Be-Wear Open Questions

| Memphis, TN, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I work once a week at the help desk answering calls for students, alumni and guests. This exchange happened after I helped an elderly student change his password. Since this is my first day of work, I have a team leader shadowing my calls.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Client: “Yes, ma’am… Whatcha wearing this evening?”

Team Leader: *muffled giggling*

Me: *bewildered* “Uh… I’m sorry, what?”

Client: “What are you wearing? I’m serious.”

Me: *struggling to muffle my laughter* “Standard work clothes, sir.”

Client: “Well, you shouldn’t be leaving yourself open to questions like that, little lady. It gets ya in trouble. You have a good day.” *hangs up*

(I took myself out of the queue and my team leader and I spent a good five minutes laughing.)

Questionable Behavior

| Pullman, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, School

(While I am a student I work as a tour guide for prospective students.)

Me: “Now if you have any questions. Feel free to ask me anything that doesn’t violate my fifth amendment rights!”

(A good portion of the groups laugh as expected. The tour continues with me answering the occasional question. A mother of a high-school girl has one.)

Mother: “What are your enrollment numbers?”

Me: “Our undergrad enrollment is [number]. If you count grad students it goes up to [higher number].”

Mother: “Thank you.”

(Several minutes later, this same mother asks another questions.)

Mother: “Where are the dining halls and how many options do they serve?”

Me: “Well, ma’am…”

(I proceed to give her every piece of info I can about meal plans, the dining locations, and even the specific food items. Several more minutes into the tour…)

Mother: “I heard that last year you had a swine flu epidemic and had to shut down the school!”

(At this point I wonder if she is clueless or deliberately trying to get a question I can’t answer.)

Me: “Actually, several students were diagnosed but nowhere near an epidemic.”

Mother: “How do you know? I heard they had to cancel two football games here!”

Me: “Ma’am, I go to every home football game. If they really did cancel a football game then I have no idea what I was watching.”

(Some of the other parents are trying to contain their laughter, and even this woman’s daughter looks embarrassed at her mom)

Mother: “Fine.” *looks around and then points* “WHAT KIND OF BIRD IS THAT!?”

(The rest of the group as this point cannot believe this is happening.)

Me: “If we look at that bird, we can clearly see that’s a magpie, which my friend pointed out to me last week. Now moving on…”

(At this point the mother pulls out a phone as we continue and about two minutes later I hear the daughter.)

Daughter: “See? It was a magpie! Now, will you please stop!?”

There’s A Twist At The End

, | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

(I serve ice cream on a buffet line in the college’s cafeteria. There’s vanilla, chocolate, and twist on the soft serve machine.)

Student: “Can I have some soft serve vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we ran out.”

Student: “Oh. Then can I have the twist?”