(I work at a university; note that it is generally considered very academically competitive.)
Student: “I think there’s a hold on my account.”
Me: “Yes, health services put a registration hold on your account because they don’t have your immunization—”
Student: “Wait, that’s a big word! I don’t know what that means!”
Me: “Can I help you?”
Student: “I can’t find my professor’s office.”
Me: “Do you have an office number?”
Student: “Yeah. It’s 412.”
Me: “Well, that’s just down the hallway.”
Student: “I tried. That’s not his office.”
Me: “Is he a political science professor or a modern languages professor?
Student: “Neither. Geology.”
Me: “Are you sure he’s in this building?”
Student: “No.”
Me: “What building is he in?”
Student: “I don’t know.”
Me: “There are lots of buildings on campus.”
Student: “I know.”
Me: “What made you think it was this one?”
Student: “I don’t know…”
(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)
Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”
Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*
Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”
Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*
Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”
Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”
(I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)
Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”
Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”
Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”
Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”
Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”
(I work in a campus post office for students only. Package slips are put in the boxes and an e-mail is sent to the student’s school e-mail address when they receive a package.)
Me: “Hi, can I help you?”
Student: “Hi, do I have a package?”
Me: “Did you have a package slip in your box? I need that.”
Student: “No, I didn’t get one.”
(I go to the back and check anyway because one of the workers often forgets to put the slips in the boxes during her shift.)
Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t see any package with your name.”
Student: “Could you check again?”
Me: “There were only 6 packages, and I’m sure none of them were for you. Did you get an email saying your package had arrived?”
Student: “No.”
Me: “Did the tracking number say it had been delivered?”
Student: “Oh, no, the tracking number didn’t have any information on it.”
(I go online to double check her tracking number.)
Me: “It says here that you ordered the package only three hours ago.”
Student: “Yeah, so it’s not here yet?”
Me: “No. It says here that it’s coming from out of the country. It could take up to a month for it to arrive depending on how long it takes to get through customs, but it usually takes two or three weeks.”
Student: “Oh…well, okay. I’ll come back to check tomorrow then!”
