Zero Short Term Memory, Part 2

, , | Right | February 22, 2008

(There is an ID check to enter the lab and to print.)

Me: “Hi, can I see your ID, please?”

Guy: “No, I don’t need ID to come in here.”

Me: “Yes, at this lab it is required.”

Guy: “But I don’t need an ID to come in!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really need your ID, or I can’t let you come into the lab.”

Guy: “Oh I need ID to come in? Why didn’t you just ask me for it?!”

Me: *headdesk*

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Tomorrow’s Leaders, Indeed

, , , | Right | February 20, 2008

(I work tech support for a university, and our help desk supports faculty/staff only. On this day, a student walks in.)

Student: “I’m here to turn in my paper.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is the Faculty Help Desk, we don’t deal with student assignments.”

Student: “But I don’t know where to turn it in. Can’t you just turn it in for me?”

Me: “No, if you don’t know where to turn it in, I would certainly not have a clue.”

Student: “But can’t you just take it?”

Me: “No. If you’re really that confused, contact your professor or go to the department office. I’m sure they can help you.”

Student: “But can’t you just take it?”

Me: *blinks in disbelief* “Um…”

Student: “Please, take it!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I proceed to take it and place it in the recycle bin in front of her.)

Student: “Thank you so much!”

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Higher Education, Not So High Common Sense

, , , | Right | January 28, 2008

(I work for tech support at my college.)

Me: “[College Name] tech support, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m having trouble with my e-mail client. I can’t figure out how to set up my account.”

Me: “No problem, let me walk you through it.”

(I talk her through the account set up screens. Finally, when we’re done…)

Me: “All right, click on ‘OK’ and you should be all set.”

Caller: “What ‘OK’? I don’t see anything that says ‘OK’.”

Me: “There’s a button to the lower right of the window that says ‘OK’, next to the ‘Cancel’ button.”

Caller: “I don’t see it.”

(This exchange goes on for about 5 minutes. I have the program open on my computer and describe the window to make sure she’s in the right spot, and she is. I make sure she’s running the same version, she is.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have the program open right now, and there should be an ‘OK’ button to the right of a ‘”Cancel’ button…at the bottom right of the screen.”

Caller: “That’s so strange… I just don’t see one.”

Me: “Hmm. Well, what building are you in? Maybe I could help you better in person.”

Caller: “I’m in the–oh, wait! You mean THAT ‘OK’ button?”

Me: “The one at the bottom right, next to a ‘Cancel’ button?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “…yes. Click on that.”

Caller: “Thank you!”

(The other IT techs were laughing throughout this whole conversation… then one informed me that the caller was actually head of the college’s financial aid department. I suddenly understood why half of my friends were having problems with their financial aid.)

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Barking Up The Wrong Tree

, , | Right | January 14, 2008

Me: “Good afternoon, AV Services, how can I help you?”

Very Angry Caller: “Yeah, I just flew in on Flight [Number] from Cleveland, and you lost my luggage.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you have the wrong number. This is the [University].”

Very Angry Caller: “No it’s not! You’re just saying that!”

Me: “No, really, sir. Our phone number is very close to the airport’s number.”

Very Angry Caller: “LISTEN! YOU LOST MY D*** LUGGAGE! YOU NEED TO FIND IT!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t have your luggage.”

Very Angry Caller: “STOP F****** LYING! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have your luggage either. We could probably get you a DVD player or a slide projector.”

(Very Angry Caller starts cussing randomly. I hang up.)

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That’s, Like, Mean

, , | Learning | December 30, 2007

Student: “So, like, um, you wrote on my paper that I wrote like, I, like spoke… but you only gave me two out of ten points.

Me: “You used ‘like’ 56 times and ‘that’ 87.”

Student: “Um, why is that a problem?”

Me: “It was a two-page writing assignment.”

Student: “So… um… since I talked with you, um… can I have some more points?”

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