Anti-Vaxxers Are Dumber Than Cats

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2020

(I work as a veterinary technician at a vet’s office. I’m the first one to greet the clients and get some background before the doctor comes in.)

Me: “So, it looks like both your cats are due for the Feline Distemper Vaccine, so we can take care of that today.”

Client: “That’s great! Are the vaccines safe?”

Me: “Well, with all vaccines there is always a risk of an allergic reaction. If you’d like, we can pre-treat both of them with Benadryl before they get the shots.”

Client: “That’s all right. They’ll be fine. But that’s not what I meant.”

Me: “Do you have other concerns with the vaccine?”

Client: “Yes, I’m concerned that the vaccine might mess up their little heads.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Client: “I don’t want my babies getting autism or anything like that.”

Me: *screaming internally* “Well, I can certainly check with the doctor before we give the vaccines to make sure they’re safe.”

Client: “Good. I want to keep my boys healthy!”

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He Motor Boated Himself

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

(My husband and I own a mobile marine repair business. We do not have a shop; we repair boats dockside or in a person’s backyard. I have submitted several stories about things that happened at our business but this one really shows the stubbornness of some people. Keep in mind that we charge a minimum of $100 to even look at a customer’s boat and then give advice, so we are paid many times just for our expertise. We get a call in March from a gentleman about getting his boat ready for spring. My husband sees ice in the motor.)

Husband: “Um, sir. Did you winterize this boat?”

(Winterizing a boat entails several things. The biggest step is making sure all the water is drained out of the boat and motor before cold weather hits.)

Owner: “Winterize?” *laughs* “This is the South. That is why I moved here to get away from all the cold weather. You don’t have to winterize anything down here.”

Husband: “While we don’t normally have the cold weather you see further north, we do get temps below freezing during the winter months; plus, you have stored this in your yard in the shade underneath a tree canopy. This motor is full of ice and I don’t even want to think about the ice that may be under the deck. The only thing I can suggest you do is get a heat lamp out here and put under the boat. Let it warm it up for a couple of days and then we can see if the motor is damaged. I won’t charge you to come back and check on it.”

Owner:What?! That is ridiculous. You have no idea what you are talking about. It didn’t get cold enough for ice to form. You have the keys; just start it up.”

Husband: “No, sir. I will not be responsible for what will happen.” 

(My husband wrote on the invoice what was wrong and that the customer was ignoring advice, and insisted that the owner sign it. Then, he handed the man his boat keys. The owner told him he was being silly, climbed up in the boat, and started it up. The motor roared to life and owner smirked at my husband. A few seconds later, there was a huge boom which jolted the boat partway off the trailer, the motor stopped, and black smoke poured out. He stood in the boat, stunned, for several minutes. Embarrassed, he asked my husband to look at it . My husband told him he wouldn’t even have to. The motor was blown and the guy ended up doing over $20K worth of damage to the motor and boat. Why pay us for our expertise and advice if you aren’t going to listen to it?)

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Unfiltered Story #159849

, , , | Unfiltered | August 1, 2019

(Backstory: A few years ago, about a mile from where this takes place but on the same road, I was nearly knocked off my bike by a Fedex driver who came onto the sidewalk. Half of my body was bruised, and in addition to scratching the paint, they had rolled over my front tire, bending the rim, which I had to replace myself, as I never thought to grab a license plate number. This took place in fall 2012, and the following takes place in spring 2015.)

(I am crossing the road to return to my dorm, after having picked up some items like cleaning supplies needed to move out of my dorm the next day. I am on foot, as it is faster than biking to this location. I see something and call my dad to tell him an idea I had; my cell phone has stopped working properly and I am fooling with it. I see the light has changed.)

Me: *Steps out into road*
(A screech is heard and I remember falling backwards. I do not go unconscious, but scramble up and collect my shopping, before hiding behind the light post on the opposite corner. I am autistic, and a panic attack ensues.)
(While there, many people stop, and an ambulance is called.)
Man: Are you okay? You stepped out in front of me!
College RA: [My nickname], what happened?? Did you get hit??
Other College RA: [College higher up] just called an ambulance. Are you sure you’re okay?
Me: I got hit! I got hit!
(Only the first RA is aware of my autism, and warns people to stay back. Police from campus arrive and she quickly answers their questions, as she was a witness and I am still recovering and am incoherent.)
(Shortly after, an RAA [RA supervisor] and the police question me. It turns out the man there asking me if I was okay was the one who had hit me.)
Me, to police: I was trying to call my dad, and I forgot the light was messed up. I walked in front of him.

(We eventually get it sorted out. I refuse to be taken to the hospital, as my only visible wounds are road rash, that have ceased bleeding before the ambulance arrived. I take full responsibility for the crash–I had not been paying to attention, and knew the light was messed up. I insist that the man is not at fault, since I know for sure I was the cause and cannot blame the driver. It turns out the man was a church pastor, and he invited me to his church this fall.)

Me, after the cupcake party at school and showing off my new “battle scars”: I should do this more often!
RAs, all at once: NO!!

(Because my arm is sore, I had to change my move-out inspection to the next day. Only hours later did I realize that the poor pastor was probably on his way to Wednesday chapel! I felt really horrid then!)

Rental Mental

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2019

(My husband gets a great promotion but it requires us to move to another state. I begin the process of selling our old home while my husband is looking for a new home. We both know a lot about buying and selling a home and have done so multiple times, so I know where and how to advertise. I have just listed our house for sale on the real estate websites when I get an email from a gentleman.)

Client: “Saw the pics and it looks beautiful.”

(He asks about the school district and the age of the appliances, condition of the roof, etc. Everything looks great.)

Me: “Would you like to schedule a time to come to see it?”

Client: “Yes, I would also like to know if you would be interested in renting it to me.”

Me: “No, I am not a landlord nor do I have any desire to be. The house is for sale only, as clearly stated in the listing.”

Client: “Well, I really need a place I can rent. I am a single father of three girls and we really need a place to live. I can pay about $900 a month. I really want them to stay in this school district.”

Me: “I sympathize with you, but I cannot rent it or I would be homeless. I need the money for the sale of this house to pay off the mortgage and then use the excess as the down payment to get a mortgage on the house I am buying in the state I am moving to.”

Client: “Please, my kids and I really need a nice home.”

Me: “So do my kids. I will not move them into a car so that you can have a nice home.”

(A few days later I get another email from him.)

Client: “I have a relative that can help; would you take payments?”

Me: “I will take one payment. If you want to do multiple ones, call a bank.”

(I blocked his email after that. What is sad and annoying is that he wasn’t the only one contacting me wanting to know if I would rent to them. If I have a house up for sale, it’s obvious that I am trying to sell it, else I would advertise it as a rental.)

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The Motor’s Blown And So Is This Deal

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(My newer Land Rover SUV’s motor blows. Even blown, the SUV is worth about $1500, according to my research. I list it online for $1200, but I want $1000. Some guy keeps emailing every few hours, trying to lowball me.)

Guy: “So, I see you are trying to sell your Land Rover with the blown engine. You won’t get over $500 for it, but I need the parts, so I will gladly give you $600 to be nice.”

Me: “Thank you for your offer, but no, thank you. My husband is selling it for me and is sure he can get more. You are welcome to come to look at it, but not for that price.”

Guy: “Your husband is very wrong. He knows nothing about cars. Trust me; $600 is more than fair.”

Me: “My husband knows a great deal about cars, being not only a mechanic but from a family of mechanics, so I will go with him. If you wish to see the vehicle, I can arrange a time for you, but don’t waste either of our time if you think it will be for anywhere near $600.”

(He keeps emailing me for two days telling me that he was offering a great deal, and if I don’t take him up on it, the offer will go down to $500 and I will lose out. I ignore every email. On the third day, I receive ANOTHER email just as I am selling it.)

Me: Thank you for your offer but the vehicle is sold. The new owner is here picking up.”

Guy: “You’re kidding! So, just how much did you get? I will still give you $600 if you hold it.”

Me: “No, thank you. I got over $1100 for it.”

Guy: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I don’t care. I have to go to the bank now with my cash. Goodbye.”

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