what do you like, and what haven’t you liked?”

Me: “I’ve mostly enjoyed superheroes.”

Store Employee: “DC or Marvel? Which heroes?”

Me: “I tend to like heroes that are good to their cores. So, I haven’t enjoyed Deadpool or Iron Man, because they’re selfish people that just end up helping by accident. I like Captain America a fair bit, but my favorite is Hawkeye, because he’s good without needing praise. I like Marvel more, because DC has intricate villains, but really vanilla heroes. That’s why I like Hawkeye. He’s clinically depressed; no one has diagnosed him, but he still fights through and saves people.”

(They spent fifteen minutes telling me about their favorite series and helping me navigate all the different sub-universes within the universes, and they were fantastically helpful. I also had three of them ask for my number.)

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