A Cashless Karmic Transaction

, , , , | Friendly | June 22, 2018

(It is December, and holiday gift shopping is in full swing. I’m minding my own business, paying with cash in a store.)

Customer: *behind me, scoffs* “Who uses cash anymore these days? Get with the times.”

(I ignore her and continue on my way to another store nearby. I’m in line to pay when the cashier announces that the electronic payment system is down. Later I learn this isn’t just the store’s problem, but stores across the entire country are having issues. They’re currently serving all customers who can pay with cash first while working on a solution for those who can’t. Coincidentally, the same customer is in the line in front of me. As I pass her to go pay, I can’t resist.)

Me: “Who pays cash these days? People who aren’t screwed right now.”

(The look on her face was absolutely worth it.)

Cancelling Their Plans

, , , , , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I work in a hotel. As in so many stories I read, we often get guests who call up wanting a reservation, and demanding special treatment when we’re fully booked up. We have a way of dealing with this:)

Me: “The only way I can give you a room is if we cancel someone else’s reservation.”

Caller: “Well, do that, then!”

Me: “Do you think that’s a fair and reasonable thing for us to do?”

Caller: “YES!”

Me: “So, just to be clear, you won’t have a problem when five minutes later I cancel your reservation and give the room to someone else?”

Caller: “What? F*** no! You can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? You just said it’s okay to do it.”

(The call usually ends about there. Sometimes there’s a follow-up:)

Caller: “You’ve got to give me special treatment; I’m a Platinum Rewards customer!”

Me: “Okay, well, I promise I’ll only cancel your reservation in five minutes time and give it to another Platinum Rewards customer, not to just anyone.”

Knows Zero About Zatanna

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 17, 2018

(I’m one of the few female patrons of my local comic shop, and while the staff is awesome, the other patrons can be less so. I’ve just paid for my comics when the guy ahead of me pipes up.)

Customer:Arrow? That’s not a real comic book. You need someone to tell you about real comics.”

Me: “Who’s Zatanna?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Zatanna Zatara. Who is she?”

Customer: “I don’t know—”

Me: “She’s a magician, an extremely powerful logomancer, arguably the most powerful person in the DCU, and my favorite comic character. Sadly, she’s only ever appeared in an episode of Batman TAS and a couple of minor spots in Justice League, so only serious comic geeks know about her. And you didn’t buy anything but Marvel tie-ins.”

It’s Not The Postman Going Postal Today

, , , , , | Working | June 15, 2018

(A fellow I used to know had a bit of a feud going on with some members of his family at one point. What they were doing was repeatedly going to the post office and redirecting his mail, which, of course, was illegal. When he went to the post office to fix it, they wouldn’t do anything to fix the problem and even allowed it to happen again. He was at his wits’ end, so I coached him on how to fix the problem with the post office. First, I coached him on the importance of only doing it when there were a lot of people in there — an audience if you will. Here is the process I gave him.)

Postal Worker: “Good morning, sir. How may I help you?”

Friend: “Good morning.” *drops phone book on counter and open to a random page* “This person, here: I want their mail redirected to—” *flips phone book to another random page* “—this address, here.” *flips to another page* “And this person, here—” *again flipping page* “I want it sent here.”

Postal Worker: *aghast* “SIR! I can’t allow you to redirect other people’s mail! It isn’t legal!”

Friend: *loudly* “Why not? You’ve let other people do it to me four times in the last month. I should be able to screw other people over, too!”

(Other people waiting in line started to murmur. The upshot was that the station master was called to the front, and his mail was set up requiring picture ID to be presented before his mail could be redirected, thereby ending the problem.)

Teaching Manners To Adults Means Something Went Wrong

, , , , | Friendly | June 15, 2018

(I’m standing in the queue at a popular supermarket chain. It’s busy, and I’ve got my four-year-old daughter with me in her pushchair. She’s clutching a pack of kids drinks I’m about to buy her, and she asks me if she can have one, to which I reply, “Wait until we’ve paid for them,” which she accepts and goes back to sitting there quietly. Her pushchair is a special-needs one, so it takes up more room than the average pushchair, and as we are backing up against one of the shelves and there are a fair few people behind me, I leave a small gap in front of me so people can get through. Then, a woman comes and stands in the gap in front of me, and the following exchange happens:)

Me: “Excuse me, the queue is back here.”

Customer: *ignores me*

Me: “Hey, I’m talking to you, woman in the green t-shirt who is pretending she can’t hear me.”

Customer: *turning round* “Oh, I’ve only got one thing and I’ve got to get back to work. Let me go in front of you.” *I only have two things myself*

Me: “Here’s the thing. I’ve just been telling my daughter that she needs to be patient until she can have her drink because we haven’t paid for them yet, and she’s been sitting here quietly waiting. If I let you go in front of me, what kind of message does that send her?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not moving. What are you going to do about it?”

Me: *loudly* “Well, there’s nothing I can do, if you are okay with having worse manners than a four-year-old.”

(At this point everyone in the queue was staring at her and giving her dirty looks. She looked embarrassed and slumped off to the back of the queue, muttering to herself.)

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