Half A Vicious Cycle

| Burnaby, BC, Canada | Learning | April 18, 2017

(My tutorial has just taken a short quiz on the book we read for class. We are currently going over the answers.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “And number three… a bicycle. You can have a half point if you wrote unicycle.”

Classmate: “If we wrote tricycle, can we get one-and-a-half?”

Teacher’s Assistant: “NO.”

A Negative Impact On Your Grades

| TX, USA | Learning | April 17, 2017

I’ve just completed the group’s PowerPoint by myself. The presentation goes okay. They know enough not to just read my slides, at least.

Afterwards, we are asked to fill out a review sheet evaluating each others’ performance. Against my better instincts, I answer honestly.

A week passes, and my group is happy to get As. Guess what I get? B minus. I ask my teacher why, and she responds with this gem:

“Your group members said you had a lot of negativity towards the end of the project.”

Will Teach Them To The Bitter End

| Washington, DC, USA | Learning | April 15, 2017

(Our biology lab is discussing traits specific to certain genes. One such trait is the ability to taste phenylthiocarbamide, or PTC, which is harmless, extremely bitter chemical – but only to people with a specific genetic makeup.)

Professor: “All of you take one of these strips of paper. It’s covered with PTC, which will be horribly bitter to some of you but tasteless to others.”

Student #1: “How will we know if we can taste it? What if we aren’t sure?”

Professor: “It’s really bitter. You’ll know.”

Student #1: “But I mean, I drink black coffee. It might not affect me even if I have the right genes.”

Professor: “It’s nothing like coffee. You’ll know immediately if you’re tasting PTC or not.”

Student #1: “But how can we be SURE?”

Student #2: *has put the paper strip on his tongue* “OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! EW, EW, EW!” *spits in sink, rinses mouth* “HOLY CRAP, that was DISGUSTING!” *gagging, spitting*

Professor: “Seriously. You’ll know.”

A Lecture On Irony

| Seattle, WA, USA | Learning | April 14, 2017

(I am in a lecture hall, and the teacher is going over the syllabus. The two girls in this story are sitting directly behind me.)

Teacher: “I will ask that you please refrain from talking during my lectures. It is distracting to me, to you, and to your fellow students.”

Girl #1: *whispering* “So true. If you aren’t going to pay attention, why are you here?”

Girl #2: *also whispering* “Right? Like, switch to a different class. Don’t disrupt the one we’re in.”

Girl #1: “Or just write a note, if it’s really so important. No need to be rude.”

Me: *turned to stare at both of them, not saying a word*

(They noticed me after a couple of seconds, then their eyes got a little wider and they hunched down in their seats. I turned back to the front, and neither of them said another word the rest of the lecture. The next session, I saw them sitting as far away as possible from where I was sitting.)

This Administration Doesn’t Quite Add Up

, , | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Learning | April 13, 2017

(The office I work in accepts calls from out of state students in order to help them with their school work. Between scheduled appointments, I am doing some filing at my desk, when my coworker’s conversation with his student catches my attention. We work in the math, business, and statistics department.)

Coworker #1: *into his headset* “I… well, maybe our new president will do something for this country, ma’am. Yes. Perhaps. No, I don’t think the Bible means you have to love tyrants; I think it probably just means you should respect authority. Well, yes, it is true that the revolution had plenty of Christians in it, ma’am. That was a common religion then. Right. Um… no, I don’t think a revolt should be lead against the government. No, ma’am, I’m not at liberty to say which political party I belong to. No, thank you… Right. Now, did you have any other questions about your math homework? Okay. Right.”

Coworker #2: *nudges him* “[Coworker #1], it doesn’t seem like much math is going on; having fun?”

(Coworker #1 makes a face like he wants to die, and finishes his appointment.)

Coworker #1: “Next time the caller tries to start a political debate, can I transfer them to someone who specializes in poli-sci?”

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