(I’m living away from home, going to school. My parents call me almost every night for a short chat.)
Mom: “How was class today, honey?”
Me: “I didn’t have class. I had my lab exam, remember?”
Mom: “Oh, right. Did you learn anything new?”
Me: “No, I had my lab exam!”
Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your lab exam?”
Me: “Today!”
Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your next exam?”
Me: “Monday. Mom, I’m going to head off now.”
Mom: “Ok, honey, love you. Good luck in your exam tomorrow.”
(I work in the admissions office of a large university, sitting near the residency window. People frequently come in to dispute being ruled a non-resident for tuition purposes, which results in higher tuition.)
Student: “I was ruled a non-resident and I’m a resident?”
Me: “Well, just let me see your ID and I’ll pull up your file and we can take a look.”
(I pull up the file on my computer.)
Me: “It says on your application that you’ve only been here six months and you still have an out-of-state driver’s license. To be classified as a resident, you need to have lived in-state for at least 12 months and have a Utah driver’s license.”
Student: “That’s crap! I have a Utah fishing license. Doesn’t that count for anything?!”
(I run into my ex at the library. We have not dated for a year.)
Ex: “Hey, what’s up?”
Me: “Hey, not too much. Pretty stressed out.”
Ex: “Oh, I’m sorry! I love you!”
Me: *surprised* “Um…cool, see you later!”
(I’m working the register at a college cafeteria when a girl about my age walks up. She has a cast wrapped around her hand and wrist.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “I broke my hand. Can I get a free bottle of pop?”
Me: “Um, I can ask my manager.”
Customer: “Okay.”
(I go to the back office and tell my manager what just happened. He’s a really nice guy, but in this situation he just looks at me in disbelief and says no. I go back out to the register.)
Me: “Sorry, my manager says no.”
Customer: “Okay.” *laughs* “It was worth a try!”
(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)
Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”
Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*
Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”
Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*
Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”
Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”
