She’s Really Pushing It

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 6, 2019

(My family has gathered to celebrate a birthday, and I go with my fifteen-year-old cousin to buy a cake. Since it’s quite busy, I tell my cousin to get in line for the registers while I go and pick the cake. Just as I’m getting in line with her, a middle-aged woman cuts the line right in front. My cousin speaks up but the woman just tells her to get out of her way. I tell my cousin to just let it go, and when she asks why, I say, loudly:)

Me: “Well… it’s clear that she’s in such a hurry, she can’t wait any longer and felt it necessary to be rude to other people and cut the line. If we let her go before us, we get to be the kind young people who let an older lady who’s in a hurry go first, while she ends up as the one who shouted and almost pushed a fifteen-year-old girl.”

(The woman, as was my intention, heard me and began to shout at me and my cousin. The manager approached her and asked her to leave, because she had cut the line and was annoying the other customers.)


Not Even Partially Apologetic

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I work in a retail pharmacy in a suburban city. A lot of snobbish, entitled people come through our line every day, thinking they are God’s gifts to the world and that we should feel honored to bend over backward and kiss their a**es. It’s a Sunday afternoon, during a slow hour in the late summer. It’s just me and my pharmacist working today. I’m helping someone in our drive-thru, so the pharmacist helps this guy who comes up to the counter. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up the person I’m helping.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, there! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m picking up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks up the guy’s name in the system and goes to retrieve his script* “Just so you know, sir, we didn’t have the full quantity of this medication in stock, so we had to give you a partial supply. We should have the rest in tomorrow morning, though.”

Customer: *raising his voice* “You know, this is bulls***. I got a phone call saying that my prescription was ready in full, but every time I come here, you guys only have a part of the d*** thing!”

Pharmacist: “I do apologize, sir. Are you sure the phone call said it was done in full?”

Customer: “What, do you think I’m stupid?! Of course it did! Here, listen!”

(He pulled out his phone and replayed the voicemail on speaker so we could hear. It very clearly stated that the prescription was ready for a PARTIAL FILL. Obviously flushed and embarrassed, the guy tried to brush it off like it was still our fault, paid for his partial, and left. My pharmacist paraded that little victory around for the rest of the year.)

Can’t Say No To Her Puppy-Dog Eyes

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I am standing at the front desk of our hotel, getting maintenance reports from the night before, when a lady comes up to the desk, walks right up to me, and says:)

Lady: “I thought this was a no-pet hotel?”

(I am a little shocked because she is maybe a foot away from my face. I back up a couple steps.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are a pet-free hotel.”

(She raises her eyebrows, and cocks her head.)

Lady: “Then why did I just see a f****** dog on my floor?!”

(After asking her what room she’s in, I realize she is three doors down from a frequent guest who is in a wheelchair and has a service dog. The front desk agent and I tell her it’s a service animal. The lady goes off on us that she and her whole group are allergic to dogs and they came to this hotel because we do not allow pets in our hotel. We explain that we cannot deny service animals. There is a little crowd forming in the lobby… including the guests’ fourteen-year-old daughter. Trying to end this quickly and quietly, we offer to move the lady rooms, but she refuses and demands that the guest with the dog be thrown out of the hotel for violating the no-pet policy. At this point the daughter walks up to her.)

Daughter: “Excuse me, I’m sorry my dad’s service dog is upsetting you. He lets us know when my dad is starting to have a seizure so we can help him through it. I wish we could change rooms, but we need it because it’s wheelchair accessible.”

(Another guest listening to what’s going on let out a long “Wooooooowwwww” from behind the angry lady. She turned beet red, turned, and walked away. The front desk agent and I talked to the daughter and apologized and hoped she wasn’t angry. The daughter told us it was no problem. The front desk agent and I both told her we wished we could have told the lady off like that.)

A Little Calling Out Is Good For Your Mental Health

, , , , , | Right | February 1, 2019

(I work the back drive-thru a lot, so any trainees looking to learn it have to come to me. Today, I’m training a nice girl on a busy day when she points out that one of my coworkers is getting screamed at by a customer for multitasking.)


(He drives up and I get angry. I turn to the trainee and tell her to watch. As soon as he pulls up, I start cashing him out but pretend to draw a mental blank.)

Me: “God, sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to space out. I just had some lady scream and cuss at me because she drove twenty minutes down the road and chilled before eating her fries. She blamed us for them getting cold! I’m glad I have this sweet girl here with me because I wanted to cry.”

(The man is silent and has a look of shock on his face. The trainee leaves as not to laugh.)

Me: “It hurts when people scream at us for things we can’t control… Such as them ordering wrong or us being a little slow from multitasking. Some of us can’t handle the abuse. Minimum wage isn’t worth bad mental health.”

(I give him his change and smile while he looks down in shame.)

Me: “You have an absolutely perfect day! And sorry for that wait!”

Been Killing These Scams Since The 90s

, , , , , , | Legal | January 31, 2019

(This happened in 2017 when those scam callers claiming to be the IRS were calling people about unpaid taxes. They tried to pull it on me and this is how it turned out.)

Scammer: “Hello, I’m calling for [My Name].”

Me: “One moment, please.”

Scammer: “Okay.”

Me: *starts playing a scene from the 90’s movie “Good Burger”* “Look out; he’s loose!” “Goodness gracious! He’s killing Sydney!” *crashing noise*

Scammer: “Sir, is everything all right?”

Me: *panting like I’m out of breath* “Yeah, just another day at the psych ward. Now, you were saying?”

Scammer: *hangs up*

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