(I am an assistant student helping during the first years’ biology class. The class has been instructed to take a mouth cell sample to look at under the microscope. A student signals me to come over.)

Me: “Do you need help with something?”

Student #1: “Yes, can you please show us again how to take the sample correctly?”

(I explain the procedure, mimicking the way to scrap the inside of their cheeks with a cotton swab and then place the cells in the microscope slide.)

Student #2: “So are these cells animal or plant?”

(I’m taking a final exam with a professor who is known for little ‘experiments.’ I’m also not very good at his subject. Our tests are face down on our desks ready for us to begin.)

Professor: “Anyone who gets up now, walks out the door, and doesn’t take the test will get a 6.”

(A 6 is a passing grade, but barely. Most of the students get up and walk out. I remain seated.)

Professor: “[My name], you are having a hard time with this subject; don’t you want the 6?”

Me: “I would like my grades to be my own work, so I’ll stay.”

Professor: “Okay then. *addressing the few of us who stayed* “Please turn over the test.”

(We turn over the test and it only has one question: ‘Name.’)

Professor: “This graphic will really blow your mind.”

Class: “Yeah, sure.”

Professor: “Yeah, it’s more mind-blowing than The Gaga Lady.”

Student: “I think you mean Lady Gaga.”

Professor: “Well, I was going to say Paula Abdul, but none of you are old enough to get that reference.”

(We are going to have a quiz in journalism class about AP Style and one of the questions is whether Wikipedia is or is not an acceptable source for articles. We have been given the questions, but not the answers, in advance. This happens before class starts.)

Me: “Happy birthday, [professor].”

Professor: “It’s not my birthday, but thanks.”

Me: “Well, your Wikipedia article says it’s your birthday.”

Professor: “Well, that’s why Wikipedia is not a reliable source for your articles.”

Other Student: “Thanks for giving us one of the quiz answers, [professor]!”

Professor: “Oops. Oh well. Now you all should get at least one point…”

(I work part-time as a clerk in a small store while I was in university where I can study when it’s not busy. I’m reading a logic textbook one afternoon when a customer comes up to the till.)

Customer: “Logic! that looks interesting!”

Me: “Yes, I enjoy it but it isn’t enough to make a career out of, unfortunately.”

Customer: “That’s not true! My brother has a PhD in phenomenology and he was the best fit of all of our siblings to take over my father’s gas station!”