Professor: “The people in Looking Backwards wouldn’t say things like, ‘Only good people drive Cadillacs.'”
Student: “If you’ve ever been stuck behind an Escalade, you know that’s not true anyway.”
(I am in line buying food at one of my school’s cafeterias. I’ve had a pretty awful weekend after receiving some sad news, and am still feeling down.)
Cashier: “Hey, how are you?”
Me: “Okay. How was your weekend?”
Cashier: “Pretty boring. Yours?”
Me: *sort of laughing* “Pretty horrible, actually.”
Cashier: “Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re okay.”
(I buy my food and sit down, but get back in line after deciding to get a smoothie as well. I approach the same cashier with my drink.)
Cashier: “It’s on me.”
Me: “Are you serious? Thank you so much!”
Cashier: “No problem. I hope you feel better!”
(After I finished my lunch, I bumped into him again. He’d just gotten off work and asked me what happened, then gave me a hug and told me to let him know if I need anything. I was still upset, but he really improved my day!)
Professor: “It is extremely important that you cite your work! I will not tolerate plagiarism!”
Student: “How do you want the papers to be cited? MLA? APA?”
Professor: “As long as you don’t take peoples’ work without crediting it, I am fine with whatever style. I am a stickler for plagiarism!”
(After going over the syllabus, she starts the first part of lecture.)
Professor: “Oh by the way, I copied and pasted some information on the internet to make this PowerPoint.”
Student: “Can you give us the site to study off of later?”
Professor: “Oh, I don’t remember what it was; just some random website that I copied!”
(Needless to say, she got even more ridiculous as the semester went on.)
(I work at a college library that is open 24 hours during exam week only. At the start of the new semester, a continuing education student walks in.)
Student: “I’d like to make a complaint.”
Me: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”
Student: “I came here at 2 am yesterday and no one let me in!”
Me: “Ma’am, no one was here.”
Student: “You’re lying! I was here at two in the morning in December!”
Me: “I understand that, ma’am. However we only have a 24 hour—”
Student: “You’re lying to stay out of trouble! Ain’t you, f****** b****!?”
Me: “No, ma’am… I—”
Student: “You young people don’t know what it’s like having a job AND to be studying! You rich little b****! I’m gonna get you fired!”
Me: “Ma’am, actually—”
(At this point she goes off to the director of the library and starts yelling at her. After ten minutes of shouting, my boss finally responds to the angry woman.)
Boss: “I’m sorry you couldn’t see the clearly marked hours on our door, the handouts, or your student planner. However we can not force our student employees to work 24 hour shifts all semester seeing as they also need to study along with their jobs. Now please, refrain from cursing and leave my library!”
(I am studying in the student center when I overhear this conversation from the next table over.)
Girl #1: “How many oceans do we need to know for this test? I only know one!”
Girl #2: “I know. This is going to be so hard.”
Girl #1: “I’m going to fail. I wish it was multiple choice. At least if there were four choices, I’d have a 50-50 chance of getting it right!”
