Unfiltered Story #99110

, | Unfiltered | October 31, 2017

I get about a $3,000 bill one day from a doctor I had seen several months prior. I was confused because I knew my insurance had paid it. I called the billing dept. but got no answer and left a message. Honestly, I forgot about it until the next month when the bill came again. Once again, called, left message and forgot about it. This cycle went on for about 4 months. Then I get a letter threatening to send me to a collection agency. I called my insurance company to double check. They told me not only had they paid it but had a duplicate charge under a different account number that was of course denied.
So I started calling every other day. The office phones weren’t open until 10am and they shut them down at 330. I either got a recording and left a message or the receptionist told me everyone was in a meeting. I told her I was sorry to be mad , I knew it wasn’t her fault but I was sick and tired of this. This went on for over 3 weeks. Then I get another threatening letter. I even went to the office in person but was told everyone was in a meeting and no one could talk to me. At this point I had had it.
I waited until 10pm at night. I called and got the voice mail system. When it said press “1” for nurse. I did so and left a detailed angry message that NO ONE will return my calls, I am being threatened with being sent to a collection agency for a 3K bill that was paid and someone better call me back or I was filing fraud charges with the insurance company and talking to a lawyer. I hung up and called back and did it again after pressing a number for different dept. I then went through the entire employee directory. I did this for almost 2 hours and left dozens of messages on EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE’S voice mail. I then called the Dr’s emergency after hours line and left the same message there.
The next morning at 10:01 I call the office. The receptionist recognized my voice. “Yes, mam, I have the office manager here for you” and transferred me.

“Good morning, Mrs (my name). I was just about to call you.”

Me: Yeah I bet you were.

Manager: yeah, (sheepishly she says) everyone is talking about the messages you left especially the doctor.

Me: Well its not like you left me much choice.

She apologizes and explains. The guy who was handling the bills was creating fake patient accounts and double billing the insurance companies. Most didn’t catch it, paid the doctor , and then the guy stole the money. They fired him but have such a paperwork mess to clean up and had to gather the evidence to convict him that they didn’t have time to call the patients back.

Me: I understand but that is no excuse. You are sending me letters threatening to send me to a collection agency.

Manager: What?! Crap, the computers are printing those out automatically. We didn’t know any had been mailed out.

Me: Yeah well they are and you better start answering these calls because you have some very peeved off patients who like me are calling lawyers.

She apologized again and told me that my account had been cleared up. I wonder though about all the others who just kept calling and getting no where.

Never Be Without A Paddle

, , , , , | Right | September 11, 2017

(I am the assistant manager for a very well known, nationwide novelty shop that also sells some adult intimate products. An older gentleman walks in, in his 60’s, and comes up to me. He looks like your average, blue-collar grandfather, in denim pants and a jacket, along with a plaid men’s work shirt.)

Guest: “Do you have a paddle?”

Me: “Well, not exactly. We have flails and crops. But the only paddle I have is thin, flimsy wood, and is meant as an over-the-hill birthday spanking gag gift. It’s not really sturdy enough for anything hard.”

Guest: “Well, I’d like to see it anyway.”

(I lead him to the item and show it to him. He smacks it against his hand several times to test it.)

Guest: “Well, I don’t know now, I like a good hard spank.”

(I didn’t need to know this. As he continues to test it, I pick up a set of purple suspenders with fake plastic breasts that was on the floor, and hang them up. He interrupts himself and points to the suspenders.)

Guest: “Now, are those just for women, or can a man wear them too?”

(This startles me slightly, but at this point in my job, not much shocks me anymore.)

Me: “Well, yeah, they are just an old age gag gift, too, but they are standard suspenders so they should be adjustable to fit a man.”

(His reply is 100% serious.)

Guest: “Oh, well that might be an idea then. I’m getting tired of stuffing my braziers.”

(I really didn’t need to know that. My professionalism takes over and he doesn’t get to see what I am really thinking, as I try not to laugh.)

Me: “Well, yeah, that should work for you. But as for this paddle, it is all we have. I suggest you go to [Nearby Adult Shop]. I am sure they are going to have what exactly you need.”

Guest: “Oh, well, all right. But I do like a good hard spank. If I can’t find one there, I will come back for this in a few weeks. I don’t really have a place to hide it you see, and my mistress is out of town for a few weeks. My wife would find it.”

(I certainly didn’t need to know that! Enter Extreme Professional Mode!)

Me: “All right, well, yes, [Other Shop] should absolutely have exactly what you need!

Guest: “All right, thank you!”

(As he walked out of my store, and I watched him go, thinking of all his surprising revelations to a complete stranger, I watched him reach behind himself, and lift his shirt slightly so that he might hike up his pants. In the process, I saw that he was wearing florescent pink, extremely frilly, women’s underwear. Needless to say, I went straight to the back-room and hit the floor laughing.)

Hanging Themselves

, , , , , | Learning | June 16, 2017

(We are in math class and this one kid is talking. Note that my math teacher has a sarcastic sense of humor.)

Student: *talking and generally being rude*

Teacher: “Well, [Student], if you think you don’t have to pay attention, why don’t you teach the class?”

Student: “Seriously?”

Teacher: “Sure!” *she hands him her keycard and everything*

Student: “Okay, class, so as Ms. [Teacher] was saying…”

(The teacher sat down in his seat, and started playing hangman with us. By now half the class was playing hangman and the other half was chatting to themselves, no one paying attention to the student. That was the best math class ever!)