(I work in a big box retailer in the toy department. A customer approaches me when I’m stocking in the Barbie aisle to ask a question.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a specific Barbie and I was wondering if you had it in.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “Do you have Fascist Barbie?”

Me: “Fascist Barbie?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s Fascist Barbie.”

Me: *confused* “Uh, no, we don’t have a Fascist Barbie doll.”

Customer: “Really? I can’t find that anywhere! I don’t really know the name of it. It’s like fascist. Fashion-something Barbie.”

Me: “Oh, Fashionista Barbie?”

Customer: *suddenly happy* “Yes! That’s it!”

Me: “Yeah, we have those. They’re right over here.”

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Customer: “The Swiss cheese I bought last week didn’t have any holes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Sometimes when we get to the end of a block of cheese, there aren’t many holes in it.”

Customer: “Well, can I get my money back?”

Me: “Did you bring the cheese back?”

Customer: “No. I ate it.”

Me: “Did it taste okay?”

Customer: “Yes, it tasted fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “BUT IT DIDN’T HAVE ANY HOLES!”

Me: “Let me get my manager…”

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