The Scam Of David

, , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(My husband and I answer the phone at the same time. He speaks before I do, so I just listen to the standard beginning of the “Microsoft Support” scam call. When the caller says his name is David, I break into the conversation:)

Me: “Can you spell that?”

(He begins his spiel again. When he repeats his alleged name, I again ask him to spell it.)

Caller: *total silence for a full minute, then a click*

(Possibly the fastest I’ve ever gotten a nuisance caller to hang up!)

Race-ing Through The Drive-Thru

, , , , , | Right | December 20, 2017

(I work in drive-through with a lot of immigrant workers mostly from Asia. I’m white.)

Customer: *pulls up to my window* “Oh, thank God, a real white Australian girl. Finally! You have too many Asians at this store; they can’t even speak English!”

Me: “Um… That’s [total]. Please drive forward.”

(I go up to my [white] manager to complain about how racist the customers are.)

Manager: “Okay, one second.” *speaking in headset* “[Coworker], can you hand these coffees out?”

(A Chinese coworker hands out the coffees to some very angry racist customers.)

Manager: “And that’s how you piss off racist people.”

A Decision To Have The Perfect Comeback

, , , , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(I have just gotten off the phone with a solicitation call. While I know it is a solicitation call, my boss requires me to take down all messages and make notes on all the phone calls I receive. I’m then to pass the messages along with my notes to the appropriate individuals and let them handle things from there. This message is for an attorney who is known for being a jerk towards non-attorneys, whereas his paralegal is a sweet older woman who doesn’t put up with his attitude. Per protocol, I make my way to deliver the message to the paralegal who is standing around chatting with the attorney. They both look over the message and the attorney scoffs.)

Attorney: “Let me ask you something: do you think I’m going to call this person back?”

Me: “Honestly, no. As my notes say, the caller was trying to solicit information about one of our clients and became flustered when I wouldn’t give any. However, I believe a note should be should be made in the client’s file in the event that it happens again.”

Attorney: “So, if you know all that, why do you bother [Paralegal] and me with these kind of things?”

(I can tell the paralegal is going to speak up, but my mouth gets the better of me and I cannot help being direct.)

Me: “If you choose to throw away the message and not do anything, it’s called a decision, and you move on. If I choose to do the same, it’s called job incompetence, and I risk being let go. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to get back to work.”

(I turned around and headed towards my desk. As I was walking away, I could hear the paralegal laughing and telling the attorney he deserved my attitude.)

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Daddy Isn’t Welcome Here

, , , , , | Romantic | December 14, 2017

(I’m taking orders at the front end of the food stand, while the owner works the grill next to me, and my coworker — a burly middle-aged man — does prep at the back of the tent. I’m a female in my mid-20s, I have a lot of health issues, and my coworkers are a little protective of me.)

Customer: “I’d like one chocolate and one vanilla custard.”

Me: “Great, that’ll be $5. There’s about a three-minute wait. Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: *winks lecherously* “Call me ‘Daddy.’ It’s pretty loud out here; you might have to scream it.”

Me: “Next customer, please!”

(I keep serving, but I’m thoroughly creeped out. After a few minutes, the guy’s order comes up, and the owner notices me turning pale when he hands the food to me. After a quick explanation, he tells me to go take a break at the back. He then calls up my coworker and they talk briefly.)

Coworker: *bellowing* “Hey, Daddy!”

(The customer walks up, looking nervous.)

Coworker: “Here’s your $5. We are refusing you service.”

Customer: “What? No! I want my food! Make her serve me my food!”

Coworker: “Sir, my daughter is not going to serve you food. My son, on the grill, is not going to make you food. Take your money and get out, a**hole.”

Customer: “F***!” *storms off*

(He left his $5 behind. I got his food AND the money.)

Not “Easy” To Insult Someone With No “Soul”

, , , , | Right | December 12, 2017

(There are a two teen girls who like to give me a hard time at work because I refuse to sell them cigarettes.)

Teen #1: *smiling sweetly* “Hi! Can I get a pack of [Brand] lights?”

Me: “Do you have an ID?”

Teen #2: *scoffs* “You’re the only one who IDs us!”

Me: “Well, I’m the only one who’s doing her job properly, then.”

Teen #1: *smirking* “Do you have a soul? I heard gingers have no soul.”

Me: *without skipping a beat* “Are you easy as 1-2-3? Because I’ve heard blondes are easy.”

([Teen #2] started laughing like a maniac while [Teen #1] stomped out of the store. Neither of them have tried buying cigarettes from me or insulting me again.)

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